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“Glad ta hear it.” Beatrice grinned. “Wha’ was it like in St. Croix?”
“Well, his family has a house there, so we had a lot of space to ourselves, which was pretty wonderful. We got to clear our heads in peace.”
“An’ no audience to bother ye.” Beatrice laughed and gave Rose a quick hug. “Really, though, I’m glad ye had time ta get away from all this for a while. If there’s anythin’ I can do to help with all the stress, just let me know.”
“I will. Thank you so much, Bea.”
Beatrice smiled as she left, and Rose pulled in a long breath.
That was easy enough.
She made herself a cup of coffee and carried it to her office. As soon as she entered, she froze.
Alex stood beside her desk, fidgeting on his feet.
“Bea didn’t tell me you were waiting,” Rose said lamely. There were a million other things she wanted to say, but none of them seemed like appropriate conversation starters. Are you any less angry than the last time we spoke? Why did you think showing up to say a bunch of angry shit to Luke was a good idea? Did you seriously pull the “you’re not the father” card? How old are we, honestly?
“In her defense,” said Alex, “she probably didn’t know. I came in the side door. Where you always let me in.”
He wasn’t looking at her—he’d turned to face her, but he was staring at the filing cabinet in the corner, clearly trying hard to keep his focus there.
“Ah.” Rose nodded. “Do you want to sit?”
“Thanks.”
He took the chair in front of her desk, and he sat on its edge, not quite relaxing into it. Rose made her way around the smooth metal desk and to the matching chair behind it. The desk and chairs had been a gift from Beatrice last Christmas, and aside from a stack of files, a pale blue lamp, and the mug Rose sat down after her first sip of creamer-laden coffee, the desk was empty. She flicked the lamp on, mostly to give herself something to do. Alex still wouldn’t look at her. His brown eyes were ringed by dark circles, and she wondered when the last time was that he’d slept. She then reminded herself that she was no longer in the position to ask those kinds of questions.
“I called,” he said, staring at her coffee mug. “I tried here, during your normal hours, because I figured putting a little bit of distance between us was the right thing to do. I didn’t think you’d want me clogging up your cell.”
Rose nudged the top file folder into alignment with the one beneath it.
“Anyway,” Alex continued, “Beatrice said you were on vacation. I was on my way home when I saw your car, so I thought I’d stop by. I can leave, if you like.”
“You don’t have to do that.” She looked up at him, and at last, his eyes met hers. She waited for him to speak, and when he didn’t, she tried again. “What did you want to talk about?”
Alex inhaled. “I feel like there’s a lot left unresolved. The first thing I want to say is that I’m sorry.”
Rose frowned. “For what?”
“For starters, telling Luke about your pregnancy. That wasn’t my place, and I shouldn’t have done it. I was so angry and confused and hurt—it doesn’t justify what I did, but just know that if I’d had my head on straight, I never would’ve done something like that.”
“I’m sorry you found out the way you did,” said Rose. “I should’ve told you before I did anything else. I… I didn’t get the chance to explain everything when I came by the house. I know this doesn’t justify anything, either, but I want you to hear the whole truth.”
Alex nodded, and though there was pain in his eyes, the anger that had filled them the last time she’d seen him was gone.
“You know I left Luke after what happened with Calvin and Lorenzo.”
“Yes. Those idiots.”
“Right. But it’s a little more complicated than that.”
He raised a brow.
“I was already in a terrible emotional state before any of that happened, and I wasn’t handling anything the way I should have. Alex, this… isn’t the first time I’ve been pregnant.”
The color drained from his face.
“No one knew,” Rose went on. “No one. It was so early, just a few weeks, and I’d only just found out, and then I lost the baby.” Tears bit at her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. “I was terrified of what would happen if my parents knew, and I was mourning someone I’d never gotten the chance to meet or even tell anyone about, so I was mourning alone. I didn’t handle the stress well. Yeah, I got freaked out by what happened at the bar, and I gave Luke his ring back and told myself I needed space and time. But then I lost the baby, and I couldn’t go back to him knowing I’d kept all of that from him. Like you said, if I’d been thinking straight, I wouldn’t have done things the same way. I wouldn’t have left permanently, and I probably never would’ve left at all. I just wasn’t in the right state of mind to be making those kinds of decisions.”
