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“If you won’t give me anything else, please give me that. I miss my best friend. It’s like… it’s like I’m missing a part of me for seven years.” I stare into her eyes, her chin tipped up to look at me like she did the stars, and I see it there. The sadness buried under her tough exterior, the way this is all weighing on her.
The way I’m weighing on her.
For a moment, I wonder if Stella will ever let me back in. If this is all a fruitless quest to find her again.
But god, I miss her. I miss her too fucking badly to throw this away, to throw her away. I’ve spent seven years trying to get her out from where she burrowed under my skin with no success.
“Friends,” she whispers.
“I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m selfish. I’m selfish, and I need something from you. A part of you. I’ve been missing the part you took all those years ago. Give me something, something small to fill the void,” I whisper. I realize now how close we’re standing, how I can feel her body heat in the chill of the early summer night. My head tipped down to look at her, hers tipped up to look at me, a decade of thoughts flashing across her face.
I almost step back, assuming she’s not going to say anything, but I’m stopped when her warm hand settles on my chest, right over my heart, and the permanent reminder I have there like she somehow knows it’s here.
“Riggs,” she whispers, then closes the gap between us, sandwiching her hand between us.
I can’t stop myself, every molecule of my body screaming to grab her, to touch her, to drag her into this house and remind her of who we are together. I grab her, wrapping one arm on her waist.
Time passes at a speed that makes my skin itch, that makes me want to scream, want to jump and speak before her, but I force myself to pause, to wait, to give her whatever time she needs.
I remember this about her. I was impulsive and would jump before I thought, but not my Stella. She always thought things out, breaking them down until she knew the exact pros and cons and potential outcomes before making a decision.
The only time she jumped without looking was when I asked her to marry me and look how that ended.
So I wait. I watch the thoughts and emotions cross her face, watch her deduce the ending of how things could go before finally,finally, she moves to her tiptoes.
I lean down and the world stops moving. The sun explodes and my body goes up in flames, a million memories and long buried emotions escaping as I press my lips to hers, soft and pliant, both so painfully familiar and eerily foreign.
And for the first time in seven years, I kiss my wife.
It starts chaste, just a pressing of lips on lips, but then she gasps, her lips opening a bit as she does, and I can’t help but slide my tongue into her, tasting her as I do. Her body melts to mine, her hand moving to behind my neck and fingers twining into my hair. My arm moves, wrapping her waist, and we continue to kiss until I lose track of time, place, and reality. It heals something inside of me that’s been broken for years, and when it ends, when she moves her head back just a bit, there is a flash of confusion, longing, and embarrassment. I feel hope rather than disappointment.
“Okay. Friends,” she says in a whisper like the kiss didn’t just happen.
A weight leaves my chest, but I don’t actually speak, just nod and smile at her, a mirror of her as she steps away and moves to unlock her door, cracking it open and turning to me again.
“Good night, Riggs,” she says. “Glad to have you back.” It’s a simple statement, but it sends a cascade of warmth through me all the same.
14 MEAN! - MADELINE THE PERSON
NOW
STELLA
Hammering wakes me up the next morning. After Riggins drove me home and walked me to my door after I had a huge lapse in judgment and kissed him, I took the world’s quickest shower to scrub off the existence of Parker, then I took two melatonin and passed out. To her credit, my mother agreed I could have an extra day off this week since I was going on the datesheinsisted on, meaning I was able to turn my alarm off and sleep in.
Strangely enough, I had the best sleep I’ve had in months, passing right out even though I should’ve stayed up way too late overthinking thatkiss, and not waking up once during the night like I normally do.
But now there is a low banging noise coming from outside my house, and I have no idea why.
I roll out of my bed and shuffle to the living room, seeing a familiar truck in the drive from the front window. Sliding my feet into a pair of sandals, I open the front door, not even bothering to check through the peephole.
“What are you doing?” I ask, staring at Riggins in a tight tee and a pair of jeans, holding a hammer in his hands.
“Oh, good, you’re up,” he says.
“What are you doing here?”
“Fixing your porch, obviously.”
