AllFreeNovel
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“When tour is over, we’ll get one. Together. What do you want?”
“Really?” I ask, excited.
“Whatever you want, little star.” I turn in his lap, grab the notebook I’d been doodling in, and point to one of the flowers in the margins.
“I want this,” I say, pointing to the letter R in a heart. “Your heart on my sleeve.” I look over my shoulder and see he’s smiling wide. He likes that idea.
“I’ll get a star and an S. My little star with me all the time.” I like that a ton.
“And a sunflower,” I say, getting overconfident.
“A sunflower?”
“Yeah. They’re my favorite.”
“Alright, Stell. I’ll find an artist back home; we’ll get it together.” Another kiss is pressed to my neck, and his hands start to travel over my belly and dipping down. “Now, the guys are out for at least another hour or two. What do you say we take advantage of the small amount of alone time we have?”
Now, that is an offer I can’t deny.
And when I’m sweaty, smiling, and satisfied on the bed we share in the back of the bus, I completely forget about how he drank that beer in two swallows.
25 GROWING SIDEWAYS
NOW
STELLA
I wake up to banging.
A steady knock outside my house has my pulse pounding until I hear intermittent dog tags jingling.
Gracie.
Gracie is outside, which means Riggins is probably outside, too.
Sitting up, I take note of my body, the achy exhaustion in my limbs, and the quiet, foggy blanket covering my mind.
I left early in the morning before Riggins woke, driving home in silence, overthinking every moment that happened the previous night. Him singing my song, going to his place in a rage, the papers. The kiss. Everything that happened after the kiss.
The contentment I felt falling asleep in his arms.
I was surprised when I was able to fall back asleep when I got home, but I told myself the day prior had taken an emotional toll, draining me. But now I know to my bones that’s probably not it. I feel the rising tide of another episode coming on, the waters lapping up to my knees now, holding me down.
With a sigh, I roll out of bed and use the bathroom before sliding on a pair of sandals and moving toward the front door, where the banging is the loudest. I’m still in Riggins’ tee and a pair of my own shorts as I tiredly lean on the door frame, watching as he bangs a hammer into loose nails on the porch.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
His head lifts, followed by his body, and Gracie runs to me, dancing in front of where I stand until I pet her. “Funny, that’s what I said this morning when I woke up to an empty bed. No note, no text, nothing. Just an empty bed, your car out of my drive.”
I squint at him, still tired and confused, trying to understand. “Are you… are youmadat me?” I ask, bewildered.
“Considering everything that happened yesterday, I’m trying my fuckin’ hardest not to be, Stella, but I’m having a hard time doing so.” My head snaps back, and I stare at him.
“You’re not allowed to be mad at me,” I say, and Riggins stands to his full height, staring at me with false shock.
“I’m not? My wife spends the night in my bed, I don’t have nightmares for the first time in seven years, and then I wake up, and she’s gone?” For a moment, I stand there, stunned becauseI don’t have nightmares for the first time in seven yearsis running through my mind but then I snap out of it.
I can’t have him helping me slide into the easy we used to be before everything imploded. I mean, fuck, he’s only been in my life for a couple of weeks, and my life is already going back to the mess it was when he was in it.
