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I wait until my heart has calmed a bit from asking about the past. It beats rapidly again but in a different way.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I look at her, and her eyes are on me, questioning. “Come to the party,” I say.
“Come to the party?” She echoes, and I stand, taking a few steps in her direction and offering her my hand. I’m not sure how she’s going to react, but when he reaches out, grabbing mine and allowing me to tug her to standing, it surprises me. Then she’s just inches from me, her face not far from mine.
“Yeah. As my date.”
A million thoughts fly over her face, only few I’m able to capture and interpret before the next comes.
Confusion.
Concern.
Excitement.
They’re all there, all at the same time, but I force myself to latch on to the good ones, telling myself only time can help with the others.
“Date,” she whispers, but it isn’t a question, more like she’s weighing the simple word and deciding how it feels on her lips. “Okay,” she finally says.
And just like she used to, just like when she would smile at me on my dark days, she lights up my world with a shy, quiet smile. A supernova in my dark sky.
31 SAVE ME
THEN
RIGGINS
Usually, talking to my sister helps to ease my worries, but for the first time since I can remember, it’s not working. The guys are out at press events, and I stayed behind. We’re at the tail end of the tour before it starts back up in March. Two nights ago, we celebrated the tour almost being done and my 20th birthday, and for the first time since I joined, I resented this tour.
And what it’s doing to Riggins.
“You should talk to him, Stell. No one has ever been able to get through to him like you,” my sister says.
I just finished finally confessing everything I’ve been feeling. I love everything about being on tour with Riggins and the guys. It’s everything I daydreamed about for what feels like my entire life, but I’ve never once gone so long without seeing my twin.
When she went to college just two hours from home, she came home once a month, at the very least, and we’d snuggle in bed together, giggling like we were ten in our childhood room, then later in Riggins and my apartment.
But now, when she comes home, I’m somewhere else, across the country
It hurts not having her. Riggins might be my other half, but Evie is my soul.
So every few days, I sneak off to peace and quiet while the boys go out wreaking havoc or practicing or doing some kind of press stop and call Evie, filling her in on everything that’s been happening.
Unfortunately, being on tour has shown me some of the darker sides of our dreams, including Riggins’ growing obsession with drinking at all hours of the day. We wake, and before I even get ready for the day, he’s holding a beer. By the time their shows end, he’s stumbling off stage, and he isn’t stopping there.
It was fun at first, drinking and partying with the band, and random celebrities and musicians came to hang out and get wild, but now I’m concerned. Alcoholism runs in his family, even if he refuses to acknowledge his father, and it looks like he’s following the same path.
“It’s just, I’ve seen his dad. You know how he completely spiraled after Jeanette died. He’s drinking himself into an early grave, and I’m worried Riggs is right behind him.”
Before Evie can respond, I hear it.
“Are you talking to your sister about me?” Riggins’ voice booms. I didn’t even hear him coming onto the bus, but now he’s standing over me, anger clear on his face.
“Hey, Evie, I gotta go,” I say, not even waiting for a response before I end the call and toss the phone on the sofa. It vibrates with a text almost instantly, but I leave it where it lies, standing and reaching for Riggins.
When he steps back, just out of my reach, dread curls in the pit of my stomach, dark and ominous.
