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“He yelled at you?”
“Well, not like…” I almost say he didn’t scare me, that it wasn’t mean, but that’s not the truth, is it? It was mean. It did scare me.
“He was just frustrated,” I try to justify.
“No, he was fucking mad someone finally called him out for his bullshit,” Beckett says.
“What did he say, Stella?” I roll my lips into my mouth, unsure if I should say anything, if I should share this, but this is his band. His best friends. And despite everything, even if he really truly does want me gone and thinks I’m not fit for this life. I want him to be happy and healthy.
I do think he needs help.
“It really doesn’t matter, you guys. It’s no big. I think.. maybe I should just let him enjoy the road, head home, and see you guys when it’s over.” Beck’s arms get tight, and honestly, I’m a little reticent to look up at Reed with the sudden violence cracking in the room. Those two weeks would be the most miserable ones of my life, after living this life I fucking love, despite the partying, after being with Riggins like this, after being out of Ashford and away from my mother… “And he might be right, I’m technically underage, and you all?—”
“None of us wake up first thing in the morning and crack open a beer, Stell, and just a reminder, Riggins is the youngest in this fucking band,” Beckett says.
I did know that. I did. I just…
“What did he say, Stella?” Wes asks, his voice firm, and I know there’s no avoiding this.
“He said if this was too much for me, I should go home and that he’s just enjoying himself. And again, he’s not technically wrong, I?—”
But there’s no one here to reason with anymore.
With those words, Beck sets me aside, and then he is out the door of the bus, Reed and Wes following, calling his name.
I just sit there, unsure of what to do, but a sinking sadness seeps into my chest that makes it nearly impossible to leave this spot.
Instead, I lay down where I am, cry a bit more, and fall asleep without making any real decisions.
“Little star, wake up,” a low voice says. It’s a familiar voice, a comforting one, a voice I love. Even though there’s heavy waters lapping at me, telling me to stay asleep where it’s warm and safe and easy, I crack an eye open.
I’m still lying on the couch on my side, but there’s a blanket pulled over me now, up to my shoulders. It’s dark in the bus, but my eyes are locked on Riggins, his face illuminated by a low light coming in through the window behind us.
“Riggins?”
“Hey, baby,” he whispers, then moves his hand, pushing my hair back. It feels good, like he’s pushing off the drowsiness and the sadness that was swallowing me whole. I turn my face into his hand, and he cups my cheek there.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. My eyes open a bit more, then my brows furrow in confusion, trying to remember, to understand…
We had a fight. Our first fight ever.
The memory wakes me up fully, the warmth of his hand unable to fight back the chill as I sit up. It all comes back. Talking to Evie, Riggs hearing, him yelling at me, telling me to go home. Beck and Reed coming, Beck storming out and Reed following…
It’s then I see it.
The giant shiner on Riggs’ eye.
“Oh, my god, Riggins?—”
“Looks worse than it feels, I promise,” he says with a smile. “Come on.” He holds his hand out for me to take.
“Riggins, we need to talk,” I say because we do. So badly. I shouldn’t have buried my concerns, but I should have talked to him about it sooner so he wouldn’t feel like I was ambushing him.
“I know, and we will. Just... come with me, Stell. Please.”
I’ve never been able to say no to him, not since we were five and he dared me to touch a frog in his backyard and I did it just because he gave me that look. Even then, I thought it was worth doing what he asked for that look, even if Evie totally tattled on me and got me in wild amounts of trouble for not beingladylike.
So I grab his hand, slide on a pair of shoes, and walk out of the bus with him. We’re in Colorado, parked outside a large hotel chain in the middle of nowhere. According to Don, the bus driver, we’re staying outside city limits both because it’s the cheapest option for the label and because even though they’re relatively new, the boys are getting popular. There’s less of a chance of being ambushed by fans here, which I’m super grateful for, all things considered.
