Page 18 of Worthy


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Swank nudges me before heading into the locker room, “Patricia is here. Do you still plan on talking to her?”

Normally, I would have noticed Patricia right away. However, this time, my attention was focused wholly on my family and Anna. When I saw what she was wearing, I wasn’t pleased at first. But then again, that’s probably why she wore what she did in the first place. I had to laugh and take it for the joke it was meant to be. At least, I hope it’s a joke.

“Yeah. I need to have security escort her down before my family arrives.” I flag one of the officers and ask him to bring Patricia to the tunnels and to notify me when they arrive. He agrees and leaves to fulfill my request.

I barely have my skates off when the officer pokes his head in the dressing room and waves me over. I take an extra minute to mentally prepare myself for the uncomfortable discussion that I’m about to have. Waiting in the corridor, wearing skintight leather pants and a halter top, my ex-wife looks like she’s ready to go to a nightclub rather than a hockey game. She’s dressed like all the other “puck-bunnies” that will undoubtedly be waiting by the exit, only a decade older and with a lot more plastic.

Not wanting my family to run into her, I don’t bother with formalities and get straight to the point. “Patricia, what are you doing here? You’ve been coming to our games since the beginning of the season, yet you haven’t approached me once. What are you playing at?”

She smiles coquettishly and rubs at her bare ring finger absentmindedly. I’m not sure she’s even aware that she’s doing it. “Aiden, I’m not playing any games with you. I’ve simply been waiting for you to come to me when you’re ready to talk.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Patricia. And if you don’t either, then I guess this conversation is over.” As I turn to head back and get changed, she grabs my arm to stop me.

“Aiden, I want to see Penny, but I didn’t know how to broach the subject. She’s my daughter, too, and I want to get to know her.”

Her sad and soft voice almost pulls at my heartstrings…almost. I would have fallen for it if I hadn’t been married to her for three years and knew what she was capable of. “Why now? It’s been five years since you left, and you haven’t even sent Penny a Christmas or birthday card. Do you really expect me to believe that you have had a change of heart and suddenly want to be a part of her life? Excuse me if I don’t believe you.”

“Aiden, I was young when I had Penny and not ready to be a mother. Being a parent was something you wanted, not me. At least not then.”

I scoff. “You were 28, Patricia, and you should have told me the truth when we talked about having kids. I would have understood if you had been honest with me.”

She laughs, and not in a kind way. “Are you serious? You wouldn’t have understood, Aiden. You wanted to be a father more than anything, yet you were hardly ever home to experience it. You were playing and always on the road while I had to stay home with Penny and listen to her cries all day long. I was the one who had to get up in the middle of the night and feed her, change her diaper, and play with her. No, you got to live both your dreams, hockey and fatherhood, while I had to give up mine. I left because I felt alone and depressed, not because I didn’t love you or Penny.”

“My mother would have helped you.”

A small tear escapes her eyes and trails down her cheek. “She tried, but there wasn’t anything she could do for what I had.”

I try to keep my emotions in check, but a woman crying always gets to me. She knows this, so I have to be careful around her in case she’s trying to play on my sympathies. “And what’s that? Postpartum depression? Because my mom offered to take you for treatment, and you refused. I tried to be there for you, and you pushed me away.”

“Not exactly. After I divorced Zach last year, I realized I had issues beyond that. I’ve been going to counseling lately and was recently diagnosed with Anhedonia.”

As I cross my arms and listen to her excuse for walking out on her family, I have to admit that I’m curious. “What is Anhedonia?”

“It’s a rare disorder associated with depression and means that I have trouble experiencing joy. I wasn’t unhappy with just you, Aiden. I was unhappy with everyone and everything. I’ve returned to Savannah because I want forgiveness and a second chance.” She doesn’t meet my eyes when she says this, which has always been one of her tells that she’s lying or hiding something.

“I forgave you a long time ago, Patricia. You can leave here knowing you have that, but a second chance with me is out of the question.”

She reaches out and places a hand on my chest, but her touch is cold, unlike Anna’s searing heat from this morning. The woman in front of me is calculated and devoid of any warmth. “I want a second chance to make things right with Penny. I want to get to know her. Can you at least give me that?”

I think about what I said to Swank and that I would never keep Penny from getting to know Patricia. “You can come over and have supervised visitation with Penny for an hour on Sunday after we get home from church.”

“Thank you, but why only an hour?” she asks, almost petulantly.

Her hand is still on my chest, so I gently remove it when I hear people coming down the corridor. The last thing I want is for anyone to get the wrong idea. “Because the team is coming over for a barbeque, and not all the players will be happy to see you. You get an hour to make your case to Penny before they arrive.”

She sneaks in and quickly kisses my cheek, smiling brightly like she just won the lottery. “Thank you, Aiden. I have a feeling that Penny and I will get along just fine. I mean, how hard can it be to talk to a six-year-old?”

I almost burst out in laughter because she clearly has no idea what our daughter is like. Instead, I keep my face blank, giving nothing away. Patricia is cunning, and my gut is telling me that she has an ulterior motive for being here—more like two billion motives.

“Sunday, one o’clock. Give your name to the man at the front gate, and he’ll let you in.” I turn to leave, avoiding the stares from my family that I’m sure are directed my way. Just before I enter the locker room, a niggling feeling causes the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. Waiting another few seconds, I take a few steps back to peek around the corner. I watch as Patricia leans in and whispers something to Anna and then to Penny.

I can’t tell what’s said, but Anna stays cool as a cucumber except for a fire that flashes in her eyes when Patricia smiles down at our daughter. I almost plan to go over there and say something, but Anna has positioned herself between my Penny and her mother in a protective way, taking a small step back on her right foot. It’s a fighting stance, and I get the feeling that Anna is more than capable of handling herself if push comes to shove.

I’m back in the locker room less than two minutes when Swank snaps a towel at me to get my attention. “Why does it look like you just stepped on a Lego? Was the conversation that painful?”

“I’ll tell you about it later, Swank. For now, I need a hot shower and some muscle rub. Then I have to go talk to the nanny about what constitutes appropriate apparel to wear to a game.” Stripping off my shirt, I groan in pain and have several bruises forming underneath my left ribcage.

He laughs, “I thought what she was wearing was absolutely perfect! She looked amazing!”

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