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“I promised I’d keep you safe.”
Chalisa let out a soft sigh that might have been filled with frustration. She grabbed his T-shirt, fisted it in her hands, and drew herself up onto tiptoes.
“Whoa.” Aiden hadn’t seen her this feisty.
“I want you to keep me safe,” she said fiercely.
“Ah, Chalisa.” Aiden wrapped his arms around her lower back and cradled her close.
She released his shirt and laid her head in the crook of his neck, sinking back onto her heels. His neck was quickly damp with her tears.
He was the biggest jerk he knew. Why couldn’t he have kept his distance this week? Now they were both in agony. He’d never in his life had a problem with his self-control. His dad had probably warned him so often to avoid relationships because he knew it would be his weakness. Chalisa was his weakness.
If she prayed for him, would his dad really send a sign from heaven that his vow could be altered to include her in his life? She’d talked about Reagan’s vow being fulfilled by their mom.
No. His vow was different. He was just scrambling in his mind because this hurt so much. He wasn’t going to break his promises.
Chalisa blinked up at him, her blue eyes sad and achingly beautiful. “I know you can’t be with me,” she said. “But I’ll keep praying that you’ll be safe and happy and someday, somehow, you’ll find your way back to me.”
He wanted to beg her to pray every spare moment, but that wasn’t right. “Chalisa.” He slid his hands up and cupped her smooth jawline. “Don’t waste your time praying over me. Move on. Find …” His voice cracked, and he had to clear it. He was eons from the smooth and charming Captain Aiden Porter. He didn’t care. He only cared about her. “Find someone who can be there for you and make you happy.”
There. He got it out. He remembered how he couldn’t even stand to watch Captain Jagger Lemuel flirt with her. How could he tell her to find someone else?
He didn’t know if she’d punch him, slap him, or just shove him away. Of course his sweet Chalisa did none of the above. He shook his head in wonder at how incredible she was.
“No,” she said softly. “Everlasting Love.” She lifted her necklace, then dropped it and wrapped her arms around him again. “I love you, Aiden. Only you. In the most special way a woman can ever love a man. You make me happy. You are the right one for me. No one else will ever do for me. I will pray and work long hours to help others and to pass the time. My service will be fulfilling, but if you never come for me …” Her voice cracked this time, and she broke off.
Aiden had no clue what to say, how to make any of this right. He selfishly bent his head and claimed her lips with his. The kiss was full of need, desperation, but also love. She clung to his upper back and kissed him like she’d been lost in the Sahara Desert and he was her first drink of cool water.
He loved her. Completely.
She broke from the kiss, let out the most heartbreaking sob, pivoted and typed in the code on her door, and then flung it open.
She flung it so hard it bounced back toward her. Aiden caught and held the door. He lifted her suitcase and bag inside, then eased back to hold the door and not be in her way.
Blinking up at him, she had tears rolling down her silken cheeks. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Could he?
No. He had to stay strong.
Since he hadn’t stayed strong at all the past week.
Protect, serve, fight for the innocent, others before self, and never let your guard down.
Giving up his selfish desires to protect others was all he knew how to do. But right now, letting Chalisa hurt felt like the most selfish and stupid move he’d ever made.
Chalisa slipped past him and into her living room. It was darker inside with the blinds drawn, and he couldn’t see her very clearly. He should release the door, but he couldn’t move.
“Goodbye, Aiden,” she whispered.
He didn’t repeat the goodbye. He tilted his chin up to acknowledge her words, but if he said one thing he’d probably cry or beg her to not give up on him. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t ask her to wait. But she’d volunteered to. Did that make it any better?
Stepping back, he forced himself to let the door go.
Turning and walking away was every bit as excruciating as he knew it would be. He’d raced across a cobblestone street yesterday with Chalisa riding on his back, and he’d soared. Right now, each step on the smooth concrete jarred him from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.
Nick waited outside the Navigator. “You okay?”
“No,” he admitted. He squinted back at her condo. It was still dim inside, but the blinds were up and her shape was in the window. She was watching him go. He swallowed and muttered, “Work out a schedule with our most qualified ops to keep watch over her. If you need more help, let me know.” And he’d race back here. No. He’d send other ops to help.
