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I decide to do the right thing and leave things alone… Just kidding; I roam.
Despite the immaculate decor, every room feels cold. I understand that this is a temporary home, but it’s so standard and bare. Cream walls, nature portraits, there is no personal personality here. Again, just like the pajamas, I am comparing home to home. I filled my small, eclectic home with second or third-hand items compared to his high-priced modern apartment. In the grand scheme of things, none of the materialistic things bother me. It’s where I fit into this picture.
Yesterday, he showed me more care and guidance than anyone I’ve ever encountered. I have been told “Just don’t go, and you won’t get upset,” or “Why bother if your brothers don’t go? Why put yourself through it, especially if she doesn’t know who you are?”
He sat and attempted to engage with my mom, even if the conversation was directed toward me.
Deciding that I’ve had enough snooping and need to get to work, I walk to the bedroom, where I make the rest of the bed. Attempting to make it as perfect as his side, I smooth my hand over the almost silk-like fabric of the sheets. I spot my clothes folded neatly on the chair in the corner of the room. Last night I did a roll fold to just keep them off his pristine floors. But now they are precisely folded and laying color-coded on the chair. My heart warms at the sight. No one has ever taken care of me the way he has.
Feeling a new sense of happiness, a sugary breakfast seems in order to balance out the extremely healthy meal he cooked last night. Wanting to make my brothers feel the way I do, I thought it would be nice to bring donuts and coffee. My body sings with praise on every bump my old truck hits. I skip onto the sidewalk and almost dance across the threshold of the bakery. I pick the most outrageous donuts I can find, and carefully make my way back to the shop. When I walk in, Leland is in the office with his back toward me. The door is closed, but his raised voice gives me some concern. He never speaks to people that way. Lawson is in the back, elbows deep in a Chevy Tahoe engine.
“Donuts and coffee in the kitchen,” I tell Lawson. I look back at the office. He seems stressed out more than normal. “What’s up with Leland?”
“Been on the phone with the lawyer all morning. By the way, what’s going on? Why did Victor text my woman about you? She dropped everything and took off yesterday.”
“She didn’t tell you?”
“No, and I didn’t push. What goes on between you two is between you two. But, are you okay?”
I bite my lip. Nervous about what he might say. “I saw Mom yesterday,”
“Oh, how is she?” He keeps his focus on the Chevrolet in front of him.
“She’s the same, as always. I took Victor with me.”
Lawson drops his wrench and his body snaps tall. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” Just by the annoyed tone in his voice, I can feel my frustration bubbling with the one-word question. He’s asked before, and it’s always ended in a fight. I don’t understand why he keeps asking. Then again, I haven’t given up on my mother.
“He’s not family. He isn’t staying around, so why bother?!” Lawson continues with the fucking comment. “Why bother?”
“What’s it to you, huh?”
“’Cause you are my sister, and she’s still my mom. She doesn’t remember you or any of us.” He throws his grease towel to the side. Lawson’s chest puffs out further when he rests his hands on his hips. He’s trying to portray an authoritative stance. A normal person might flinch or back away, but I’ve known this man since birth. No fuckin way is going to try to intimidate me.
“Where is this attitude coming from? Huh? Is it because I see mom for all of us, or is it because I took someone?” I ask.
“Both.” Lawson slaps his hands on his thighs before stepping closer to me. With two fingers, he taps the side of my head. “She isn’t there.”
Now I’m pissed. I smack his hand away from my face. “Touch my head like that again, and I’ll break your finger. Talk about how I spend time with our mother and who I take to meet her again, and I’ll knock you out.”
This constant fight has finally reached a breaking point. I’m so furious that I just throw my coffee at him. Turning on my heel, I step away from my brother.
“What the fuck? You’re my baby sister. I’m only looking out for you,” Lawson yells.
I turn to face my brother to really give him a piece of my mind when Leland’s door slams open. His heavy footsteps echo through the tiny garage.
“What the hell are you two going on about?” Leland’s raised voice surpasses both of ours. He leans his large body against the frame of the door.
“Collins is seeing Victor, and she took him to see Mom,” Lawson tattles, pointing his finger toward me.
“So?” Leland looks between us, confused.
“Are you serious?” The wind in Lawson’s sails falls dead when he realizes he doesn’t have big brother to back him up.
“Are you this daft, Lawson?” Leland asks.
“Y’all are out of it!” Lawson shakes his head.
