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“Mmm,” I nod. “Do you mind taking me home?” I whisper.
“Sure.” He looks at me, perplexed at the sudden shift of energy. Excitement and hope have dulled at Massey’s words. Words that doused any flame I held.
Lawson drives me home and I feel so defeated. I sulk up to my house and head in the door. I’ve been doing a lot of firsts lately, and tonight for the first time, I lock all the doors, close all the windows, and pull the shades. I shower and put on his fancy pajamas that he left behind. Climbing into bed, I pull the covers over my head and try to let the proverbial ocean swallow my heart.
He left …
Chapter 20
Collins
Days…
I’ve spent days locked up in my house. Not one door opened, not one window cracked. I couldn’t stand the clean ocean air that begs to wash away the pain. It reminds me of the days and nights spent with a man who made me smile an actual smile. Running through the soft sand and jumping in the crashing waves, all to end up in the outdoor shower. Surrounded by mother nature and not another soul in sight. I bared my soul. He made me live without worry or shame of where I came from.
I’ve ignored calls, texts, and drop-ins from everyone. I didn’t even look at my phone.
After a week, I decided to face the world. Seems inspiring, but it’s not.
Opening my phone reveals a multitude of voicemails, texts, messages, and notifications. I send a text to my group chat to say I’m okay and that I’ll reach out later. I get a quick text back from my brothers reaming me for closing everyone out. A text from Massey saying there is a town meeting tomorrow, not just about our property, but where the shop sits and the other businesses around us. Is it sad to know when our time is up, we won’t be alone? Although some of the business owners live above their shop or outback, like Leland. They will be homeless. So, I can’t complain since I have this place.
Victor has been texting and calling, asking me to call him. I’m not ready to deal with that yet.
I text Massey:
Super secret spot.
And she gives me a thumbs-up response. I gather my items and head outside. Ocean water therapy is what I need right now.
She is already at our spot, waiting. “You are alive!”
“I am.” There is no hiding my sadness.
“Are you okay?” Her worrisome tone warms my heart. Even after putting my foot in my mouth, she still shows up. Unwavering loyalty.
I can’t even properly lie about this. “No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, Lawson told me. I’m not sure if that was alright or not. We just worry about you,” she says with hesitation.
We are both are in uncharted territory with our relationships. She being with my brother and worried about crossing the line for our friendship. And me, finally opening my heart and life to a man.
“A few drop-ins and then we can talk about everything?” I swallow down the anxiety that is overtaking every nerve in my body.
“Let’s go.” She grips my forearm and gives it a soft squeeze.
She interlocks our pinkies, as we always do, only this time no words are spoken. And, instead of rushing the waves, we slowly walk until it’s deep enough to throw our boards into the surf and paddle through.
Massey paddles further out to give me some space, but is still close enough in case I completely crumble. Out past the reef, a wicked wave comes up, white peaks and clear overhead. I paddle as hard as I can and drop in. Every sprinkle of water hitting my skin is like a bullet to my anxiety. Surfing always provides me with absolute focus. Forcing me to keep my attention on one thing distracts me from the troubles of the world.
After a few drops, my mind exhausted and body worn, I’m ready to talk. Padding toward Massey and find a spot to sit and wait for her to finish. When she catches a glimpse of me, she swiftly paddles over.
“Give it to me.” She waves her hands.
“Where do I even start?” I shake my head. “Lawson and I had a sincere heart-to-heart.”
“Surprised you, huh?” She laughs.
I join her in giggles. “Yeah, it did!”
