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I rub my hand over my face. “I have no idea, to be honest.” I try to get the right words, but there are no right words for this. “I think I have feelings for Koda.” I close my eyes the minute I say the words. At the same time, my stomach falls to my feet. Thinking this and saying it are two different things.
“I’m sorry.” I can hear his confusion. “What did you just say?”
“I know. I know.” My head goes back before I put my hand on my head.
“Did you just say what I think you said?” he asks, his voice in a whisper like if he whispers, no one else can hear it.
“You think I want this?” I snap, frustration in my voice.
“Christopher,” he says my name, and I’m not sure if it’s a warning or a what the fuck. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that she’s a great fucking mom. I’m thinking that Benji is” I start to say but correct myself, “was a stupid fuck for everything he put her through. I think that she’s kind and she’s sweet and she’s so…” I stop before I say she’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever met in my life.
“You think you are falling for her, or you have already fallen for her?” He laughs. “Because the way it sounds, you are already half in love with Koda.”
“Jesus Christ, Stone,” I hiss, “who is next to you?”
“Um, my wife, but I’ve paid her five dollars so everything I say near or around her is like an NDA type of thing.”
“You are so dumb.” I shake my head.
“Don’t listen to him,” Ryleigh says. Then I hear the ringing coming and see it’s a FaceTime alert.
I press the button, and they come onto the screen. Both of them are in bed, same as me. “I won’t say anything because I don’t have a big mouth. Him, on the other hand.” She points at Stone. “Like The Gazette.” He gasps while I laugh. “So you like Koda?”
“You can say that,” I admit to her, “but it’s wrong.”
“Why?” she asks, and Stone just looks at her with his mouth hanging low.
“That’s his best friend’s girl,” Stone explains.
“But he’s not here.” She points at him. “So is it even an issue?”
“You bet your ass it’s a fucking issue,” Stone snaps. “She’s off-limits.”
“Why?” Ryleigh asks him. “Benji is dead. It’s not like he’s on vacation or in jail. He’s literally gone, never coming back. She’s going to end up getting with someone. So it might as well be someone who is a semi-decent guy.”
“Semi?” I say, insulted. “What the fuck? Why semi?”
“I mean, you are still going for your best friend’s girl.” She shrugs. “Other than that, you are a decent guy.”
“Um, thanks,” I say, not sure what the fuck is going on.
“Are you saying that if I die, you are going to get with my best friend?” Stone asks her, and Ryleigh looks around, moving her head side to side like she’s going through his friend list in her head, making Stone’s face look like it’s about to explode.
“If I had to, I guess there are a couple I could possibly, maybe, go for,” she decides, then looks at the camera. “You aren’t on that list.”
“I’m hurt,” I reply, putting my hand to my chest. “Before he has a coronary”—I point at Stone—“can we focus on one problem at a time?”
“Yes, let’s,” Ryleigh agrees.
“We are going to have words later.” Stone glares at her. “And you better get your pen and paper out because I want a contract drawn up and notarized.” Ryleigh laughs at him.
“What are you going to do if I don’t follow it after you’re dead?” Ryleigh crosses her arms over her chest. “Come back and haunt me?”
“You bet your ass.” Stone doesn’t even take a second to think about it.
“Can we get back to Christopher, please?” Ryleigh redirects. “Listen, bottom line, you are both free to do what you want. She has nothing holding her back, and neither do you. The question is, will you be able to get past the fact that she was Benji’s first?”
