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“I’m pretty sure I’ve one thousand percent fallen for her,” I confess to him. “It’s so fucked up, I know. She’s Benji’s wife.”
“She’s not anyone’s wife,” he points out. “He’s not here.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean, but I also need you to see what I mean.” He doesn’t give me a chance. “If Benji was still here and he was married to her, would you be falling for her?”
“Probably not,” I say, shaking my head. “I would never cross that line. She’s a beautiful woman with a heart of gold, and I’ve always thought that, but I also knew she was off-limits.”
“Exactly.”
“But…” I sigh.
“But nothing.” His voice is soft again. “You don’t get to choose who you love”—I close my eyes—“or who you fall for. Look at your mom. I knew without a doubt I should have stayed away from her, but I also knew that it would have killed me to do that. I also knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way I would ever love someone the way I love her.” He trails off. “But, son, it’s not just her you have to think about.”
“I love those girls like they were my own. That is for damn sure.”
“Okay, so I don’t know what the hang-up is.”
“Dad, he died seven months ago.”
“Is there a rule book that says when it’s a right time to fall for someone?” He laughs at his own joke while I roll my eyes. “If this happened two years from now, would that be better?”
“Yes,” I reply, but then I think about her maybe falling for someone else in those two years, and I feel like I’m going to be physically sick. “No. I don’t know.”
“What does she have to say about all of this? Surely, this isn’t coming out of the blue.”
“I might have fucked up.”
“You might have?” He laughs. “Well, now I know why you sucked so bad on the ice. What happened?” he asks. I leave out the whole going down on her in public because he’s still my dad, and it’s awkward, but I definitely tell him about not going into the house.
“Shit,” he says. “I mean, I get it. I don’t think I would have been able to do that, but did you talk to her before that?”
“Dad, I just admitted to you for the first time that I’m falling for her. You think I’ve admitted it to her? What if she thinks I’m a creep?”
“If she thought you were a creep, she wouldn’t stick her tongue down your throat.” I groan. “You need to put your big-boy pants on and have a conversation with her. She needs to know what you are comfortable with, just like you need to know what she’s comfortable with. Nothing will be solved if you run away from her.”
“I’m not running away. I was away for work.”
“Did you call or text her?”
“I was giving her space.”
“You were being a scared punk-ass bitch.” He doesn’t skip one single beat. “And then you took it onto the ice and let your team down.”
“This pep talk is amazing, Dad. We should really do this more.”
“Just keeping it real, son.” He laughs. “Now I’m going to let you go so you can call her and talk to her. I’m also coming down there this weekend.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I’ll give you until next weekend, and then I’m coming down.”
“Fine.” I sigh. “I’m going to let you go.”
“Talk to her and not in a punk-ass-bitch way. In a way that is actually communicating.”
“Again, Dad, you really should do motivational speaking.” I chuckle. “Love you,” I say, hanging up. Then I take a big breath before pulling up her number and calling her.
