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Prologue
BELLAMY
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Stop right there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Let me explain this shit sanely… Sanely, is that a word? Whatever. It is today. I know what you’re thinking. You want me to hurry the fuck up and get to the meat and potatoes of my story time? And to that, I say don’t worry, bish, I’m getting to it, and it’s going to be good.
Okay, okay… let's get to the good part.
Waaa wa wa waaaaaa!
Getting to the point of how this is my life. And why I won’t calm my shit until I get the answers I need. Okay, maybe I’ve been touchy lately…loopy and all over the damn place. But excitement, dread, and frustration have been my constant moods. And now you’re confused. Hard sigh.
Okay, let me explain this nonsense.
Here’s the thing. Mom knows who my father is, obviously. If she didn’t, well… that would be a different conversation. Not a bad one, just… different. Hennyways, since she’s always known who and where he is, she’s kept an eye on him. It's a bit stalkery for my liking, but if she likes it, I love it. We don’t judge in this household.
The problem with her stalkerish behavior is that she’s kept Blaze, my twin brother, and me in the dark, lying to us our entire lives, which is not cool. And boy did Blaze and I let her have it. That conversation was when Blaze and I discovered she only came clean because she needed my team's help. Our task is to clean up a two-decade-old fuck up. In one of her check-ins with her secret squirrel club, our mother dearest received intel about a douchebag mafia heir and the fuckery he’s been getting up to. That information led her to involve me in this secret squirrel mission.
Since receiving the assignment, my team has been digging into places she would much rather we didn’t. And oh boy, has she hidden a lot, which has had my ass itching after uncovering the truth of what she’s kept from us.
After we uncovered the information about the mafia douche, I recognized why my mother was so touchy about the situation, which had me asking the hard questions. Naturally, those questions came with more revelations than she was ready to divulge, which was too bad for the little liar, liar pants on fire, because neither Blaze nor I were going to let her off the hook. Our relentlessness had her coming clean about our sperm donor and the life he led, which wasn’t much different from our own.
Watching our mother explain her past has sent Blaze’s protective instincts over the edge. The emotions he exuded almost crippled us both. We’ve always known things weren’t cut and dry regarding our sperm donor, but to hear the words. To understand what transpired was a little too much to take in logically and without wanting to rip someone's throat out, which is why Blaze has been walking around like a bull in a china shop. The boy is big mad.
Getting to the nitty gritty of it all. We found out that things weren’t simple between our parents. According to our mother, choices had to be made with no real time to think them through. She claims she understood our father's choices and why he made them. Despite him knowing she was pregnant. As she tells it, his reasoning for leaving her high and dry was his lifestyle and that it was too dangerous for us, so they separated amicably. My mother was left to raise us without him. No cards, no calls, no Christmas, and no birthdays. It was just the family and us against the world. Literally. Andwhen I tell you my brother doesn’t agree with either of their decision-making skills, that’s an understatement.
But I get it. I do. That time in her life was tragically painful. She wanted to let it go, forget, and focus on raising Blaze and me. And mostly, she did that. But from hearing her talk about that time with our sperm donor, I think our mother still holds a lit candle for the baby abandoner. The way she speaks of him makes it obvious. I’ve always known, or at least felt, a certain amount of longing in her while we were growing up. It wasn’t much, and when we asked about our dad, she quickly changed the subject. But, even then, with the limited knowledge of my mother and father's relationship, I know this to be true. My mother still loves him.
I’ve had a hard time with the claim that his lifestyle was why he wasn’t a part of our lives. I called bullshit on that and said as much to my mother. How can his lifestyle be too dangerous for us? As if we weren’t trained to be killers? Like we weren’t raised in the underbelly of society. Make it make sense? You can’t, and that is precisely my point. None of it makes sense, hence the questions that have had my ass itching. Because something ain’t smelling right. When the thread pulled, I went to work. Researching Daddy Dearest was enlightening. One, because it’s my job, and two, I’m nosy.
In my research, I found he has or had a wife or an ol’ lady. A term used by bikers for the women they claim. Daddio married her when my mom was pregnant with Blaze and me. He stayed married to her for quite some time, only divorcing a few years ago. During their marriage, they had a few spawns. Two sons and a daughter. I could only get so far in my research before having to turn to my brother, who was not an enthusiastic participant. Blaze, meticulous in his research, had to dig deeper than usual to find everything worth finding. When Blaze is on a mission, he is a bloodhound and will find anything and everything, including all the hidden bits. And there were a lot of hidden and manipulated bits. Thanks, Mom. The annoyance at our mother for burying so much information so damn deep was irritating to both of us.
Blaze is a freak of nature, and I’m thankful he’s on my side. I’m pretty good at researching and finding surface-level shit. Blaze is a genius with a keyboard who can find even the most obscure information. Being the kind but reluctant brother he is. He indulged my curiosity. Blaze discovered that Daddio’s eldest of the non-bastards is two months older than us. The other two, like Blaze and I, are twins and are two years younger; you get the picture. And what a picture it is. I’m not judging, but damn, man, you couldn’t wrap it up. And what is it about him making twins? That shit better not be genetic, because my lady bits are not prepared and shrivel up at the thought of that nonsense.
Our research painted the picture that Daddio was a rolling stone, and our mother missed some pretty critical facts in the story she wove for my brother and me. He has treated the kids he raised like fucking royalty. They were and are his goddamned everything. He was at every significant event in their lives. To see the truth of who our father is and what he did for them is fury-inducing. Being a glutton for punishment, I wanted to know… No! I needed to see if he ever looked for us, and he never once did. I should hate him. I should say fuck this job. But something in me says I can’t. Knows I can’t.
After our discovery, she had no choice but to tell us everything she held back. I wasn’t having any stones left unturned. I needed to know everything, even the painful bits. And cornering her was the only way to get it out of her. What I found to be very interesting is that, Mister, “I don’t want my baby to be raised in this life. You're too weak to deal with this lifestyle.” Had no issues and no problem claiming and marrying that woman and raising their kids to be a part of his biker family. It didn’t take long for me to come to the conclusion that maybe he didn’t want us. At least, that’s how I feel. Logically, I know there is more to it than that. As the child in the situation, I still think it’s fucked up. This whole situation is fucking insane. And I know that even though my mother claims she’s told me everything, the lie detector determines that it’s a bold-faced ass lie.
Blaze and my team consider my need for a deep dive into every aspect of the sperm donor's life going overboard. I’ve received side eyes and eye rolls from my them because of the resources I’ve used. My excuse for it is simple. I need the information because it’s critical to our mission. No one can say a damn thing about me being prepared to do my job because this research is just that–me doing my job.
Another thing my brother graciously informed me of while I was being a stalker, as Sin lovingly calls me. Daddio is not just a member of a one percenter motorcycle club, but the mother fucking national president. And not only that, but they are a club deep in illegal shit, although the word on the street is they are working toward legitimacy. That’s not even the actual issue. The issue they have that can bring their club to war isn’t even one they know, which is where we come in.
Learning about our actual target is my least favorite part of this. She isn’t shy about sharing more than she should on social media once we figured out who and what we were looking for. I was floored. Paisley, the MC princess and my apparent half-sister, is an idiot, especially with her need to over-share, which includes sharing her location. She documents everything everywhere she goes. Sin says she does it because she’s a, and I quote, bad girl biker influencer or some dumb shit like that. I don’t much care. But from what was explained to me, it’s a real thing. To have shit strategically placed in her photos makes her money, and people love that shit.
My sister from another miss is a beautiful girl. I’ll give her that. Princess is living her best life, and I don’t begrudge her for that. But I can tell that she and I are complete and utter opposites in all ways. She’s tall, blonde, skinny, and very clears throat, melanin deficient. And she's perky, too damn perky.
You’d think with the club's lifestyle and their illegal dealings, they’d stop letting the club's Princess photograph everything everywhere she goes. I’ve tracked her movements and some of the club's major players because of her. I’ve even gotten a good look at the clubhouse layout and grounds. It may not be a big deal to some, but with the gravity of this situation, it’s a big damn deal to have that much access. With everything she shares, I’m damned surprised she doesn’t share when she takes a shit.
From what I can tell, they don't seem worried about or care what anyone thinks about them or their lifestyle. And if I’m honest, it is why they need us. That girl will put herself and her father's club in a situation by unknowingly providing information to enemies she and the club may not be prepared for.
With everything in hand, I’m ready. Ready to meet the man who is my father. Am I nervous? Yes. Who wouldn’t be under the circumstances? My mind continues going a million miles a minute. Even after my call with my sister from another mister Gabriella. Gabby is my best friend, my rock outside my mother and team. We’ve been through some shit together. And have lived a thousand lives and have always been one another’s sounding board. So having her in my life, especially now, is priceless. I know for a fact that she understands where I’m coming from. As a mother, she gets my need to know my sperm donor. She also understands what my mother has gone through raising my brother and me. And it also doesn’t hurt that she has ties to the club, just a different chapter. A chapter that is beholden to my sperm donors, which is a recent development. Now, she and I are connected in more ways than one. Her situation is like my mother’s, but that is not my story to tell.
I know I can’t walk in there like I own shit and demand answers. As I explained to Gabby, things will not be easy because of what I know through my research. My sperm donor and the club may make my ability to do my job difficult, mainly because of her–our target. Gabby said that I need to make it clear that my team is the only option they have to get through this without starting a war. She isn’t wrong, but my team, for all intents and purposes, isn’t captain save a hoe. They will have to work with us, even if they don’t like it. After speaking to Gabriella and hearing her perspective and advice, I calmed down and saw reason. She made me see some choices are difficult. Sometimes, life’s not cut and dry or black and white. Life is messy. Hearing that made me understand my parents–a little.
Like it or not, I’m the estranged daughter of the President of the Mother Chapter of Lucifer’s Saints MC, and I will be the one to save their asses. Well, with the help of my team, the organization, and my mother.
What better way to get to know him and his brood than to spend a little time with his family? And preventing the wrong people from getting the upper hand.
