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Till death do us part.
CHAPTER 5
VALERIAN
It’s been two days, and she has done nothing but sit in her room. Mabel brings her food three times a day, but the stubborn woman only turns the platters of food away. She hasn’t explored the mansion or the rose garden just beyond her windows. It’s why I insisted she have the Queen’s suite. The gardens are for her. Why hasn’t she explored her new home?
Because of you. The voice in my head goes off with the truth. I hurt her, and she feels unwanted. I need to correct that, but how without getting pulled into her orbit where I lose control? Wanting her the way I do will only lead to misery for her. Once she learns I’m the beast everyone calls me, she will regret letting me touch her.
I should have killed her father and walked away. Why the hell did I ever fall into those pretty green eyes and let her talk me into accepting her soul in place of her father’s?
Because she makes me weak with hope every time I look at her, is why. I meant every word I told her. I lose all my good sense in her presence and a man in my position can’t afford to be weak. People get killed when that happens.
I watch my rose through the security system. It makes me a bastard to invade her privacy but I don’t give a shit. Every property I own is loaded with cameras. I’m known as the king of paranoia, but the people under my care are safe because of it. That matters to me.
I pinch the screen of my cell phone and zoom in. Mabel has left yet another tray of food for her on the side table, but Bella has left it untouched. She sits with her legs crossed on the window seat as she looks out over the gardens below. Sunlight plays through the thick waves of her hair. What I wouldn’t give to be sitting next to her right now. I would pull all that red silk away from her face and kiss her neck, her cheeks and her lips until she forgave me for being the asshole I am.
I turn the volume up on my phone and hold the speaker close to my ear only to be gutted by what I hear. I started out life at the knee of a born killer. He trained me to ignore my emotions and feelings. But hearing Bella cry erases everything my father beat into me and she makes me feel every nerve ending in my body at the sound of her tears. Good or bad, her quiet sobs lure the blackness from the depths of my soul and she makes me want to be a better man for her sake.
Another tiny whimper has me almost forgetting about what I have to do tonight so that I can ease her pain.
Christ. I need to focus.
Acid mixes with blood in my veins. I should be there with her, but business keeps me away. The night I accepted her deal I swore she would never shed another tear under my care.
Here I’ve already broken that promise.
I left her a new cell phone with the capabilities to only call me. I’ve waited every minute since placing that phone in her room for a call, but there’s only been silence in return. I can’t blame her. I admit though, I expected an angry “fuck you” and a swift hang up.
But no. I’m learning my sweet Bella rather make me suffer with her silence. I crack a smile. The woman takes stubbornness to a whole other level. I pivot the camera to where I placed the phone and sure enough it’s in the same place I left it while she slept the other night. She didn’t even bother to crumple up the note I left behind to call me if she needed anything.
She wipes at a tear that leaves me gritting my teeth in frustration. I kill the live feed to her room and pull her name up on my phone. My thumb hovers over the call button.
I scrape a hand down my face. What the hell am I doing? She is so young. And alone. I know the feeling. I’m excellent at reading people and Bella is a sad soul.
I should set her free. Raven could pick up a plane ticket, and she could be in London in a handful of hours.
I pull the feed back up to find her standing from the window seat. The sun is setting and before long the moon will be out. Does she like daytime walks or does she prefer the night? I have a million questions to ask her.
My screen fills with the view of her shedding her clothes. First her shirt and then a pair of sweatpants Mabel provided her with my instructions. She’s done crying and a gut feeling tells me I should worry more about her exchanging her tears for a pair of running shoes.
How long before she tries to test my rules? Would I chase her if she tried to get away? Without a fucking doubt.
My thoughts and emotions are shredding my nerves until the ends feel like they are on fire. For the first time in my life I can’t decide what to do. Let her go?
I’d be a better man for it. I know it. But my demons have a louder voice and I’m, by design, a selfish man.
She gave herself to me and that makes her mine. I watch her undress like a fucking monster. I can’t force myself to look away from her pure beauty. She’s everything I am not. Gentle. Kind and so damn beautiful it physically hurts to be away from her. I’ll dirty her the second I touch her again, but I can’t help myself. I need to have the feel of her warmth under my hands.
I pull up my messages and tap the number to her new cellphone.
Will you have dinner with me tonight?
I pause and then add in:
Please.
Jesus H. Christ.
