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He gestures to his scars and then to himself as a whole. His words fill with the weight of loss and ruin. I didn’t think one could live with the other as an emotion, but his words are heavy and I can feel to my soul the destruction in his words.
I stay quiet where I sit and listen to him talk about his brother. I rather throw my arms around him and cry for him, but giving him my full attention is what I think he needs most. I hope. I have so much to learn about this man.
“Until you. When you touch me I feel like a light switch flicks on and I can see where I’m going again.”
He lifts our connected hands to his lips and presses a warm kiss to the palms of both my hands.
“Where is he now?”
“There’s more you need to know. Darrion is the reason you are here.”
My brows pinch with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“The De La Rosa family has deep roots in the city. When my father was alive, he singled me out as the next in line to take the helm once he stepped down and my brother, only a year younger than me, couldn’t understand why. My father saw him as a wild card while I sayed in reality. He liked to gamble away any money that crossed his hands while I invested.”
“When did things turn for the worse?”
“Years of my father telling him he was nothing and never would be, left my brother scarred. I tried to tell him the old man would pass and just to keep his head down. Once I took over things would be different. He didn’t want to listen.”
“Your father played favorites.”
Valerian strokes the back of my hand as he talks. His eyes find a spot on the ceiling as he continues.
“He did and made it known I was his favorite. When he died, Darrion swore he would take over. He tried. A war ensued, and I came out the victor. But it cost me.”
“A brother.”
“More. Our sister and mother, too. And because of that my humanity died for a while.” His eyes fall from the ceiling and land on me. “Until you entered my life I had no hope of ever crawling out of the darkness.”
I can’t swallow the knot of emotions swelling inside me for several long moments. I stare into his eyes and fuse all my love in my gaze.
“He… killed them?” My voice cracks with disbelief.
Valerian nods. “A car bomb. I tried everything I could do to save them, but I wasn’t fast enough.”
Hence the scars. What a terrible horror to live with. I try not to cry, but I can’t stop the painful tears from falling.
“I’m so sorry, Valerian. I’m so sorry.”
He strokes the pad of his thumb over my cheek and gathers a falling tear. “It’s been years now, Bella. I found solace at the bottom of a bottle and used my drunken nights in the ring. I fought anyone and everyone. After a while I stopped drinking, but kept up the illegal matches. They make good money and it was a way to keep tabs on my enemies. Not just my brother. Kincaid took care of all the details, I paid him handsomely for his loyalty too. Until he turned.”
The mention of my father burns a hole into my chest. Holding Valerian’s hand, I drag my fingers over the fight scars littered across his knuckles. Little by little, I’ve pieced together everything that happened between Valerian and my father.
“At first I couldn’t understand why my father would turn on you, but in the end the embarrassing truth is greed. He wanted more money. Darrion used my father’s weakness against him in order to take you down.”
“He did. We all have our vices. Your father’s is money.”
I’ve known since I knew right from wrong. I’ve watched my father make the wrong decisions my whole life. But I also have no right to judge him “Where is he now?”
“Your father or Darrion?”
“Your brother.”
“Dead.”
A wall of shock smacks into me head on.
Silence.
