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I gesture to the fourth. “Who is in the fresh grave, Valerian?”
A heavy feeling pools in my stomach. I think I know why we are out here now.
Shadows pull across his face, hiding his eyes from me. But the way his lips stretch into a tight white line tells me I already know the answer without seeing the headstone.
“It’s your brother, isn’t it?”
“I wish I could say no, but I will never lie to you.” He spreads his hands out on either side of him and steps back from me. “You need to see who I am. He left me no choice, Bella. I had my men hunt him down. I knew I either took control and tried to keep him from declaring war on me or kill him. There was no other way. Too many innocent lives would pay for his blood thirst and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to protect you and the people of this city.”
My stomach bottoms out and I suddenly feel so sick I can’t stand anymore. Only sheer will power keeps me on my feet when I look Valerian in the eyes. “All this time you were away, you were fighting with your brother?”
“I hunted him down like an animal. He knew he crossed a line pulling my best enforcer into his schemes to overthrow me. I had every intention of roughing him up, but I would have let him live. Then I received this.”
He pulls a white envelope from his back pocket and unfolds it, pulling out something before passing it to me.
I hold a picture up in the full light of the moon to see my face through the window of my suite.
Ice seeps into my blood. “He was here? On these grounds?” What a dick move.
Valerian flicks the edge of a folded paper. “The note he sent with it told me I had three days to hand over my territory or my new wife would be the next person to pay the price.”
“But we are not married.” I want to be angry at having my privacy invaded, but I really think there are bigger issues to focus on. Like how his brother had access to me and this piece of property which leads me to fear who else might?
“Reality and then what Darrion had going on in his head rarely coincided.”
“And you found him.” I look to the grave. A man lies under six feet of dirt because of me and what my father has become—money hungry.
“I’m so sorry, Valerian. I am so sorry.” My chest heaves and I can’t seem to catch my breath. Tears freely fall down my cheeks and guilt drags its claws through my insides, wrecking me. “I am so sorry I caused all this chaos and pain.”
He closes the distance between us and forces my eyes off his brother’s grave and to him instead. His fingertips wrap around my arms and he tucks me under his chest. I breathe in the scent of soap and a lingering hint of sandalwood. He’s my calm. My peace, but the cost was too high.
“None of this is your fault or your father’s. My brother and I had our issues long before you were even born. We both knew it would come to this some day.”
“Why are you telling me all this? You could have easily hidden the truth from me.”
“Because I need you to know the real me. There will never be lies or falsehoods between us. I have blood on my hands and there is no changing that about me. I’m nothing but an animal. A monster who has taken lives and I know I will again.”
I grab his hands and lock our fingers together. “I see you Valerian, De La Rosa. I’ve seen animals and monsters. You are not one of them. You are protective to the death if need be, but you are not a monster.”
I drop my head back to his chest and we stand fused together for several long moments. I listen to the rapid thump of his broken heart. I heard his words, but I can’t help but feel like my family had a hand in Darrion’s death. Not directly, but the lightest of touches can serve like a butterfly's wings in the air. Not felt, but the effect is still there.
Valerian pulls back and his touch falls away from me. “And while I am being honest with you, I want you to know I hunted your father. At first I wanted to end his life so he could never steal you away. And then I realized to truly love you would be to set you free. I have no right to end him. He was trying to do the best he could for you and for that I can never fault the man no matter the crimes against me. When I find him, I will let him know his debt is paid.”
He sounds haunted, broken.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to make sense of everything. War. Blood. Loss. Love. Pain. Betrayal and… love. I come back to that word and the emotions glued to it. It can drive a person mad. Darrion is proof of that. He wanted his father’s love and never got it. Now he’s dead and forever buried next to the man who saw no value in a second son.
Valerian killed to protect his love for me. Of that I have zero doubt And my dad betrayed his long-time boss because he lost the woman he loved and gave up on caring.
I don’t want that to be me. Or us.
“Does that mean I am free to go?”
Valerian lifts his face to mine and watches me intently. Blue eyes shatter from the amount of emotion shooting the crack of ice in his gaze.
Unlike the furious beast I first meet, my kingpin leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips.
“You taught me how to be human again. You are free to go. It’s the only true way I can show you the depths of my gratitude. I love you, Bella De La Rosa. We may never be married but in my heart of hearts for the short time you were mine, I gave you my name.”
