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"Knight will never get that far," he dismissed me. "Now," grabbing my wrist, he turned my arm so that my palm faced upwards, "let's not waste another second." The feather glided over my skin, gentle as it moved across my hand and wrist. Up to the crook of my arm.
"No," I begged, as the tingling sensation grew into a burn. "Please."
Manuel's fingers tightened around my wrist. "Don't be such a child, Tatiana."
It didn't take long before the prickling pain escalated into an inferno as the powder sank into my skin.
"Please!" I cried, squeezing my eyes shut to stave off the pain as it ran up my arm and into my shoulder. "Please!"
"Funny," Manuel murmured, the feather hovering near my skin. "That's exactly what my father said," he hissed, his jaw flexing with anger, "when Abuelo put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, right in front of me." He trailed the feather across my shoulder, shaking his head. "And Knight did nothing but stand there and watch as Abuelo murdered my father, even when he pleaded for his life." Manuel let my hand go, then leaned down to me, his eyes cold and hard in the darkness of the room. "Didn't he know he was mine to kill?" He thumped his chest with a fist, speaking in a low growl. "Mine."
The feather descended again and the powdery substance clung to my skin, intensifying the burning sensation that thundered over my other shoulder, up my neck and chest.
He paid particular attention to the spaces between my fingers, the skin where my fingers met my nails, all the tiny little cracks and crevices of my body, down to my toes. Anywhere that was bare, he tortured me, my screams and cries doing nothing to soften his hard heart.
I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt like an eternity as he caressed my skin with something so light, it was barely heavier than air, but imbibed with something so dangerous, so painful, that it felt like my skin was on fire.
I was burning alive.
My screaming drowned out the sounds of gunfire from outside, Manuel's deep laugh, and the pounding of my own heart.
As wave after wave of panic and nausea rolled over me, nearly choking me to death, I screamed not only for my own pain and agony, but for the younger me, who'd only wanted someone to love her.
To stay, for her.
I struggled for air as the darkness threatened to consume me completely. Tears coursed down my face, but I sucked in large, sobbing breaths, clamping my mouth shut, determined to take control over the situation.
I had worked so hard to become a new person.
A person determined not to be crippled by the past.
And I knew I was no longer that girl, scared and powerless. I'd changed, grown, trained.
Worked my ass off to become who I was now.
And not because of Knight or Rook or my parents or anyone else.
It was because of me.
I'd done that.
I'd done everything possible to stop myself from living under the control of another again.
Including the very poison Manuel had used against me, so many years ago.
The touch of the feather on my skin stopped and I took in deep, choking breaths. My face and clothes were drenched with my sweat and tears. My heart was still pounding so loud, it shook my insides out.
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Then, letting my rage take over, I opened them again, determination filling me.
I refused to be dragged back into his darkness.
To let my fears become my master.
I was capable of more than I ever dreamed of.
I wasn't that same little girl, scared and powerless.
I was Tatiana Krapivnik, and I wasn't going to let him control me anymore.
