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She couldn’t even imagine the horrors he’d endured before the funeral. The trauma of the ceremony would haunt Ash for the rest of her long life, and she wasn’t connected to any of the fallen. The smallest casket was seared into her mind, but Luca had known and loved them all. His loss was immeasurable.
When Luca finally pulled away, his eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked dazed and ashamed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost it. I shouldn’t be so weak.”
Fury welled up within her, but she tamped it down. Her ire was best aimed at its true target, but he was dead. Nikoli must have discouraged shows of emotion for his son to think his behavior was “losing it.” Luca had just cried silently after losing two dozen family members and hundreds of subjects.
Ash growled, “I don’t fucking think so,” and laid a gentle hand on his cheek. “You are many things, Luca, but weak sure as all the hells isn’t one of them. You are allowed to feel, and it would be a major red flag if you weren’t devasted. You’re only human…or, um, Therian.
“My point is, you don’t have to hide anything from me, Luca. I will always be your safe place, your sounding board, and the one person with whom you can be yourself. Not the king or the dragon or the professor, just you.”
She went up on her toes to press a soft kiss to his lips, then looked into his eyes. “You are a good man, and I love you beyond words, but I will do something drastic if you continue to equate humanity with weakness.”
He mustered a sad grin. “Is that so? What are you going to do, little vampire?”
Ash chuckled. “I have all kinds of fun powers we can put to interesting uses, but I won’t experiment here. I don’t want to scare our people with my freaky red eyes. Me being here is bad enough for some of them.”
Luca’s mental alarms rang. “Did something happen?”
Ash shook her head. “I kept to myself, and Viktorija is a very effective deterrent, but I heard some things. I know that there’s a rogue faction. We expected to meet resistance, so it’s not a surprise. I just see no reason to push them now when it serves no purpose.”
Luca pulled her close. “I’m sorry we won’t have very long together.”
Ash grinned at him. “Under the circumstances, getting any time is astonishing. I will happily take twelve hours alone with you. I only wish it didn’t take you away from your family and your duties. It feels…”
“Selfish? I don’t think so, but even with the bond working badly, I can see your thoughts on your face.” His smile was so full of love that it stole her breath. “You, my overthinking and incredible soulmate, gave up your humanity for the Therian race, so they can spare me for a few hours. And Maerlin knows we need to remember why we push on through all the shit. You are my reason, and I need you every bit as much as my next breath. Maybe more.”
Her eyes shimmered. “There has been a lot of bullshit lately, hasn’t there? A shit tsunami.”
He nodded and kissed her forehead. “The dark side is generally easier. That’s how they get people to join them. That and the cookies.”
Ash laughed, happy that he had made a joke. They’d both have to master compartmentalization to manage what would come at them, but for tonight, she would let everything else fade and focus on the love they shared. The gods only knew when they’d get another chance. “You ready to get out of here?”
Luca nodded. “This place creeps me out. Too many memories. We can leave from the balcony. Vik said everything would be ready when we get there, and she promised to keep Dani safe until we return.”
Ash was touched that he’d asked Viktorija to watch out for Dani. He pulled away from her and grabbed a thick winter coat.
“Here. We have to fly, and I don’t want you to freeze.”
“Umm, Luca?” she asked with amusement as she took the coat.
“Yeah?” He distractedly stripped to change to dragon form.
Ash lost her train of thought as his body appeared inch by glorious inch. Hunger that had nothing to do with blood coursed through her.
Luca caught her staring and grinned. “Enjoying the show, I see. What were you saying?”
“I, uh… Oh! You do realize I’m a vampire, right?” She held up the coat. “I don’t get cold anymore.”
The magic that normally would have prevented him from changing to dragon shape within the palace was weaker, having no one to maintain it. It still slowed his change and made it harder.
“You won’t want to see this, love. It’s not going to be as fast as usual, and it might get gruesome,” Luca warned.
Ash shook her head. “I don’t think so, buddy. I will be right here. I might not be able to take the pain or help you shift faster, but I sure as fuck can be here so you don’t go through it alone. Someone needs to watch your back.”
It took Luca five minutes to change forms. The high Therian king and queen could freely shift in the palace, but that ability was entwined with the coronation magic. Until that took place, he had to work for it.
Ash stayed by his side, though the agony he expressed as his bones cracked and reformed tore her apart. She had nothing to offer except companionship, but he was changing for her, so she’d be damned if she left him to suffer alone.
When he rose, panting with pain and exertion, Ash ran a hand over the cobalt scales on his head. “Are you okay? That looked brutal.”
