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PROLOGUE
SUMMER
Five Years Ago
I’m so freaking tired. Working two jobs, back-to-back, on the same day will do that to a girl. Especially when said girl hates said jobs with every fiber of her being.
I didn’t bust my ass through college to get a degree in political science to then turn around after graduation and work as a retail clerk and a bartender.
Not because there’s anything wrong with those vocations; I simply suck at both of them.
And the truth is, I don’t want to be an attorney, either. My parents think I should head off to law school next and follow my father’s footsteps into politics, but that’s never been my ambition.
I don’t even know what my dream is because I’ve been busy chasing someone else’s aspirations. Sitting in an office for the rest of my life, buried under papers, or addressing crowds of people and kissing strangers’ babies sounds like prison to me.
But after two months of working in retail and at the bar, I can safely say that neither of those things is what I’m meant to be doing either.
I should head back to the apartment that I share with my best friend, Lyla, but I think she planned on having a party tonight, and after a full evening of dealing with drunk college students at the bar, I’m not up for dealing with it at my own home. I want peace and quiet.
So, I head over to Dennis’s place. He’s been my boyfriend for three years. My parents introduced me to him at a gala event I was required to attend, and I actually ended up liking him, which doesn’t usually happen. Dennis wasn’t just handsome; he made me laugh, and it was easy to be with him from the moment I met him. Sure, he can be pushy and a little selfish, but who can’t, right? Lately, despite his badgering me, I haven’t been ready to live with him yet, so we’ve maintained our separate apartments. But tonight, I want to sleep for a solid ten hours.
I pad up the stairs of Dennis’s apartment building. The dark quiet of the warm summer night makes my eyes heavier, and I’m so excited to slip into bed and fall blissfully into sleep.
I use my key to unlock his door and soundlessly slip inside but notice that the lamp is still on in the living room. He doesn’t usually leave that on unless he knows that I’ll be coming here after work, but I didn’t text him before I headed this way. Maybe he’s still awake?
There’s a bowl of half-eaten popcorn on the coffee table and two bottles of beer, mostly gone.
Something has the hair on the back of my neck prickling, and everything in me goes cold.
With a frown, I cross to the short hallway that leads to his bedroom and notice a T-shirt and a sundress tossed carelessly on the floor. Closer to the bedroom door are pants, boxers, and panties.
And when I reach the doorway of Dennis’s bedroom, I find the man himself sleeping soundly in the bed, with my best friend, Lyla, wrapped around him, also sleeping.
I stay perfectly quiet as I watch them for a moment and wonder how long this has been going on. Is it new? Has it been going on the whole time that Dennis and I have been together?
And then it occurs to me that I just don’t give a shit. As I watch them sleep, I don’t feel much of anything at all.
I return to the living room, take his key off of my keyring, and set it on the small kitchen counter. I don’t care if I recover the few pieces of my clothing in his bedroom, and when I glance around, I realize that there’s nothing else in this apartment that belongs to me. We had mediocre sex on that couch too many times to count. I worked extra shifts and bought him the TV for Christmas because his old one died on him in the middle of a video game challenge. He cooked me dinner in this kitchen every Sunday night. But aside from memories, there’s nothing here for me. So, I walk out, down the steps, and out to my car, where I sit for about five minutes, trying to gauge how I feel about this new development.
Shouldn’t I be crying? Should I have yelled and thrown things and screamed at the two people who I’m supposed to trust the most in the world? Because, in the moment, none of that occurred to me.
“I really don’t care,” I mutter, shaking my head as I lean my head against the seat. “I don’t want this life. I don’t want him, and I obviously don’t want Lyla either. None of this is what I would have chosen for myself if I’d been given the chance to choose after high school.”
Starting the car, I head for my apartment just a mile away and immediately begin to pack my things. I fill my two big suitcases full of my clothes and three totes with the few kitchen items, linens, and personal items I don’t want to leave behind.
The rest of it, the furniture, belongs to Lyla. Her parents outfitted this apartment our junior year in college, and I moved in and paid half the rent. So, packing up my belongings and stuffing them into my Chevy Equinox doesn’t take long at all.
I take one last pass through the apartment to make sure I have everything and grab a computer charger from the living room that belongs to me, along with a magnet off the fridge that my aunt gave me for Valentine’s Day last year. Content that I’ve remembered everything, I take one more key off of my key ring and leave it on the kitchen counter.
I don’t write a note or send a text or anything cliché like that.
I simply leave.
And I know exactly what I’m going to do.
I’m going to start living the life I want to live.
CHAPTER ONE
