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“What if …” I swallowed “What if it’s the most perfect, delicious, amazing thing I’ve ever experienced, and the … cake … doesn’t want what I want in return? How would you ever get over that?”
Paige exhaled heavily. “Well, I think that if someone shows interest in you—and why wouldn’t they because you are a fucking treasure, Isabel—then you should trust that. And trust that you know when it feels right.”
Finally, I smiled. “Why does it sound so easy when you say it like that?”
“It’s not easy, my dear girl. Relationships are never, ever easy.”
“It’s not a relationship, Paige.” I shook my head. “It’s a crush come to life. I feel like a child when he’s around, and I hate it. Or I did until tonight,” I amended.
“You would,” she said, voice full of love. “None of this surprises me about you, Iz.”
I sighed.
“Look at it like this, having big feelings for someone doesn’t mean you’re weak or asking to be hurt. But if you don’t want to do any biting right now, then don’t.” Paige’s voice took on a soft quality. “You’ve been hurt, kid. That makes opening yourself hard. But for the right person, you will want to.”
“I don’t know how anyone measures up to him,” I admitted in a quiet voice. The words hurt coming out. “After getting to know him. I don’t see it, Paige.”
Paige answered carefully. “I don’t think we need to borrow trouble just yet, okay? One day at a time.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
For a moment, we were both content to stay quiet, even if my reasons were different than hers. Paige, no doubt, was processing all the horrible baked good analogies I’d just tossed in her lap like a grenade. And I was quiet because I could no longer ignore how far down this rabbit hole I’d gone.
Protecting myself from possible pain came at a steep cost.
Besides my sisters and Logan, Paige was the only person in my life who I trusted with anything. The only other person who’d earned that trust. But tonight, Aiden walked in, and without flinching, he knew exactly what I needed from him to smooth the raised hackles along my back.
The more he pushed me, prodded me, the more I’d calmed.
He met me where I was instead of trying to smother the flames.
And not once, despite my growing feelings for him, had I attempted to reach out in the same way.
What he might need in this new season of his life would look completely different than what I’d just needed from him. And all I’d done was avoid. Deflect. Hide.
As the realization came, Paige spoke again, plucking thoughts from my head. “The only thing I’ll say—my darling girl, one of the great loves of my life—is that if you want to know what he wants, you may have to ask.” She paused, continuing when I didn’t raise a protest. “And I’m not just talking about wanting a bite of your own cake, you know? You may know the version of him from behind the glass case, but is that really him?”
What had I asked him in the first couple of weeks?
Nothing.
Because the idea of Aiden—and now, the reality of who he was—had me off-balance and at a disadvantage, even if the disadvantage was in my head.
I tried not to feel ashamed because he’d gone out of his way to make me feel comfortable.
Sometimes you had your guard so far up, you blocked the good stuff too. And I was better than this. I was sure as fuck stronger than I’d been acting. So what if I tripped in front of him and spilled some coffee?
I liked who I was, even if it was hard for other people to get a real glimpse.
One of us was a locked box, and the other was on display for the world to see. Neither made it easy to make real connections.
A shadow moved away from the windows, and he walked out of the building. Across the parking lot, even though it was dark, I knew he was watching me.
With a deep breath and pulling from a well of self-control I didn’t know I had, I turned the key in the ignition and started my car. As soon as the headlights went on, Aiden dropped his head and walked to his truck.
“One day at a time,” I repeated.
Chapter Twelve
