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She didn’t say anything at first, because after the infection, she’d become distant with strangers, not sharing anything about herself because that opened her up, made her vulnerable. But she’d grown to put more trust into Marius and this strange kind of relationship they had.
Would he leave once he was fully healed? She checked his wound every day, and it was healing with no sign of infection, but she also knew that asking him to stay would change everything as well.
“I’m from Thornton originally. I was with my parents when everything went down, and we just stuck together.” She stared at her plate of food, suddenly losing her appetite. “We stayed put for months, waiting to see if the infection would die out or if the government would be able to get it under control.” The memories of what she lost, of what she had to do to her parents, played in vivid color in her head. Grabbing her glass of wine, she poured it full and then sucked it down. She refilled it, mindful of Marius sitting across from her silent, still.
“You lost your family.” He didn’t form it as a question.
She nodded and drank off the second glass of wine. “Yeah. My father had gotten bitten, and he turned a week later. Up until that point, I tried to make him comfortable, all the while knowing he wasn’t going to be with us for much longer.” She lifted her head and looked at Marius. “Yes.” She didn’t know if she should divulge, but she figured if they were going to get closer, and if she was going to broach the subject of him staying long-term—if she was going to do that—she needed to be honest.
“I’m sorry about that.”
She looked down at her food again. “My father turned from the infection and killed my mother. I ended up shooting both of them.” The tears were going to come on fiercely, and she needed to stop them, to be strong. She finished off her glass of wine, refilled it again, and drank half of it.
The fact that she didn’t have any food in her belly yet and that she was sucking down alcohol had the buzz coming on with an intensity that startled her.
“We planned on coming up here when things got calm, when it was safer to travel. We should have left sooner.” She whispered the last part. She finished off her wine, not going to cry, or at least telling herself that. “So, I came up here after they were… gone and started to live my life and survive. I’ve been up here for the last few months, and until you came along… you’re the only healthy human I’ve seen.”
He didn’t speak, didn’t even move, it seemed. But then he rose and walked toward her. She was frozen, wondering what he planned on doing.
He helped her out of the chair and pulled her in for a hug. All he did was hold her, rub her back, and tell her he was sorry but that things would be okay.
Maya wanted to believe that, and being in Marius’s arms had her feeling like everything could start to be good, be better.
13
Marius held Maya, let her sink into him, and kept telling her everything would be okay. He didn’t know how to make her feel better. She’d lost everything and was here alone, trying to make this new life work.
He could feel her pain as if it were his own, and he knew her opening herself up like that, telling him about her family, had to have been hard.
She pulled back and looked up at him, and he pushed away her dark hair and cupped her cheeks. Staring into her eyes, he saw the raw agony.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered again.
She looked down at his mouth, and his whole body tightened. And when she rose on her toes, and he knew she was about to kiss him, everything stopped inside him. When she was a hairsbreadth away from his mouth, her warm, sweet wine-smelling breath brushing along his, he took a step back.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re upset and had half a bottle of wine.” He smoothed his fingers over her cheeks, feeling the warmth, the smoothness of her flesh. He was being honest and trying really fucking hard not to give in to his desires.
“You don’t want me?” she asked softly.
“Maya,” he said her name on a groan and closed his eyes. “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.” He opened his eyes again, hoping she saw the truth. “I want you so bad it’s hard to walk comfortably most of the time.” He saw her cheeks turn red as she blushed, and he smoothed his thumbs along the swells, loving how sweetly she was looking up at him. “But I’m not a bastard and won’t take advantage of you, and that’s what I’d be doing if I gave in right now.”
