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Ugh, great. I was alive again.
And typical—everything hurt.
CHAPTER 7
It was kinda rude that no one was sitting beside my deathbed when I woke, but that was fine. Totally fine. I wasn't insulted or hurt at all. My brows slammed down over my eyes and a scowl flattened my mouth, but that was completely unrelated.
I swung my legs out of bed—and inhaled a rapid hiss at the riot of aches and pains in my body. Shit, my stomach was tender.
Oh yeah, I stabbed myself. Fun times.
My fingernails pressed into the mattress as I sat there, panting and cursing Erebus for making me come back. But now I was here, in pain and pissed off as usual, now I was alive … I was glad to be back.
Even if Cronus tried to eat me again, even if I had to stab myself again, I could see Wane smile that tentative smile of his, and see Kai flick his forked tongue out in a sulky hiss, and watch Harvey try to beat the world record for number of bread rolls he could balance on his head,1 and soak up the simmering weight of Wynvail's obsessed stare, and feel the weight of Emlyn's body against mine, his arms wrapping me entirely until it felt like everything would be okay in the world.
Fuck, I needed a hug.
I set my feet on the ground, wincing at the icy flash of the floorboards, and stretched my toes out to the pink shag rug in the middle of the room.
"Okay, Haley," I breathed, psyching myself up. "Now all you have to do is stand up. Easy peasy, greasy beefy."2
I pushed up on one leg, and when nothing disastrous happened, I confidently rose on both legs—and hissed when my left knee tried to drop me on my ass. My wings snapped out on instinct, and I had to bite back a scream at the pain that erupted through cartilage and bone.
Cocksucking, motherfucking owww.
I panted, grabbing the bedframe and gripping it in white-knuckled fingers, but the longer I stood, the more willing my leg was to be a leg.
"Good leg," I praised it, as if my thigh might have a praise kink and strive to be its best self.3
I sucked up all my courage, ignored the flash of a vision I had of eating carpet when my leg collapsed, and took a step.
Hey, look at that, I was walking.
I was amazed when I reached the door, and even more so when I pulled it open and walked down the hall. Holy fuck, I was walking. I had legs, I wasn't dead, and I was walking.
Erebus was going to be so smug about this. He was right; I did need to come back. I was glad I hadn't stayed in the darkness, hiding from my problems.4
There was a patch of shadow behind a potted fern. I stopped my slow procession down the hallway to give it the middle finger and hoped Busty saw. A smile crossed my face as I imagined his reaction, but voices trickled from a room downstairs and my head snapped towards them, my smile collapsing as something crumpled and fragile replaced it. My breathing hitched; I stumble-walked faster, my palm flat on the wall to keep on my feet.
The stairs were intricate and perilous in a way they'd never been before, not even my wings affording me balance as I slowly made my way down them on unsteady legs. The louder my mates' voices grew, the tighter my throat became. I could hear Harvey, Kai, and Wyn, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, I was surprised to realise they weren't arguing. They were bickering, but that was normal, and the TV echoed in the background, set on the news.
I paused outside the open door, my hand pressed to my chest as I listened.
"Get your foot off my fucking leg," Kai muttered.
"Get your leg off my foot," Harvey shot back, but strangely flat, empty of his usual smug amusement.
I peered around the doorway, finding Harvey and Kai on the sofa, Kai's expression gut-wrenching, his eyes swimming with misery. Not a single snake rippled the air around him. Harvey looked equally drawn, Wynvail now silent, sitting on the floor in front of the sofa.
Emlyn hunched in an armchair by the fire, his eyes unfocused on the flames. Wane stood at the window with Verena, their voices low and attention on the street outside, both their body language heavy with sadness and misery.
I swallowed, blinking fast. It was good to see Verena with them, to know even with me gone they'd remembered to look after her. She didn't have anyone else, and I knew how that felt. I'd have given my right arm back then for a family of smart-mouthed, smirking criminals with hearts of gold to take me in and give me a home.
A few days ago, I might have made a grand entrance, but I was too close to tears for that. I didn't even know why I was crying. I was back, I had my family. I should have been happy. But I wanted to curl into a ball and sob.
I padded into the room, my heart tight, emotions fragile.
"Em?" I breathed, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Can I have a hug?"
