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"Even before you fell for me?" I asked, glancing out the window and trying not to notice that it was full dark, not even streetlamps casting a golden glow through the night.
"I was obsessed with you from the first meeting. I wanted you. Needed you with a force I wasn't used to. I knew the house would help me keep you. And at the time, I was hoping the shields would keep your other mates out." He huffed. "Now, we're living with them. Strange how priorities change."
Speaking of priorities… I turned to face him, only light from the hallway lining his sharp profile, his messy hair.1
"What you did for Wane in the Damned Realm..."
He fixed his jaw. "Yes?"
"Don't you dare do that again."
He jolted, mercury eyes widening. "Excuse me?"
I jabbed his bare chest, trying to shut out memories of how he looked when he came. And failing. Dammit. "You heard me. If you love me at all, you'll never do anything like that again."
"You're telling me not to save your mates again?" He looked entirely baffled, and that made me angrier. Made me sad, too, the emotions conflicting in my chest.
"I'm telling you not to sacrifice yourself again!" I shook my head when he still didn't get it. "The shit you said to me before you—before—" My inhale hissed through my teeth. "You spoke like Wane mattered, and you didn't. Like no one would give a shit if you died. Like no one would miss you."
He glanced away and said nothing, eyes snagging on the darkness outside.
"Well, someone did," I said fiercely. "You matter to me, and the thought of losing you again makes me want to massacre my way through the city."
His stare snapped to me, surprise blooming across his face.
"You have a mate, and now you have a family. The guys, Verena, me—we're your family. You don't get to do stupid, reckless shit without talking about it first. That's not a request, that's an order."
I shook my head, all the panic and grief of losing him clawing its way through my chest. It had been days since I saw him healed, alive, in Olympus. Days. The emotions were still as sharp as razors, cutting my heart and soul to shreds. All my anger and pain and bitter, bubbling hurt came out.
"You didn't even contemplate telling us. You knew stepping over that threshold would kill you, knew Cronus would unmake you, and you didn't tell us. We could have figured something out, could have found something to mess with the magic so we could all get out. Hell, I'd have moved back into that place forever if it kept you alive. I can't—describe how it felt to watch you die, to feel—feel you die in the bond. My whole soul went numb and icy, and you just—weren't there. I never, never want to feel that again. Not for a single damn second."
I swallowed the knot in my throat, my chest heaving. He was silent, just letting me rant.
"Okay," he said finally.
My shoulders slumped, the anger abandoning me. "Okay?"
He nodded, skimming a knuckle down my bare side. "Okay. I didn't realise you'd care."
I flinched.
"Not like that," he rushed to say, pulling me closer. "I don't mean that as an insult, honey."
"I'm your mate; how else am I supposed to take it?"
"I'm not used to people caring if I live or die. I've never had that before, and quite frankly, I wasn't aware I had that before Cronus unmade me. I only realised how much you cared when—"
"Yes?"
He sighed, stroking my skin like it was a touchstone keeping him calm. Shadows flickered in his eyes, anguish on his stubbled face. "The queen of hell was there when I was brought back. She told me you were—taking it hard."
"She told you I was a total mess, didn't she?" I drawled.
"Pretty much." He folded me into his arms, my cheek resting on his chest. "And the only thing I could think about was getting back to you because you needed me, but later, when I processed what she told me, it felt … weird. I wasn't expecting to be missed, and the fact that you mourned me made me feel more real than I ever had before."
I blinked fast. "Are you trying to break my heart? Because it's working."
He grinned, crooked and sexy. "Just telling you my sad little sob story. Feel free to comfort me with these."
