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"Do it," Kai said—not hissing but … pleading. "Do it. Use it. Please."
I met his eyes and saw my own panic and brokenness mirrored back to me. When you became obsessed with someone, you built your whole life around that person, and without them you were nothing. I was on autopilot, not really existing, the only thing keeping my heart beating and body moving the pearl in my hand. This single, fragile chance.
I plucked the pearl from its bed of silk, my fingers shaking hard now. Fuck, don't you dare drop it. This is the only thing that's ever mattered in your whole life, the only good thing you've ever done, so don't you dare fuck this up, you piece of shit.
The pearl hummed and tingled between my fingers, not entirely solid. I pressed it to Halwen’s chest, my palm flat over the pearl, and held my breath as I stood. I only hesitated a split second before I drove my palm down on her chest, forcing the pearl inside her body. Barely breathing, I lifted my hand. The pearl was gone, its power absorbed by her body.
"Did it work?" Kai asked breathlessly, stumbling forward when Wane unbound his shadows. Kai threw himself at the bed, scanning Halwen's face as we all did, praying colour would return to her face, her eyelids would flutter, and she'd suck in a gasp.
"Please," Harvey whispered. "Please."
Five seconds passed.
Ten.
"Please," Harvey chanted, a litany of desperation that got raspier with every second. "Haley, please."
I didn't take my eyes off her for a second, but my chest caved in when she didn't move even a millimetre.
Minutes passed and she stayed cold, still, and dead.
I ripped away from the bed, my fist pressed to my mouth as I fought to conceal the broken mess inside me. For a little while, I'd actually liked being alive, actually had something worth sticking around for, and now it was gone. She was gone.
I jumped when a heavy hand landed on my shoulder, and I looked at Emlyn with dead eyes when he squeezed it and said, "You tried. It could have saved her."
I tried, but it wasn't good enough. I was never fucking good enough.
CHAPTER 3
HALWEN
Ilike it here, I thought, stretching my arms out at my sides as I floated through a pool of soft darkness, like a calm ocean. I hadn't had a holiday in forever, but I deserved this one. Shame the sun blazing down on me was as dark as ink and just as warm.
This isn't a holiday, the grumpy voice of my new vacation bestie argued, appearing on the tiled floor outside the pool I floated in.
Everything was made of different shades of pitch, black, void, and sable, but I could make out the pool, the sun loungers, palm trees, and the cute little beach shack just fine. I wore a polka dot bikini that was definitely pink despite being varying shades of charcoal, and I'd put my hair up into cute braided pigtails.1
You're dead, he went on, ignoring my pouting scowl as he sat on the edge of the pool, his six-foot-five, rake-thin body dressed in a sharp suit and his shoes shiny and lacquered. His hair was equally shiny, slicked back from his hawkish face. His name was Erebus, but I'd been calling him Busty because he couldn't stop me.2
Don't be a killjoy, Busty.
But you are dead. This is just an echo of your soul I was able to preserve because Cronus possesses a thread of my darkness.
Boo, I replied, sticking out my tongue. You're no fun. Go get me a mojito.
I am Erebus, the true darkness, one of the first—
Beings to exist in the known universe, I cut in, sliding a pair of sunglasses over my eyes and deciding I'd rather be on an inflatable than floating on my back. Yeah, you might have mentioned that.
An inflatable appeared under me, made of pitch black shiny plastic in the shape of a dagger. Cute.
And still, you order me around like I'm a common god. Wouldn't you rather go back?
I frowned, kicking my feet through the calm water. To what?
Forgotten already? Busty sighed. We just had this conversation. Your mates are waiting for you. They've gone to a lot of trouble to give you a second chance at life.
Hm. I dipped my hand into the dark water, watching it play over my skin. Good for them.
