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A few minutes later, I sit down with my coffee and some chia seed pudding when Gavin strolls into the kitchen, hair wet, fresh out of the shower by the looks of it.
“Hey,” he grunts, setting down his phone at the table. “She did look Rubenesque.”
I shake my head in amusement. “I knew you knew it.”
But he sighs, seeming thrown off.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” he says, but I’m not sure he means it.
Me though? I’m on top of the world thanks to last night. “Did you have a good night?” I ask.
He flips me the middle finger.
“You’re so sweet.”
He flips me his other middle finger.
I smile and eat breakfast. When I’m done, I say, “Well, I’m going to work on how to be a great boyfriend today. I have some excellent ideas.”
He meets my gaze. “Me too.”
He’s in on this now?
31
A FULL-SERVICE BOYFRIEND
Briar
“Just so I’m clear—a full-service boyfriend should be able to provide a screaming orgasm and then walk you to work the next morning?” I ask as Rhys and I pass a cute shop peddling throw pillows with sayings on them like You Had Me at Merlot and Listen to Riesling.
Rhys takes a drink of the tea I made, like he’s giving that some serious thought, then says, “Sounds about right.”
“I’m taking notes for my column,” I say, tapping my temple like I’m recording these tips.
“But honestly, what kind of boyfriend wouldn’t do that?”
“A bad one?” I ask, like I’m offering the answer in class.
“You already know the right answers.”
“Probably because I’ve known the wrong guys,” I say as we near the town square. The faint sounds of folk music in the distance tickle the air. “But why does this—walking—make for a great boyfriend? Or, put another way, how do I convince the men that might read this column that these tips will benefit them? His site is a little…how to get laid.”
“Lovely.”
“Technically it’s dating tips for real men. But same thing.”
After a pause, Rhys says, “So you need to be a little bit subversive with the column. Like when your mum puts butter on peas to get you to eat them.”
“Spoiler alert: nothing would get me to eat peas.”
“Bet you’ve never tried sugar snap peas.” He makes a good point.
“Fine. I will reserve judgment on sugar snap peas. And yes, I’ll need to butter up the peas. Steven’s readership will want to know what’s in it for them.” My brow knits as I noodle on how to present the why of all this in the column. “Do I make it seem like they could get more sex if they follow these tips?” I say, but as soon as I ask the question, my stomach twists in an answer. I shake my head. “I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to present what makes a great boyfriend in terms of only what’s in it for them. What if some guy takes the advice and really messes with his partner’s head?”
“Nothing worse than that.”
