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“Yes.” I’m okay.
“What did he do? Do I need to bring over a shovel? Did he screw things up for you? Make your ex mad? What happened?” She sounds almost distracted for a moment.
“No, nothing like that. Something... worse.” I gather up my courage, trying to find the words to tell her the truth.
“Worse? What could be worse than that?” The confusion in her voice tells me all her attention is back on me.
I take a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I slept with him.”
There’s a long pause on the other end of the line. I can almost hear Katie’s brain processing my words and I take another sip of my coffee.
“You what?” she finally asks, disbelief filling the two words.
That’s the response I expected, to be honest. Even I don’t know what I was thinking. Or if I even was thinking.
“I slept with him. Last night. He brought me home, I thought there was a light on in my place. He walked me up, checked the house, then we kissed...” Everything just happened.
“I don’t know what half of that means, but are you okay?”
“I’m okay. I feel like I messed up. I mean, this morning he seemed like he was in a hurry to get out, and I’m worried I screwed things up between us, at work, I mean, people are going to know-”
“Nobody is going to know.” She sounds so sure. “Everyone is caught up in their own things. You’re fine as long as you haven’t done anything unprofessional at work.” She’s making sense, and I let out a deep breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
I can only hope she’s right.
“Other than that, are you happy?” She sounds cautiously optimistic.
Am I?
“I think so.” If there are no repercussions to our night together, I have no regrets.
“I’m happy for you. So what happened?” She lets out a silvery laugh and I can’t hold back a smile.
“I was afraid because Sterling came and made a huge stink at my work. Clifton punched him in the face, Sterling got thrown out, and Clifton brought me home. I thought I saw a light on that I never leave on, so he came up with me to make sure I was safe. Then things got out of hand.” My cheeks burn as I remember the night before. I slide onto the stool at my breakfast nook and take a deep drink of my coffee.
“Well, you certainly have a type.” Amusement shines through in her voice.
She’s right, I do have a type. Guys that make me feel safe, valued, important.
“So he stayed the night, then left in a hurry?” Katie sounds like she’s puzzling over his behavior. “Do you know if he had somewhere to be? Maybe a meeting or something?”
I lift both shoulders even though I know she can’t see me. “Not that I know of, but I didn't ask either.” Should I have asked, at least to put myself at ease?
“Well, maybe he has all the same concerns you do and didn't want to invade your space any longer than he already had. He’s just a person, too, you know.”
Katie has a way of saying exactly what I need to hear. “And just remember, you're not the first person to do something like this. You won't be the last. It doesn't define you and you’re stronger than any fallout that might come. You’re amazing, Em.”
I don't feel amazing, but I'm not about to tell her she's wrong. “Thanks, Katie. You're the best friend ever; I don't know what I'd do without you.”
“Anytime, Emma. Anytime. So what are you going to do now?”
I'm not sure if she means in regards to Clifton or just my day in general. So I answer for both. “I'm going to finish my coffee and then probably send him a text or call him. I don't want the first time we interact after this to be at work, you know?”
“Smart.” Katie sounds like she agrees with my approach, which is reassuring.
“And I hope he doesn't make a scene, or act too friendly in front of people. Or bring it up where anyone can hear him.” Just the thought of those options has my heart beating too hard.
“Or kiss you?” Katie actually sounds hopeful.
