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Finally! A break-through! I throw another chocolate into my gob in relief.
‘Yes. We need to branch out.’
I stop chewing. ‘What does that mean?’
‘Get you out there properly, rather than wait for me to find some new potential suitors.’
‘That’s absolutely not what I meant,’ I protest. ‘And can we stop calling them potential suitors? This isn’t Bridgerton! I do not want to date full stop.’
‘Don’t be absurd!’
‘I’m being truthful. I don’t want a partner. I’m so happy with my life as it is. I have you, Lila, this beautiful home. I feel really lucky and fulfilled.’
She sighs. ‘You can’t go through life knowing that the most successful relationship you’ve ever had was with your childhood Tamagotchi, Sophie.’
‘I loved that Tamagotchi. Anyway, you’re just being silly.’
‘I’m not! I know you have us but what about the other stuff? What about finding your great love?’
‘I don’t need a great love.’
‘Pah! You’ve been single and divorced for almost five years. That’s a long time to go without even a whiff of romance. Aren’t you worried about your vagina?’
‘I went for a smear test last week and everything is perfectly well with my vagina, thanks for asking.’
‘You know very well that’s not what I mean.’
‘Listen,’ I say, taking Poppy’s hand. ‘I know you’re looking out for me and I love you for that but I am not in the market for a partner. You have to understand, Pop. I have absolutely no intention of going through a divorce again.’
‘I’m not saying you should!’ She seems exasperated. ‘I know that was a really painful chapter of your life. What I am saying is that your relationship with Mark cannot be your last ever relationship. You have to give yourself the chance, the hope, that one day you might find someone who loves you unconditionally. Imagine turning ninety and flicking back through your Rolodex of memories and stumbling across bloody Mark as the last person you dated.’
Poppy shudders.
‘It’s not that bad.’
‘Oh it is. Mark was a snivelling turd of a human being,’ she says, setting her empty mug down on the coffee table with such force that I worry it might smash.
‘A bit much?’
‘It’s literally the tip of the iceberg. He abandoned you the minute you got pregnant.’
‘He didn’t abandon me, I chose to leave,’ I say firmly, annoyed by her narrative. Mark didn’t want kids, I knew that. To be honest, I didn’t think I did either. The pregnancy wasn’t planned but it changed everything for me, and it was my decision to forge ahead with a divorce.
‘Potato pot-ah-to,’ Poppy says. ‘What kind of man wants nothing to do with his unborn baby? And don’t even get me started on the fact that he was cheating on you as well. Mark was a wet drip with a posh accent. He used your brilliant, shining light for his own gain and the minute things didn’t go according to his plan, he bailed.’ She pauses then before holding her index finger aloft. ‘Mark is mistletoe.’
I furrow my brow, confused. ‘Why is my ex-husband a Christmas decoration?’
‘Mistletoe’s a parasite,’ she replies, her cheeks growing a pretty shade of pink as she gets more animated. ‘It clings onto trees and sucks their blood.’
‘Pretty sure trees don’t have blood, Pop.’
‘You know what I mean!’ She’s googling mistletoe. ‘Listen to this. “Mistletoe won’t kill the host tree but can weaken it.” That’s exactly what happened with you.’
I bristle. ‘I wasn’t weakened by my divorce. I don’t think I’ve ever felt stronger.’
‘Oh, you are strong now,’ Poppy agrees. ‘Some may say too strong, with those great big walls you’ve built around you.’
‘Wow, don’t hold back or anything,’ I mutter into my mug of tea.
