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What if I were caught? Would father imprison me? Cleanse me of my sins? What if I wasn’t caught and made it to the city? Would the monsters father speaks of find me before Clara did?
Sadness blossoms in my chest as I creep within the house. I’m halfway through the living space when my father’s voice startles me. “You missed scripture reading this morning.” His words are as sharp as the edge of a knife. My heart kicks against my ribcage. I expected him to be at the church.
“I’m sorry, Father. I wanted to see the sunrise. It reminds me of Clara,” I murmur. Her name always evokes the same darkening of his features, a storm threatening in warning of its unpredictability. She’s his own flesh and blood, yet the pure disdain he had toward her, you’d think I was talking about a sinner from the outside world
Boom. Boom. Boom.
“Your sister broke our law. By leaving us, she invited sin into her heart.” His tone remains remarkably calm and controlled, sending a scurrying of goosebumps over my flesh. He’s the most dangerous when he tricks you with his serene demeanor. It’s so you let your guard down and don’t see the devil within.
“Your law, Father,” I say boldly, defiant. Heat rises to my cheeks. I hate his laws. His hit knocks me off my feet, pain exploding across the apple of my cheek, stealing my breath.
“Do I not provide a pleasing life for you both?” He advances a step toward me, and the need to cower beneath him causes my arms shake. “You will take over my position one day and lead our people. It will be the same law you pass down to your children. It’s safer this way. The only way to keep your souls pure.”
I die a little inside at his words. I don’t want to stay here, lead anyone…and children? I’m still a child myself. I don’t believe we should marry and birth as many children as possible. This is hell.
“If you say so, Father.” I nod. Because I have to. Provoking his wrath further isn’t worth it. I get to my feet, willing the tears not to fall.
“I do.” He pivots on his heel and I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m just about to take a step toward my room when he turns back. “And, Mona…no more morning visits to the watch the sunrise.” His words are more a warning than a request. The acid burn of sickness bursts over my tongue.
And just like a flower without the sun, I wilt inside.
“Okay.” I attempt to walk past him, but he steps in my way, his finger pinching and raising my chin.
“She’s been gone for a month. If she returns, she returns tainted by the outside world. It’s like a disease, Mona, and will need to be cleansed from her. Go to your room and pray for her soul.” A lump lodges in my throat, preventing me from saying anything else.
Would he really cleanse her? Yes.
I hope she never returns.
Hunger pangs squeeze my stomach, forcing me to leave my room in search of food. Usually, Father would have insisted I join them for dinner, but he’s punishing me for missing morning scripture. Like I need to read that book any more times. I can recite it from memory.
I pass my mother’s room, finding the door ajar with her sitting on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands. Rapping my hand gently on the wood panel, I enter and drop to the floor before her. “Mama?”
Grasping her hands in mine, sorrow grips my heart when I see the tears in her eyes. “I’m okay, my sweet girl.”
She’s not. There’s a fresh bruise coloring the skin beneath her eye.
“What happened, Mama?”
She sniffles, pulling her hands free and swiping at her eyes.
“Nothing.” She chuckles nervously. “I just mentioned your sister in front of your father. You understand how he gets.”
He’s the devil.
“Father wants me to pray for Clara’s soul,” I croak.
Her sniffles bring tears to my own eyes.
“He was raised here, Mona. This life is all he’s ever known.”
“And you?” I question, confused by her implication.
“I was too, but I’ve seen the world beyond our shores.”
A gasp wisps from my lungs. My eyes widen as tears threaten to roll down my cheeks. “I was sent by my family on a mission to recruit, teach people about repenting and believing. When your grandfather still led, it was what we did to bring God into the hearts of potential people of light. The true believers became one of us.”
“Is it really as bad as Father portrays it to be? Evil?”
“It’s very different from how we live. Corrupt and sinful.”
A wound opens in my chest, expanding with every thought of Clara out there alone. “Should we not go find her?”
