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But when she looked at him, she could see that there was still something more.
“Say it all, Luke. You don't have to hold back with me.”
She could see his brain trying to take over. She moved one hand from his stomach to his heart.
“Keep talking from here, not up there,” she said, nodding at his head.
“I just want to be with you. For the next few days without any—” He cut himself off again. “Fuck, I suck at this, don't I?”
“Kind of,” she teased, then decided to let him off the hook by saying, “Are you trying to tell me that you just want to have fun?”
“Fun,” he repeated, the word almost hollow. He didn't move or speak again for a long moment. Finally, he said, “That's exactly what I want.”
She knew what he was really asking for. No more difficult questions. No more trying to reach inside his heart to uncover everything he kept hidden.
And no more worrying about the real world or either of their opposite places in it.
Her answer was simple. And the only one she could give. Because she wasn't strong enough to leave him. Not when she loved him so damn much it actually hurt.
“Okay.”
He didn't look convinced. “I know it's a lot to ask.”
Slowly shifting her weight down his hips to get closer to the erection that she’d felt growing against her backside during their conversation, she said, “I'm all for fun,” as she wriggled down over him. “Although in the name of full disclosure, there is one thing, though, that I don't think I'm going to be able to promise you.”
“Tell me,” he said, his hips shifting with hers, easily finding her wet heat.
“I don't think I'm going to be able to stop telling you that I love you. ”
With that said, she pushed down onto him, taking him all the way to the hilt.
“I don't want you to stop,” he said.
Surprise at his stark admission made her open up even more, both between her legs and behind her breast-bone. “I won't, Luke. No matter what.”
But in the aftermath of their orgasms, Janica realized she didn't actually know what he'd meant. Had he simply been telling her not to stop the erotic slide of her body against his because he'd been about to come?
Or was it the outpouring of love from her heart that he didn't want to end?
Chapter Fifteen
Luke couldn't remember feeling like this since he was a little boy. When he was with Janica, he caught snippets of freedom. Of happiness.
And the sex was beyond great.
Jesus, he'd never come like this, not with anyone else. He finally understood why the French called it “la petite mort.” Being with Janica, taking her to the edge and then following her over, almost felt like it was obliterating the dark patches inside of him, one orgasm at a time.
The next day when they could finally stop devouring each other's bodies, they drove a couple miles down the road to go for a hike and then she made him stop at every little store and cafe on the way back to the cabin. What should have taken fifteen minutes, took over an hour. He'd never met anyone as interested in everything around her. Especially when he knew that, if it were up to him, he would have kept his focus on the unimportant goal of getting back to the cabin to the exclusion of all else.
In the afternoon, she apologized about having to take care of some work. He knew she was successful, but he hadn't realized quite what an extensive operation she ran until he caught snippets of her detailed conversations from the kitchen over the next few hours.
Two days with her and he couldn't imagine what that kitchen would look like without her in it. He couldn't imagine sleeping alone. Hell, he couldn't even imagine showering alone at this point.
He hadn't invited her to come here, to invade his life, but now that she was here the crazy truth was that he was glad.
So damn glad it scared the shit out of him.
Because he knew it couldn't possibly last forever, this fantasy world they were living in just steps away from the ocean and the forest.
It was getting dark when he realized he was missing her too much to stay outside and give her privacy any longer. She dropped the phone on to the counter just as he walked in, looking mildly irritated.
And totally beautiful.
He knew another moment of fear. It was a big deal for her to give him these days away from her business. The look on her face after hanging up the phone told him how badly she was needed at the office.
She was going to leave.
No. Not yet!
His entire body tensed. His gut clenched tight, like it was being held by a ruthless fist. He needed to stop her, had to convince her somehow, someway, to stay. At least for a little while longer.
Because he needed her. So badly it shocked the hell out of him.
She swept out of the cabin. “I need to go dancing. Now.”
She threw his car keys at him and he barely caught them before they fell over the edge into the thick brush. “You're not leaving?”
The words came out before he could stop them, before he could delete the pathetic undertone of need, of fear beneath them. She stopped running down the stairs to look back at him with a frown.
“Not without you, I'm not.”
The rush of relief, of joy, nearly knocked him over.
By the time he got down to the bottom of the stairs she was standing in the gravel parking lot looking disapprovingly at his Porsche. Every other woman he'd ever been with had practically wanted to do his car.
Somehow it was fitting that Janica seemed annoyed by it instead.
“Why can't you just drive a truck?” Before he could answer, she shot him an irritated glance, and said, “Because let me tell you, it's going to be hell trying to do it in this stupid sports car.”
He laughed out loud and got hard all at the same time. “I thought we were going to go dancing?”
She rolled her eyes. “Dancing. Fucking. One leads right to the other. How can you not know that?” She opened the passenger door, got in, and slammed the door.
He was going to have a hell of a time dancing with a hard-on like this. Not that it really mattered, however, since he didn't dance. In any case, he seriously doubted they'd find a place to dance in this fairly remote coastal mountain town.
Which meant they could just focus on the fucking, he thought with a grin that he had a feeling he was going to pay for later.
But maybe she was a little witch. Because they had barely hit the two lanes of Highway 1 when she had him pull over in front of a biker bar. The parking lot was packed with motorcycles and big trucks.
He could hear the music blaring before he'd even turned off his ignition.
