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"I know."
She untied the bow at the front of her dress and a second later pulled it over her head and tossed it on the ground.
"Anna." He put his hands on her shoulders, stupid enough to risk touching her when she was standing there almost naked and so beautiful he couldn't believe his eyes, no matter how many times he looked at her. "You don't want to make love to me here. Now."
He hated the way she winced at the word love, hated it even more when she said, "You taught me too well, Cole, taught me not to fight what I really need." So matter-of-fact. "And I need you. Here. Now. Just like this."
Her hands went to his belt, unbuckling it, and he tried to still them with his own, but she was focused, one hundred percent intent on pulling his zipper down.
"Anna, baby," he said, dragging the words from his own throat, "listen to me. We need to stop before you do something you don't really want to do."
The pain in her eyes broke his heart as she said, "I thought that was true. All my life I'd told myself I didn't want this." She dragged his jeans down and the erection he couldn't contain jutted out at her through the thin fabric of his navy blue boxers. "I was lying to myself. You taught me all about lies."
She dropped to her knees and he tried again, tried to stop her from doing something she'd hate him for forever.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to do this."
She lifted her gaze to his, locked in tight. "I do." Her tongue slipped out in a wet caress across his bulging c**k head and he couldn't stop his arousal from bursting onto her lips. "Even though you've broken my heart, I need this."
Her words tore at him. She wasn't saying she needed him. Just that she was addicted to exploring the deep sensuality that he'd helped her find.
She ran her hands up onto his stomach, his muscles tightening beneath her soft touch.
"That first night in Las Vegas you unlocked the door to a part of me that I was denying."
She sucked his c**k head inside, swirling her tongue around it. When she pulled back there was lust in her eyes--and so much bleak pain all Cole wanted to do was pick her up and tuck her against his chest and not let her go until it was gone.
"I can't help but crave touch now. Can't stop wanting that rush of release." The breath she took shook her body. "Crazy," she whispered. "I need crazy." Her voice, her expression was ravaged with painful knowledge. "I'll never be able to lock that door again. Even after you're gone. Even without you."
Jesus, she was outright telling him that she was going to replace him. That whether or not he was the man in her bed, she wasn't going to force herself to live in a sexual prison.
The thought of another man ever taking Anna--taking what was his--twisted up inside of Cole. His hands became fists in her soft hair.
"I'll kill anyone who touches you."
She answered his threat by cupping his balls and taking him deep into her throat.
Just like he'd taught her...that first night when he'd asked her to trust him.
Something inside his chest splintered apart even as his c**k grew harder inside her sweet, sucking mouth.
He'd betrayed her trust again and again, from that first kiss, when he'd convinced her to come to the wedding chapel to say "I do," on that morning he asked her lie to his grandmother, when he'd sat beside her in her parents' house and let her lie to her own family.
He needed to stop this. Needed to stop himself from taking something he didn't deserve from her.
He'd never deserved her, not for one single second that she'd let him be a part of her life .
Her fingernails scratched along the skin behind his balls and he felt them tighten up into his body. She sucked him in deep while laving her tongue along his shaft. Using every last ounce of self-control he possessed, he dragged himself from between her sweet lips.
"No, baby. Not like this."
But her eyes were wild and that wildness made her stronger, stronger even than a man who tackled giants for a living. She gripped his hands, tugged him over her as they tumbled onto the floor.
Cole couldn't leave her, couldn't possibly walk away from her. He needed her too badly, needed to erase the storm in her ocean eyes--and even more, needed to find a way to smooth out the lines of sadness around her soft mouth.
He tried to thread his fingers through hers, but instead of letting him hold onto her, she put her hands on his face and leaned up to kiss him, biting, sucking, stealing his breath away.
A stronger man would have stopped her.
A good man would have known that kisses like this would only make things worse.
Fuck. He had no practice at being that man. Didn't know the first thing about taking care of anyone but himself--and his grandmother.
But even seeing the fallout right in front of him, even knowing he wouldn't be able to erase the guilt when they were done, he couldn't stop himself from pushing her thighs apart with his knee.
And then he saw the thin barrier of her panties.
Thank God.
He couldn't just take her. Couldn't do the one thing he knew he'd regret forever.
But just when he was on the verge of thinking clearly again, Anna dropped her hands from his face and yanked aside the crotch of the panties, revealing her sweet, silky pu**y to him.
Even then he might have been able to fight himself back, might have had a prayer of getting off the floor and not pounding into her, if she hadn't said, "Take me, Cole. I can't stand it anymore. I need you inside of me. All day I've needed you. Even when I hated you, I still needed you. Still craved your touch. Your kisses. Your cock."
He'd loved to hear her beg, loved knowing he'd made her so crazy with need that she no longer had any way of fighting her arousal. But, God, he'd never wanted to hear her sound like this, like she was a woman who didn't have any other option but to beg a man who'd hurt her to f**k her. Like she was trying to screw away her pain, doing anything she could to trade it away for a moment's pleasure.
"Please." Her voice broke on the simple word.
And Cole's heart broke, too.
"I love you, sweetheart," he vowed. "I love you so damn much it's killing me."
Her eyes flashed with momentary hope before pain came crashing back down, so much pain that he'd never hated himself more even as he pushed into the warmest, wettest comfort he'd ever known.
"Anna." He had to drive all the way into her, watching her neck fall back as a whimper of deep pleasure left her throat. "My sweet Anna."
Her hands were where he'd taught her to keep them, up above her head, her nails scratching at the wood floor. But he'd taught her that when he'd stupidly thought that f**king her was just a game.
