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All theirs? That’s how much he cared about being near his son? Nellie brought her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes. She felt completely ashamed that she’d once been married to this man.
“Something wrong?” Abel asked, the tension that had filled that car just minutes earlier now replaced with a feeling of urgency.
Nellie nodded but waved at him to give her a second. After her mom gave her all the facts about how long she’d be in Seattle and how and when she’d be back with Gus, Nellie got off the phone. Everything she’d been so worried about all day regarding her love life now seemed so trivial in comparison.
She shamefully explained about her sister in rehab and her ass**le ex-husband pawning their son off on her parents. “They’re on a plane now to go bring him home until Courtney gets out and she can get custody back.”
Abel frowned, looking very genuinely concerned. Any resentment he may’ve been feeling toward her earlier was completely gone now. “Anything I can do?”
“No, there’s nothing.” She smiled softly then felt sadness deep in her heart for what she had to say next. “But I think maybe it’s best if you don’t stay tonight and I skip your radio interview tomorrow. I didn’t get the work done that I was supposed to on the mixer today, and now I have a few more things I need to look into for my parents, regarding my sister and Gus.”
Abel pulled up into her driveway without even looking at her, and without turning off his car, he nodded, his moving Adam’s apple once again catching her attention. “That’s fine. You take care of what you have to take care of. If you need to reschedule anything else you have going on with 5th Street or even going on with the fight, that’s fine too, Nell. I don’t want you stressing over any of that when you have this to worry about now.”
Feeling the enormous knot in her throat nearly suffocate her because this totally felt like the beginning of the end, she shook her head. A part of her, that pathetic little part of her heart still held out hope—hope that she could just shut off the hurt of knowing that as with Rick she alone would never be enough for Abel—hope that she could just accept this arrangement for what it was and that she wouldn’t have to walk away to save herself from further pain. That same pathetic part of her aching heart had also actually hoped that he might insist on staying. As strong as she was trying to be, she knew with all certainty that if he stayed with her she’d be in his arms all night. Once again, she’d give into him entirely despite the amount of time she’d spent agonizing over those photos today.
Swallowing back the knot that was still lodged in her throat, she fought the urge to take him up on the offer to cancel everything and just stay in bed for the next few weeks instead. Unless she was planning on cutting Abel along with her work with 5th Street completely out of her life, which would kill her best friend, she may as well face the inevitable. “No, they won’t be back for a few days. They’ll be renting a car and start driving back tomorrow. My mom said she has no desire to be anywhere near Rick for any longer than she absolutely has to be. But we should have everything squared away before the fight and the other things I need to work on.”
“They’re driving back from Seattle?” Abel asked wide-eyed. “That’s a hell of a drive.”
Nellie nodded in agreement then explained why. “They think it’ll be less dramatic for Gus than taking him through the whole airport and flying experience. And they figured the long drive home would get them better acquainted with him.” She opened the car door, her heart aching with every move that she made to end this night with Abel. “They haven’t had a vacation in a while. This will probably be it for them for a few years.”
“Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow at the gym. You said eight, right?” he said as she got out, making no attempt at all to reach out for her and kiss her madly as he normally did.
“Yeah, eight.”
With the realization that she was really walking away from Abel for the first time in weeks without so much as a peck goodbye and that he was perfectly fine with it, she couldn’t even turn to face him now as she closed the door.
“I’ll be on the lookout.”
He didn’t even wait for her to go in before revving up his car and pulling out in a hurry. Maybe he figured he still had time for a quick one with the fitness model or whoever else he had lined up.
With her vision completely blurred now as she struggled to unlock her front door, she finally got it open and hurried to her room. The second she made it to her bed, she lay down and let out all the pain she’d felt that day. She knew no matter how much she wanted this to keep going that she had to put an end to it. It was just too damn painful to keep insisting that she could do this. She’d been an idiot for bringing him back home last night even after Roni had told her how he still felt about their relationship. Maybe he did enjoy doing romantic things with her like in San Francisco and even the night they had last night then again this morning. But it didn’t mean he wanted that for an extended amount of time and exclusively with only one girl.
She sobbed into her pillow, the pain smashing into her heart and stealing the air from her lungs so much so that it alarmed her. Gasping for chunks of air through what felt like a tiny straw, she reached for her inhaler on her nightstand. She forced herself to calm down because she could feel herself getting close to that point of no return—a place she’d dove into far too many times when she was a child but only a handful as an adult. If she didn’t calm down now—force herself to take long deep calm breaths—she could end up having another asthma attack that was so bad she’d be in the emergency room all night. That hadn’t happened since she was still married. Before that, she hadn’t had an episode that felt like this one since high school.
