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I was too afraid of so many things but mostly of losing him too. Him and Liam and Simona.
After the accident, I’d been alone, really. My father was dealing with his own guilt, his own pain at the loss of them, and he couldn’t take care of me, too. He couldn’t take my pain. I understand it.
But I’m done walking through my life with my head down. I’m finished being weak.
Inside the envelope Damian left that day were divorce papers. He’d already signed his name. The settlement is a very generous one. I’d be stupid not to take it.
Along with that was the deed to this ruined house. The land. Damian signed it all over to me contingent on the divorce. I don’t know what I’ll do with it, though. I don’t want to rebuild here. I don’t want to be here. Not now. But I also can’t leave New York City. It’s where Damian is, even though I haven’t seen him once. It’s where I feel closest to him.
I haven’t gone back to school, although the semester started several weeks ago. Everything just feels so different. So much less important.
Liam thinks I should see a therapist to talk about it all, but I don’t want that. I guess in a way, I want to keep a little part of Damian inside me. A piece of him for myself now that he’s gone. Disappeared from my life.
I guess he let me go like he promised.
I touch the spot where my wedding ring was for the hundredth time. Even though I only wore his ring for days, it feels strange not to have it, not to feel the weight of it on my finger. It never occurred to me I’d miss it.
Miss him.
Giving a shake of my head, I walk toward the treehouse. It’ll be dark soon, but I’ve put this off too long.
Dusk has turned the sky a deep, somber blue. It fits.
I reach the base of the tree. It’s singed but the firefighters managed to save it. I stand on tiptoe to reach the rope ladder that’s tucked on a branch. I jump to try to get to it, but it’s too high. I’m just looking around for something to stand on when I hear footsteps crunch the blackened, dead ground behind me.
With a gasp, I spin, not sure what to expect. A ghost? Another monster? But when I see him, see this union of ghost and monster and man, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat and I have to try hard to quash the hope that swells inside my chest.
As the last of the sun disappears into the horizon and the moon casts a silvery light over us, I’m sure my face registers a myriad of emotions.
But Damian’s expression doesn’t change.
I shudder with a sudden chill.
He strides right up to me, extending an arm to release the rope.
I stare up at him. I’d forgotten how tall he is. Forgotten how I feel around him. How my body aches to lean into him. Was it always like this?
We stand like that for a minute. Him just inches from me in his dark suit, hand around the rope. His smell so familiar, making my heartbeat kick up like he used to do.
His eyes are locked on mine and I wonder if he’s missed me, too. If he looks over his shoulder for me like I do him.
For a moment, I indulge the thought that maybe he has.
I count the fresh scars on his face, cuts from the glass when he used his body to shield mine. Even for the ruined skin, he’s still beautiful. More so.
But I know this isn’t the worst of the damage. That’s on the inside. I think his heart must be covered over in scar tissue.
“You haven’t signed the papers,” he says. I remember now how deep his voice is, how it seems to vibrate right inside me.
It takes me a moment to find my voice. “You disappeared.”
He literally vanished off the face of the earth. It was impossible to get in touch with him. I even drove to the house Upstate, but that was a waste of time. It was locked up so tight and under such heavy guard, I couldn’t get past the gate.
“That was the point. You haven’t signed, Cristina. I can’t keep my promise if you don’t sign.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“You also haven’t been back to school. The semester started. Why aren’t you at school?”
“How—”
“Why?”
“Are you having me followed?”
“For your safety. I still have enemies and you’re still my wife.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Are you doing that—having me followed—for my own good?” I ask, suddenly angry. “Like when you walked out of that hospital room before we could even talk about anything?” I hadn’t even known about my uncle being there too until Liam told me. And the whole hanging experience, it still gives me nightmares. I wake up feeling like I’m choking to this day.
