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He looks at it too, then back at me. “It’s nothing.”
I sit up. “What did Gregory say to you in Gallo’s office? He said something in Italian that made you stop. What was it?”
He sighs, turns his attention to stripping off the rest of his clothes. “Nothing that matters.”
“It looked like it mattered.”
“Did it?” he asks, closing his hand over my ankle and tugging me to lie flat on the bed before spinning me onto my belly and pulling me toward him. “This is what matters right now,” he says.
I look back to find him kneeling between my legs beside the bed as he wraps his arms around my thighs and forces my back to arch. He looks at me like that, spread and open for him.
“Did you clean my brother’s cum out of you?”
I flush, but nod.
“Do you like getting fucked by him while I watch?” he asks, dipping his head to lick my pussy.
I bite my lip, grip the sheets.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a dirty girl, Helena,” he says, licking me in slow, long stretches, teasing my clit, making me want.
He stands up, puts his hands on my ass and spreads me open, touches a finger to my asshole. “This is mine,” he says as he draws me up to my knees.
I look back at him. He’s not looking at my face though.
“No one fucks your ass but me.”
“Why do you share me with him? It bothers you.”
“Does it bother you?”
I think about this. “I don’t know. I thought it would.”
“We shared girls before. Done it a few times. It was easier then.”
“Easier to share?”
He nods.
“Then don’t do it. Don’t share me with him.”
He holds my gaze as he pushes his cock into me. It’s too fast, and I’m not ready. It hurts a little.
“I like looking at you when you take him.”
He thrusts again.
“Are you always going to punish me after you make me fuck him?” Because that is what he’s doing. He’s punishing me now.
“After I make you? I think you like it.”
I pull away. I only manage it because he’s not expecting me to. I get off the bed, stand almost nose to nose with him.
“Don’t put this on me. You own me, remember? And you told him to fuck me.”
I don’t know why I’m so angry all of a sudden. Maybe it’s because there’s truth to his words? Maybe it’s because I do want it.
I like having them both. I do. But at the same time, Sebastian sharing me with his brother, it leaves a space between us. A barrier. And this makes no sense to me. It’s what I thought before. What I felt. When we were in Verona and he talked to me like he did. When he made love to me. I couldn’t take that because what I was feeling, what I am feeling, I cannot feel for him.
I think about my Aunt Helena, remember what I read in her journal. She was in love with one too.
In love with one.
What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with us Willow Girls?
“Get back on the bed, Helena.”
“I don’t feel like a fuck.” I shake my head, still in my thoughts, and walk around him, but he captures my arm, stops me.
“I said get on the bed. All fours. Ass to me.”
I try to tug free. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Suddenly not in the mood?” he asks, taking both my arms now and backing me into the wall. “You were in the mood earlier,” he says, shoving me roughly against it.
“Stop.”
He lifts me up, lifts one thigh over his waist and impales me on his cock.
The roses embossed on the wallpaper press their pattern into my back.
“You were in the mood to fuck my brother but not me?” He thrusts again. He has one hand around my hip, digging fingers into my skin, and with the other, he’s holding my wrist to the wall above my head while I cling to him with my free arm.
“You told him to fuck me. You said you wanted to watch.”
“And you got off on it, just like you’ll get off now. Because your pussy’s wet enough.” His eyes are locked on mine as he thrusts in fast and hard and deep.
“What’s your problem?” I ask through shortened breaths while I cling to him. “You want it, you want to watch me get fucked by him, you set some ridiculous rule that I can’t come. You even give him permission to punish me. What does that even mean?”
“Shut up, Helena.”
“No, Sebastian, because if you own me, you own this too. You own what happens to me.”
“I said shut up.”
He tries to kiss my mouth, but I turn my face away and he ends up mashing his mouth against my cheek.
“You know what I think?” I start.
He releases my wrist and grips my jaw instead, makes me look at him.
