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Then I’d have to get back on the movie I’d been filming before this had all happened—if they were even waiting for me. It was still in production, so they’d have to reshoot with another actress or abandon the film all together. Normally I’d never pull anything that damaged the livelihood of the hundreds of people working on a film, but this one hadn’t exactly been in my control.
There was also the case of the ten or so extra pounds I was carrying around with me. Most directors would make comments. There would be pressure to starve myself again so I could be the familiar Anastasia Edwards everyone knew. But I wouldn’t be her, no matter how much weight I lost.
I’d be busy when I got back. That would be good. There wouldn’t be much time to think about how fucking empty my life would be.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
I jumped from my spot in the sand. It was fully dark now, and I could only see the shadow of the man standing in front of me.
“I’m…” I trailed off. What was I doing? Then I remembered how he wouldn’t look at me, the way his voice had sounded. I straightened my shoulders and tilted my chin upward, even though he probably couldn’t see that.
“What the fuck am I doing?” I snapped. “I’m doing whatever the fuck I want, Duke! If you didn’t realize, I was kidnapped by a total asshole earlier tonight. I believed that same asshole was going to kill me. Maybe rape me. I think I have the authority to take a walk on the goddamn beach to process this. So how about you drop the macho asshole act for one fucking second.” I was yelling, screaming. I hadn’t realized how angry I was until just now. It was easier to be angry than anything else. “In fact, how about you stop acting all together? You don’t have to pretend to give a shit about me. You don’t have to drive me anywhere. You don’t have to take me to some picturesque B&B by the ocean. I can drive. I’m rich. I have plenty of people at my disposal to get my life back in order. I don’t need you anymore.”
That last part was a lie. A lie came easy off an angry tongue, one that was forked, and wanted its words to wound.
Duke hadn’t spoken or moved as I’d screamed at him. He’d just stood there and took it, stood there staring, but finally looking at me.
The sounds of the waves snatched away whatever words I’d hurled into the air. They didn’t make their mark. Didn’t wound Duke…because he didn’t care now.
I wasn’t strong enough to walk away. I wasn’t strong enough to yell anymore. And I had a shred of dignity left that stopped me from falling to my knees and begging him to love me.
Duke didn’t speak for a long time.
“Well I need you,” he said finally. Quietly. The waves almost stole those words away too before I snatched them up.
He stepped forward now, all the way forward. His hands went to my neck, pulling our foreheads together. “I will dedicate my life to giving you what you need. Giving you beauty. Giving you a family. Fucking making up for the fact that I let you go, let you stare death in the face and I wasn’t fucking there.” His lips pressed into my head. “I love you, Anastasia. I know I should’ve said it the second you uttered those words. But I thought I was being fucking smart. Being fucking gallant. I didn’t want your memory of me telling you my truth to be tied to the pain of your night. I didn’t want it tangled up in all this shit. I didn’t want to give you any reason to question. I wanted to wait until this shit wasn’t hanging over us, for you to be safe, so I could take you out to fuckin’ dinner, so you could get out of the prison that asshole put you in.” He leaned back to lightly brush his hands over my bruise.
“I don’t deal with fear well,” he murmured. “Mostly because I didn’t think I could really feel it after all that shit I went through. Thought I was broken somehow. But, baby, I’ve never even known fear until I woke up to that empty bed. I’m fuckin’ pissed at you for pullin’ that shit, but the punishment will happen later, and you’ll like it. But I understand why you did it. I understand it, but you scared me in ways that I didn’t think were possible. I imagined you fuckin’ dying, Anastasia.” He paused brutally, and his entire body shuddered. “You dying thinking that I didn’t love you. You dying at all. Going through my fucking life with the memory of how close I’d been to having everything.”
