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Rachel’s eyes opened wide. “You think I’m a mistake?”
“No. That didn’t come out right…”
“I think it came out perfectly right. And if that’s the way you feel then I guess I’ve answered my own question.”
“What question?”
Rachel threw her hands in the air. “I don’t believe you. For some hotshot in the security industry, you know nothing about people.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about us.” Rachel took a step toward him and lowered her voice. “I want to know if last night meant anything to you?”
John stuck his hands in his pockets. “Of course it meant something.”
“What did it mean?”
“It meant that we’re friends. That I care about you. Isn’t that enough?”
Rachel looked up at the sky, then back at him. “I care about Tank and Tanner, but I wouldn’t sleep with them.”
John knew what she wanted to hear, but he couldn’t say the words. “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with anyone.”
“Why did you sleep with me, then?” Rachel’s eyes filled with tears and he felt like a complete jerk.
“I thought you understood. Everything I do affects Bella. I haven’t got time to be part of someone else’s life. It doesn’t mean that last night wasn’t amazing, because it was.”
“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.” Rachel pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. “You’ve forgotten what it feels like to love someone. You’re so busy making money that you think it can replace what’s missing in your life.” She straightened her shoulders. “I’m going back inside to help Tess. Say hello to Bella and thank her for the present. I’ll see her at school.”
“Rachel, wait.” She didn’t stop, so he walked beside her. “I don’t know what you want.”
“Yes, you do,” she said sadly. “You’ve known all along, but you’re too scared to do anything about it. Have a good life, John.” She put her head down and walked quickly back to the house.
John watched her walk away. Before he’d come here, he’d thought everything was okay. But it wasn’t, and he didn’t know if it would ever be right again.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Two weeks later, Rachel opened one of her student’s workbooks. Emma had written a story about what she’d done during her Christmas vacation. Although it didn’t involve death threats, international espionage, or the FBI, it sounded as though her family had enjoyed their vacation in Idaho.
It was more than Rachel could say. John had tried to contact her after she’d left Tess and Logan’s home. After five days of ignoring him, he’d finally got the message and stopped calling her.
She needed time to sort out her life. John Fletcher’s allergic reaction to relationships wasn’t going to be her problem. She had a new job, great friends, and thanks to teaching Bella, a healthy down payment for her first home.
Someone knocked on the classroom door. Rachel looked up and smiled at Tess. She was wearing a beautiful bright red jacket with knee-high black boots and a fluffy hat. Whether she wanted to or not, she looked exactly like the supermodel she’d once been.
“Are you nearly ready?”
“I’ll be one minute and then I’m all yours.” Rachel stuck a big yellow smiley face on Emma’s workbook. “Does Logan know about his surprise birthday party?”
“Are you kidding? Logan is the typical Capricornian male. If I’d told him about the party, he would have wanted to organize everything himself. This way, it’s still a surprise.”
Rachel looked at the time. The cleaning staff would set the security alarm at six o’clock, so she could walk out of the school with a clear conscience. “Thanks for picking me up. This was the only day that the garage could fit my truck in for a service.”
“It helped me, too. Logan didn’t want to go anywhere tonight. At least this way I can say that going out to dinner was your idea and not mine. If you need a ride to the garage in the morning, let me know.”
“I’ll be okay. The garage is going to organize someone to drive my truck back to my apartment.” Rachel put the workbooks away and grabbed her jacket and bag from beside her. “Let’s go and pick the birthday boy up before he gets suspicious.”
“Have you worked out what you’re going to say to Logan?”
Rachel smiled. “He’ll get suspicious if I lie, so I’m going to tell him the truth. You told me it was his birthday and I’d like to take you both out for dinner. It’s my way of saying thank you for letting me stay with you.”
Tess looked impressed. “I like it. I’ve been worried all day that someone will say something to him and ruin the surprise.”
“At least he’s still on vacation and away from the office.”
“But he’s still working. Dan emailed him some information about the company that sent John the death threats. The guys that were extradited here have been involved in some pretty nasty stuff. They’ve kidnapped people before to get what they want.”
Rachel stopped in the middle of the hallway. “I thought John was overreacting.”
“Not even close. Kidnapping, extortion, and bribery were common practice among some of the executives. Dan said there’s going to be a lot more arrests before the case is closed.”
Rachel took a deep breath and kept walking. “Is John okay?”
Tess put her hand on Rachel’s arm. “What happened between the two of you? He came into the café yesterday and asked how you were.”
“I haven’t spoken to him since I left your house.”
“But that was two weeks ago. I thought you liked him?”
“I do, but he doesn’t want a relationship with me. At least not one that involves any commitment.” Rachel opened the entrance doors to the school and waved Tess through. “Where did you park your SUV?”
“It’s over here.” Tess started walking toward her vehicle. “I don’t know what John’s thinking, but I can tell you one thing. The only time I’ve ever seen him smile is when he’s with you.”
“At least he was honest about not wanting to be in a relationship,” Rachel muttered. “He could have strung me along for another six months before telling me. No one knows what happened between us, except you, and that’s all that matters.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to repeat what happened last year. My name was on the front page of the community Facebook page for over a week. If I thought kissing Jeremiah’s cousin was bad, sleeping with a billionaire would be worse. Especially if I became the jilted girlfriend.”
Tess unlocked her vehicle and they got inside. “Think about how John must feel every day of his life. You’re worried about our town’s Facebook page. If John shows an interest in anyone, it would probably make the entertainment section of the New York Times. Maybe it’s not just himself that he’s trying to protect, but you.”
“And Bella.” Rachel sighed. “She’s such a great kid. She painted me a picture and brought it to school today.”
Tess started her SUV and drove out of the parking lot. “She likes you.”
“I like her, too,” Rachel said softly. But it wasn’t enough. She missed John, but she wasn’t holding out any chance of him ever changing his mind.
He was an adult who knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t her.
***
John walked into Charlie’s Bar and Grill, wondering what on earth he was doing here.
His brother waved his arm in the air from across the room. That was what he was doing here. Grant had told him he needed to get out more, meet people that didn’t shoot other people for a living.
Even though Grant’s description of what John’s team did was over-the-top, he got the message.
Grant was standing beside Logan Allen, catching up on what John hoped had nothing to do with Oracom. “Glad you could make it.”
“Are you reminding me that I’m late?” John asked.
Grant looked at his watch. “Only by twenty minutes. Practically a world record for you. I bought you a drink.”
John took the can of soda out of Grant’s hand. “Thanks. I think. Is there something you’re not telling me - like I’m the nominated driver for tonight?”
Grant shook his head. “I brought my own truck and I’ll be driving safely home in it. The soda is a precautionary measure. You’re going to need all your wits about you tonight.”
John didn’t know what his brother was talking about.
Logan picked up his glass of beer. “Did you read the article in today’s newspaper?”
John nodded. “How did you find out who the executives at Oracom were? I thought the FBI and the CIA were keeping those details confidential until the trial?”
“It wasn’t too difficult.”
John popped the tab off his can. “Thanks for not mentioning my name.”
“There were enough leads to make the story interesting. The other people were more than happy to talk.”
