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“He stopped doing the rodeo.”
“He stopped because he injured his back,” Leanne said patiently. “That was one of the reasons that everything came to a head. He was on strong painkillers, and he wasn’t happy, so everyone else suffered.”
An unpleasant memory opened up in Adam’s head of his father shouting at his mother that he was fit to ride and work when he obviously wasn’t. Adam had stepped up then, doing as much of his father’s work as he could manage before and after school. His grades had plummeted, and he’d almost lost his place on the football team because he’d never been available for practice.
“Ruth Morgan stayed put when her son and grandsons walked out,” Adam said stubbornly. “She was all alone. You had us.”
“I know I did.” She sighed. “It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, Adam, but I thought . . .” She paused for so long, Adam almost forgot how to breathe. “I thought that a few days without me would bring Jeff to his senses, make him realize what he was throwing away, and ask me to come back.” Her smile was sad. “Stupid of me, right? Because at that point in his life your father never apologized for anything, and never accepted any of the blame.”
She set her glass on the table. “I waited to hear from him for months until he set his lawyer on me, and I finally got the message.”
Adam contemplated his coffee. He couldn’t deny the sincerity in her voice or continue to pretend that life with his dad had been easy.
“Where did you go after that?” he asked grudgingly.
“I hung around for three months in Bridgeport until Jeff barred me from visiting the ranch or seeing any of you. I went to stay with my brother Patrick in New York. I was a complete wreck and having him in my corner was so helpful. He handled a lot of the legal stuff for me while I lay in my bed and cried my eyes out.”
“Daisy cried a lot, too.”
For a long time, Leanne didn’t speak. When Adam glanced over at her there were tears falling down her cheeks, and she was frantically dabbing at them with a tissue.
He shot to his feet. “I need to take a shower. I’ll be back to set the table, okay?”
She nodded but didn’t look directly at him as she attempted to control her emotions. He couldn’t deal with her right now.
Except, when he reached the door and looked back, her head was down, and he couldn’t quite bring himself to leave either. Sharing the buried anger inside him was kind of addictive, but the shame he felt when his words hit home wasn’t acceptable either. He walked back to the table and awkwardly squeezed her shoulder before retreating again.
He went into his bedroom and stared at the photo of him and Louisa on their wedding day. He knew how he’d felt when Louisa had left him. She hadn’t chosen to go, but, from what Leanne had said, she hadn’t really wanted to go either. He sat on the side of his bed and rubbed his hands over his face. Jeez . . . why was life so complicated? It had been much easier to hate his mother and love his father without all this gray stuff in the middle.
It had been much easier to mourn his wife and close himself off, too. Opening himself up to Lizzie and his mother was a risk he still wasn’t sure he was willing to take. He was so mixed-up—the stupid, childish longing to believe his mother loved him while he kept making excuses for the inexcusable behavior of his father . . . His fear he might get things wrong again, and that the vein of anger and resentment running through everything he did right now was going to boil over.
Despite his best efforts, the women in his life were still managing to get inside his shell and shake him up. He let out a breath. It was way past time for him to shut all his shit down and find his balance again. But right now, how he was going to achieve that without running for the hills and shutting out the whole world was beyond him.
Chapter Thirteen
“It’s good of you to come out to the Cortez ranch with me.” Adam glanced over at Lizzie who was sitting beside him in his truck. She’d left her hair loose and was wearing a dress and looked very relaxed.
“I’m happy to help out.” She glanced out over the sunburned hills. “It was nice of Ines to let Rio and Yvonne see the ranch again while she’s still with Carlos. I can deal with the house while you take on the barn and fields.”
