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Heads perked up. Whispers started. The rumor spread like wildfire, and within minutes, all the families with kids waiting to sit on Emily’s lap had fled the candy cane–striped walkway. Salespeople and shoppers wandered out of Aéropostale and J. Crew and spoke in tight clusters. Everyone started scratching their arms, necks, and scalps. Parents peered carefully at their children’s skin.
A security guard pulled Mrs. Meriwether aside and started talking to her. Soon after, a bunch of men in business suits emerged from a back corridor and strutted over to Santa Land. “I’m Jeffrey Allen, head of operations,” one of them said, sticking out his hand for Mrs. Meriwether to shake. “Did you say you found a bedbug?”
“That’s right.” Mrs. Meriwether pointed to the bumps on the inside of Emily’s arms.
Mr. Allen inspected the bumps carefully, and then conferred with a few of the other executives. Emily caught the words massive fumigation and huge profit loss and maybe there’s some kind of mistake.
“Bedbugs!” a passing mother screeched.
More parents gathered around the execs, wailing that they were going to have to burn all of their clothes and that they were going to sue if their children had bites tomorrow.
“Calm down, calm down,” Mr. Allen said, making a settle down lowering motion with his hands. “I’m calling security right now. The mall will be shut down until tomorrow so we can clean out the problem.”
Minutes later, the jolly Christmas music ceased, and an announcement blared over the loudspeaker that everyone needed to evacuate the mall immediately. Stampedes of shoppers headed toward the exit. As if on cue, the elves emerged from the gingerbread house. “Did I just hear that the mall was closing?” Cassie asked blearily, staring at the people rushing toward the double doors.
“That’s right,” Mrs. Meriwether said in a perfunctory voice. “Get your things. There’s a bedbug investigation.”
Cassie tucked a lock of white-blond hair behind her ear. “But we still get paid for today, right?”
“I suppose,” Mrs. Meriwether said begrudgingly. “But leave your uniforms here—we’re going to have them specially cleaned tonight. Emily found a bedbug in her Santa beard.”
All four pairs of elf eyes swiveled to Emily, and Emily winked. Lola’s mouth dropped open. Heather let out an incredulous giggle. When Mrs. Meriwether turned her back, Cassie sidled over. “A bedbug in your beard, huh?”
Emily glanced around cagily. “How unlucky, right?”
“Holy shit,” Cassie whispered, grabbing onto Emily’s arm and giving it a squeeze. “You’re awesome!”
“You just saved our ass, Santa,” Lola gushed. “I don’t think I could’ve made it through today. I feel like death.”
Emily removed her Santa hat. “I didn’t really feel like working, either.”
“We should do something to celebrate our unexpected time off,” Cassie said, seemingly revived. She gave the other elves a secret look. After a series of unspoken hand gestures and nods, she turned back to Emily. “And you’re coming with us, Santa.”
“Really?” Emily squeaked, forgetting to play it cool.
“Really.” Cassie linked her arm around Emily’s elbow. “You look like you could use a little fun.”
She pulled Emily toward the exit with the other scratching, panicked shoppers. A few people gave Emily wary sidelong glances, probably wondering why she was smiling so broadly in the face of a bug infestation. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them one bit.
Chapter 10
Take It All Off, Big Boy
“Giant Pooh and Tigger on a sleigh to your right,” Cassie called out a few hours later, jutting a fingerless mitt–clad hand out the slightly rolled-down driver’s-side car window. “And, Jesus, is that Eeyore as the reindeer?”
“Poor guy.” Sophie took a long drag on her cigarette. Emily leaned out the window to get a better look. Sure enough, there was a bluish inflatable donkey pulling the cartoon bear and tiger on a Santa sleigh in someone’s front yard. Eeyore did indeed look miserable.
Emily sank back into the backseat of Cassie’s car, where she was wedged between Lola and Heather. The interior reeked of a mix of cigarette smoke, cinnamon gum, and peppermint candy canes they’d grabbed from the Santa Land wicker basket. They were driving slowly around a neighborhood in West Rosewood, ogling the ostentatious decorations, listening to music, and passing around a flask of rum. Emily felt a nervous buzz in her chest, but it wasn’t because of the alcohol, which she’d tried to avoid as much as possible. It was because of the iPhone nestled in the palm of her hand. Something was going to happen tonight, she could feel it. Before leaving the spa, she’d taught herself how to use the camera function, learning which buttons to press and how to zoom in and out. But part of her wanted to toss it out the window. Or, at the very least, tuck it back into her purse.
“This is where Colin lives.” Cassie pulled to a curb and parked, peering out at a large Dutch Colonial–style house set back in the trees. Christmas lights traced the roofline, and a bunch of reindeer paraded up the long front walk. The windows were dark, and it looked like there was no one home.
“Has he spoken to you since the party?” Heather asked.
“Nope.” Cassie set her jaw.
Lola leaned forward. “Do you want to . . . ?” She trailed off, glancing cagily at Emily.
Cassie rubbed her chin, the blinking Christmas lights flashing across her face. “Nah,” she decided. “He’s not worth it.” Suddenly, she perked up at something in the opposite direction. “But what is that?”
