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Growl curled his fingers over my hand. “By exacting revenge,” he said curiously.
I hesitated. “Yes.” Was I being a hypocrite for suggesting something like that? “Falcone deserves death. We’ll never be free with him around. Not just because he can tell us what to do but because he controls our past, he shaped it, shaped us irrevocably.”
Growl backed away, dropping my hand. “Don’t ask me again. I can’t help you.”
My heart sank. For a moment, he’d actually considered saying yes. I’d seen it in his face. Should I keep trying even though he told me not to? Or should I just accept what obviously couldn’t be changed and hope everything would turn out okay for my mother and sister anyway?
I couldn’t say anymore.CHAPTER SEVENTEENCARA
Growl pulled away from me in the days after my visit to the grave. I let him. I wasn’t sure what to do.
He hadn’t even visited me in my bedroom and I was starting to miss it, miss him.
Lying awake in my bed, I listened for every sound outside. Growl had left without an explanation after dark again, and I was terrified in this creepy neighborhood all by myself at night.
Eventually when every creak made me jump, I got out of bed. I crept out of the room and paused in the dark corridor, listening for the sound of claws on the floor but there was nothing. Perhaps Growl had let the dogs sleep in his bedroom. I headed toward it but behind the door it was quiet. I tiptoed into the living room. It was dark in there as well. Only the dim moonlight streaming through the windows allowed my eyes to make out anything at all. Outside I could hear the occasional shouting or a siren in the distance, sounds that seemed to fill all the nights in this area. I wasn’t sure why Growl chose to live here. How could he bear it? Or maybe the hopelessness and brutality that filled so many of the houses in the street was something familiar to him, something he could grasp. A movement in the corner made me tense. Then my eyes made out Coco’s head, and beside her that of Bandit. The dogs were watching me but they didn’t stir from their sleeping spots. I didn’t want to return into my bedroom. I was so tired of feeling alone all the time, of being alone with my thoughts and fears and worries. I walked to the sofa and sank down. Coco rose from her blanket and trotted toward me. I wasn’t exactly scared of the dogs anymore but sometimes they still made me nervous, especially Bandit I couldn’t read their movements very well, since my family had never had pets. But right now Coco didn’t seem in a bad mood. She stopped next to my legs and put her big head down on my knee, peering up at me expectantly. I raised my hand carefully, not wanting to startle her, and held it in front of her nose so she could sniff it like Growl had showed me in the beginning.
Coco didn’t though, she licked my hand. Her tongue was warm and rough but against my expectation not disgusting at all, though the idea of all the places that tongue had been before wasn’t comforting. The dog’s warm breath on my skin and that obvious sign of tenderness brought tears to my eyes. I gently ran my hand over her soft ears and head, and she let out a deep breath. I couldn’t help but smile. I stretched out on the sofa and patted the spot beside me. Coco didn’t hesitate. She jumped up and lay down beside me, her muscled body pressed up against me. I stroked the length of her back, relishing in the feeling of her warm body beside me. The sound of claws on wood made me raise my head, just in time to see Bandit leap off the ground and land on the sofa at my feet where he curled up, his back pressed against the curve of my knees. I knew I’d be safe with them, and the scary noises from outside stopped bothering me.
With their bodies warming me, sleep quickly fell over me.I wasn’t sure what woke me but when I opened my eyes, the sun had only just risen outside. Coco and Bandit were still snuggled up to me; that was probably the reason why I wasn’t cold, even though I didn’t have a blanket.
I had slept without nightmares, something that hadn’t happened in a while. Coco lifted her head to look at something behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and found Growl leaning in the doorframe, watching me and the dogs. “They usually don’t warm up to people easily. They must really like you for them to sleep at your side like that.”
