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I cleared my throat. But I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d made so many plans. They seemed silly now. My eyes darted toward Cosimo and Anastasia again.
Trish followed my gaze and nodded. “I’m sorry, Cara. You know Anastasia always gets what she wants.”
Her words stroke me as strange, but I put on a brave smile, remembering Growl’s words. “You can’t help with whom you fall in love.”
Trish huffed. “Love. Anastasia only loves herself, you know that.” For the first time, Trish voiced criticism against Anastasia, and I realized I’d underestimated her. I’d never pegged her as particularly clever, and she’d always played the stupid blonde, but her attentive eyes now made me realize how wrong I’d been. She’d probably seen through Anastasia a long time ago.
“What do you mean?” I asked quietly.
“She wanted him because of his position. He’s a good catch, and after the thing with your father, an even better catch. That’s all.”
My stomach tightened. “Did she know before it happened?” She couldn’t even say the words.
Trish shrugged. “Probably. She called me the same evening and told me about it.”
“But you didn’t know…” My voice died away. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
Trish lightly touched my arm. “No. I didn’t. And I’m sorry for everything.” Her eyes darted around at the people watching us and her expression became more guarded.
I knew what was going to happen. Trish depended on the appraisal of others like I had before everything had been taken from me. And she, more than I, had always been Anastasia’s sidekick. That wouldn’t change. She couldn’t let it change. Trish wouldn’t risk her reputation by spending time with me in the future. And the worst was, I couldn’t say if I’d done the same if our positions had been reversed.
I took a step back, forcing a smile. “I know we can’t see each other anymore,” I said firmly. “Just one last thing, do you know anything about my sister?”
Trish shook her head. “Anastasia probably does. Ask her.” I could tell that she was eager to end this conversation and I made it easy for her. I turned and started walking but I didn’t know where to go. Wherever I looked, I saw people who wanted nothing to do with me. Not all of them looked as if they thought my family and I had gotten what we deserved but nobody looked like they were going to help me, or even talk to me. I’d never felt more alone in her life, and this time there wasn’t even a mobile in my purse. And even if it were, there was no one I could have called. My desperate gaze settled on Growl who was no longer talking to the group of men. Instead he was standing by himself, a glass of red wine in his hand.
I stopped for a moment. But he was the only person I could go to. I glanced around again, toward the doors and windows, then stared down at my feet and laughed bitterly. When I raised my eyes, Growl was watching me. I knew he’d never taken his eyes off me. There was no way I could escape, not without help, and even though it hurt to admit, I knew no one at this party who cared enough about me to risk it. Trish twirled around the small dance floor with a young man I didn’t know and Anastasia was smiling up a storm at Cosimo’s side. Everyone was drinking and laughing and living their live. But I didn’t miss the glances they kept throwing my way. In some I caught pity and sympathy, but as soon as those few noticed me looking at them, they quickly averted their eyes as if they were worried my bad luck would rub off on them or perhaps that they’d feel compelled to help me.
But there were also the others, those who watched me with curiosity, desperate to still their craving for sensation. I was fairly sure that they’d have approached me to get an update on their gossip regarding Growl if that didn’t mean they would risk their reputation by being seen by me.
I headed toward Growl. When I stopped by his side, he held out the glass of red wine for me. I raised my eyebrows. “Are you trying to make me drunk?”
“You look like you need it,” he said.
I snorted. “I don’t think wine’s enough.”
Growl didn’t laugh or smile, only mustered me with his keen amber eyes. He was still holding the glass out and I finally took it.
“Isn’t that yours?” I asked but took a large sip before he could reply.
He didn’t seem to mind. “I don’t drink.”
“You don’t? They all do.” I nodded in the general direction of the other guests.
Growl didn’t take his eyes off me. “Alcohol makes people careless. It brings out the worst in them.”
