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I crouched beside the woman who was still sitting on the ground, pressing her hand over her mouth. Blood was dripping down her chin. “You’re okay now,” I murmured as touched her shoulder. Her unfocused eyes settled on me. She didn’t say anything. I could smell alcohol on her breath. Her son came running toward us and hugged her around the neck. “Mom…mommy.”
She ignored him, eyes only for Growl who was hitting and shaking her boyfriend, and saying something we couldn’t overhear.
“Don’t let him kill my Dave,” she said almost pleadingly.
I stared. After everything, she was worried about her abusive boyfriend?
“You should go to a women’s shelter with your son.”
The woman shook her head. “Dave isn’t a bad guy. Don’t let him hurt my Dave.”
I stood. Growl shoved the man toward his car. “Fuck off,” he growled, sounding as menacing as he looked. The man got into his car and drove off.
“You should really leave as long as he’s gone,” I told the woman. But her eyes followed the car with despair and longing, and I knew she wouldn’t leave. I ruffled the boy’s hair and the gesture brought a smile to his face. That poor child.
I helped the woman and the boy inside their house, ignoring her constant questions about her boyfriend. Inside the house was crowded with empty beer bottles. It stank of smoke and alcohol, and then I decided that I needed to save the boy at least. I lifted him into my arms and carried him out again. The woman didn’t stop me. She was fumbling with her mobile, trying to call her abusive boyfriend.
Growl gave me a look but didn’t comment as I came out with the young boy. We walked across the street and only when we entered Growl’s house, did he say. “You can’t keep him.”
“I won’t. We have to call child services. We have to do something.”
“You can’t save them all.”
“But I can save him, and that’s enough,” I said firmly. The boy was looking at Bandit and Coco curiously.
Growl glanced between me and the small boy, and nodded. “I know someone I can call. They will find a good place for him.” The boy reached out and touched one of Growl’s tattoos in fascination. Growl’s expression softened a tad and then he headed off toward the phone as if he was scared of his own reaction. There was hope for him after all. An hour later two women came and picked the boy up. That evening I heard his parents screaming at each other again but they didn’t come to ask for him.When I lay next to Growl after sex that night, I whispered. “You did the right thing today.” He had. Perhaps I was wrong, perhaps he could make up for his sins by doing good.
Growl turned to me. “Perhaps. But that woman is still with the asshole. Some people know nothing but misery. It’s something reliable. Change scares them more than their shitty life.”
I traced the inked thorns over his forearm. “Like you.”
Growl narrowed his eyes. “I’m changing my life for you by going against Falcone.”
“I know, and I’m grateful for that. But you’re doing it for me. It’s like you still don’t think you deserve anything good.” I said. “You live in this place though you don’t have to. I can’t imagine Falcone is paying you that badly. You are like that woman in that regard.”
He sat up. “This house isn’t like being beaten up by someone.” He hesitated. “Is it that bad for you?”
I sighed. “This place makes me miserable.”
“You mean I make you miserable.”
“No,” I said, and I wasn’t sure if it was the truth or still part of her plan to make him trust me. “This place. The people are hopeless and ignorant, and there’s no beauty in this place, only desolation.”
Growl looked around the room. “Beauty is fleeting.”
“And desolation and despair isn’t?” I sat up as well, and leaned my chin on his shoulder, breathing in his musky scent. I didn’t want him to leave but I could tell that he was already growing restless.
“It’s familiar. It’s reliable,” Growl murmured. “I always liked that.” And I had messed things up for him, I supposed. A creature of habit, indeed. And yet, he was giving it up for me.
For a while there was silence, then he slowly withdrew, and I had no choice but to let go of him. He perched on the edge of the bed, but then he got up. “Sleep tight.”
“I would sleep better if you stayed,” I said.
Growl hesitated, but then he left again. Every time I thought we were getting somewhere, an action like this reminded me that we couldn’t. Perhaps at some point my heart would grasp that too.We drove toward the Las Vegas strip with its skyscrapers. Everything was bright and the people were enjoying themselves. This was a far cry from where Growl lived. We stopped in front of tall sleek skyscrapers with bellboys in front of the sliding doors. Growl got out before the man could open his door, so he helped me out of the car instead. It felt strange to be surrounded by this luxury again. I almost felt like I didn’t belong, as if the last couple of weeks had changed me so much already that I couldn’t possibly fit into the world I’d been part of all her life. It was a scary thought.
