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Father leaned more heavily on his cane, letting out a deep sigh. “If you prefer to live in the dark.”
“The dark is where we’re all most comfortable.” I nodded at Faro. “Get rid of the body.” He inclined his head then turned to do his job. I could always count on him. But trusting him after today? I’d never trust anyone ever again.
My gaze settled on Gaia, whom I could see lying on the bed from my vantage point.
“How will you ever be able to look into her face again after what she’s done?” Father asked.
“I doubt it’ll be an issue. She probably won’t ever look into my face after what I’ve done to Andrea.”
Three weeks later, Simona was born by Cesarean section. Gaia’s emotional state had worsened, so we had to restrain her at night and have her watched every minute of the day, even when she went to the toilet. Elia, Sybil, and Mia took turns keeping an eye on her. I couldn’t even be in the same room with her without her getting hysterical. I gladly avoided her, however. Even though I hadn’t loved her, her betrayal cut me in a way I hadn’t thought possible. My home had been my safe haven, a place where I could relax after grueling workdays, and my children were the light of my life. Now everything was draped in bitter darkness.
Daniele didn’t understand why he couldn’t visit his mother, but I was scared for him and scared of what she’d tell him. Gaia had always been vindictive, and now she had a reason to hate me.
When I held Simona the day after her birth, because Gaia didn’t want me there during labor, I fell in love with that little girl. Blood meant little in this moment, and I’d never allow it to.
Gaia didn’t get over Andrea’s death. I was foolish to think she could for the sake of Daniele and Simona. For a while, she made me believe she did. She took pills that calmed her, and eventually she almost seemed like her old self. Sybil and Mia still had to take over most of the care for Daniele and Simona. But things seemed to be looking up. We managed to play our roles in public, managed to avoid each other behind closed doors. Sometimes we settled for politeness, but the hatred in Gaia’s eyes always reminded me of the reality of our situation. I’d killed the man she loved. She would never forgive me, and I didn’t need her forgiveness. I only needed her to find it in her to take care of our children.
But Gaia focused most of her love and attention on the last gift from Andrea: Loulou. She treated the dog as if it was a human, lavished it with tenderness and loving words she should have given only Daniele and Simona.
I didn’t allow her to be alone with our children. Sybil or Mia had to be around because I still wasn’t sure if Gaia wouldn’t kill our children just to hurt me as much as Andrea’s death hurt her. I never considered her capable of infanticide, but now I wasn’t so sure. Images of my children’s lifeless bodies haunted my nightmares.
We lived a lie, which became more and more unbearable every day, but at the same time, I got used to it.
Four months after Simona’s birth, on the day of our eighth anniversary, Gaia ended it all. I’d made dinner reservations in our favorite restaurant for appearance’s sake, but the moment I came home I knew something was wrong.
It was awfully quiet in the house. Too silent. I was a man who enjoyed the quiet, but this kind of silence rang too loudly, bounced off the walls in ominous echoes.
I found Sybil asleep on the sofa. Shaking her, she came to but her eyes remained unfocused. “I’m sorry, master. I must have fallen asleep.”
“That’s not just sleep. I told you to be wary around Gaia!” I snarled, releasing her. “Where are Daniele and Simona?”
Sybil blinked, then her eyes widened with fear. I began running up the stairs then froze on the second-floor landing. Small bloody paw prints covered the beige carpet.
My heart clenched so tightly, for a moment I was sure I had a heart attack. It ran in our family, after all. I stormed toward Simona’s bedroom, ripping the door open, then stumbled toward the crib. Simona lay unmoving and everything in me stilled. In the one second I considered her death, I understood why Gaia wanted to kill herself after losing Andrea. I wrenched Simona up so fast, she came awake with an ear-splitting scream. God, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. I clutched her to my chest despite her relentless cries and kissed the top of her head over and over again.
