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“No,” he admitted, his voice soft.
I was glad that he didn’t lie.
I think it would’ve been worse if he’d lied.
“The day of my brother’s funeral, you said something to me,” I told him, my eyes never leaving his. “You smiled at me and told me that I had a bee in my hair. You got it out for me almost as if I was a flower instead of a person. You shooed it away, smiled, and kept walking. You had no clue that you’d just made my day infinitely better.”
He cursed lightly. “Raleigh…”
I shook my head. “You dated Chelley and Sheri. Tonya and Megan. Jocelyn and Sonny…”
He placed his hand over my mouth. “Stop.”
I shook my head. “All of those others? I could get over. I don’t know why knowing that you were with Coach Casper is different…but it is. It burns.”
And with that, I left and didn’t stop when he called my name.
I didn’t have to because just as I’d left his office, I not only noticed that the bell for the next period had rung, but also the entire football team was standing there, looking at me wide-eyed. Oh, and they looked like they’d heard every word.
Incredibly embarrassed now, I rushed out, not looking back.
I was thankful that I only had one period left, and that it was the end of the week to boot meaning I didn’t have anything to do after school, so I planned out my night.
And it involved an entire bottle of wine.
***
The icing on the shit cake was the smug goddamn look that Mackie shot me as I walked out of school after letting Ezra know, in no uncertain terms, that he was an ass.
Luckily, I’d told him that while we were in the parking lot—I’d thought away from any listening ears.
Unluckily, as I’d gone to leave, my stupid car once again said that the key fob battery was low, despite having replaced it twice. Meaning that my car didn’t start, and I was left stranded. Again.
“Shouldn’t you be at practice?” I asked sweetly, forcing myself to stop and talk to him when I wanted nothing to do with the kid that was turning into quite a strong looking man.
A scary, strong looking man at that.
Mackie’s lips turned up into a silent snarl. “Coach kicked me out of practice for today because of my ‘bad’ attitude. Looks like both of us are free…need a ride?”
I snorted. “Negative.”
Then I walked down the long driveway that led to the main road in Gun Barrel. Maybe someone I knew would pick me up and I wouldn’t have to walk the entire way.
They didn’t.
Which gave me plenty of time to realize the error of my ways—and understand that I’d done something stupid by taking my bad day out on Ezra.
***
“Shit,” I breathed. “Son of a whore. I’ve just seriously had a really bad day, Cam. I don’t know that I can do…”
“Raleigh.” Camryn smacked my thigh. “Ezra loves you. He. Loves. You,” she repeated for the fourth time. “Just go tell him you’re sorry. You had a bad day, he knows that.”
I knew that he knew that.
I still didn’t want to go.
I wished I could bury my head in the sand and pretend that today hadn’t happened.
I wanted to forget anything and everything that happened before six in the evening last night, or maybe go back in time and tell Camryn that I wasn’t going anywhere with her.
“And like I said, it sucks about that Casper chick,” she continued. “Everyone hates her guts…but Raleigh, Coach Casper doesn’t have Ezra, you do. He can’t fix who he was before you, but he can make sure that you’re his one and only now. It’s time for you to realize that.”
Sometimes I loved my best friend, but then again, there were times that I really hated her.
I hated that she was right, too.
Apologies were a bitch.
I’d been a bitch, too, so I guess it was kind of fitting that I had to do something that caused me so much discomfort.
I’d been rude and mean to the man that loved me—that had openly told me he loved me in front of half the student body population—and I was kicking myself over it.
“Fine,” I said, snatching the bottle of wine off the counter. “I’ll go…and I’m borrowing your car.”
Camryn snorted. “Just make sure that you have it back before morning…or pick me up and take me to my appointment. Whatever you want to do.”
I gave her a thumbs up and then headed out the door to apologize.
Unluckily, or luckily depending on how you looked at it, Camryn was only a few streets over from Ezra, meaning I only had to drive a short distance to get to my destination.
I can do this. I can do this.
I chanted that to myself as I sat in the car, waiting for the clock to strike seven in the evening and for him to finally arrive home.
