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Dr. Dickerson shook his head.
“Honestly, I want to know what he’s feeling before I give him anything,” he explained. “We’ll go from there.”
The nurse was doing something at the IV pump. Her eyes were on the instrument, and her fingers were flying over the buttons.
None of the words made sense, and I had a panicked thought that maybe it was more of what was making me feel paralyzed that she was putting in the machine.
However, when I felt the warm, reassuring hand on mine, despite not being able to squeeze hers back, I felt relieved.
My panic at being hooked up to any kind of machine lowered to manageable levels, and I took one long, deep breath.
Everything would be okay.
I would be able to check out as soon as I could feel my toes.
I would be okay.
I would be okay.
I would be okay.
“When this does wear off, I want you to let me know.”
Yeah, right.
“We will,” Henley replied, sounding sure of herself.
Wrong, Hen. So very, very wrong.
Then, just like that, I was left alone again with my fierce little kitty that was protecting me from not only the nurse but also the doctor.
Her eyes turned up to mine, and she smiled.
“You have a lot of people that are going to freak out when they hear that you’re awake,” she said. “In fact, your sister might break down and come down here when she hears.”
I blinked twice.
“No?”
I blinked twice again, indicating no.
“Why not?”
I just looked at her, and she blushed.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Sometimes I’m stupid.”
I blinked twice.
She smiled and looked away.
“Your team’s lost ten games without you,” she changed the subject. “Do you want to watch the game?”
No, that was the last thing I wanted to do. Seeing them playing the game without me would fucking hurt, so I blinked twice.
She blinked back.
“No?”
I blinked twice again.
“Okay.” She looked down at where her hand was on mine, and quickly took it away.
I felt the loss like a swift kick to the chest.
I wanted her hand back more than I wanted to move my fuckin’ hand.
I blinked twice.
She frowned and tilted her head.
I looked down at my hand, her hand, and then blinked once.
“You want me to hold your hand again?”
I blinked once.
She bit her lip, but she chose to place her hand back on mine and squeeze it.
Why I could feel her hand, as well as her heat, but couldn’t move my freakin’ hand, confounded me. I had so many questions to ask, and none of them came.
“They said it could take up to a couple of hours for you to start regaining some feeling,” she said. “Would you like to watch a movie on my phone with me?”
I blinked once.
She nodded her head and pulled out her phone, hit some buttons, and bit her lip in concentration.
“I hope you don’t mind if I watch it with subtitles,” she said. “It’s easier for me to concentrate and understand what’s going on.”
I understood that completely.
My sister was deaf like her, after all.
I blinked twice.
No, I didn’t mind. Not the least tiny bit.
In fact, having the subtitles on would be helpful in a lot of ways.
“I’ll try to find one you like,” she said. “I have a shit ton on here for my niece…but there is Deadpool, Star Trek, and GI Jane.”
Any of those would be fine, but she waited for me to choose—and to do that, she asked for each one individually. When I realized she was going to force me to choose, I blinked once at Deadpool.
Anything was better than nothing at this point, and maybe by watching a movie, it’d make me focus on it instead of not being able to move my limbs…and being in my worst nightmare.
But then she pulled a pillow from somewhere behind her, placed it on my lap, and placed the phone against the pillow. She took the seat beside the bed, scooted it as close to the bed as the bed would allow, and sat in it. After she was situated, she leaned over, pulled her legs up into the chair, and reached forward to press play.
Once the movie started, she leaned her head against the bed, only inches away from my head, and took up my hand again.
The minute she did, my heart rate decelerated, my breathing evened out, and I fell into a trance.
I watched the movie.
I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to pull her closer.
I realized that I was a really bad patient.
Most of all, though, I wished I could freeze time, because I’d never felt more right in my life, and that was kind of terrifying.
***
It was at the end of Deadpool, two hours and a minute into it, when I felt the twitch of my nose.
I looked down, focused my brain, and moved my nose again.
I wanted to yell. To scream in excitement. I wanted to do anything really, but mostly, I wanted to shake the sleeping woman next to me. The woman who still had her hand in mine. The woman who I could smell now that I’d focused myself. The woman’s hair that I could feel brushing over my skin.
