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I couldn’t help myself.
I laughed.
CHAPTER 22
SKYE
We never made it to a bed the second time, either.
Aiden and I had decided we both needed a shower, and after we’d explored each other’s bodies in the multiple sprays from the fancy shower, we hadn’t bothered trying to get to the bedroom.
“We finally made it,” I teased as I looked at all the room-service items that were spread out on the bed.
Both of us had experienced midnight hunger pangs, so we’d ordered up some food.
Funny that we were eating on the bed we’d wanted to fuck on.
He grabbed a couple of fries, dunked them in ketchup, and then dropped them into his mouth before he said, “About damn time.”
I smiled as I took a bite of my burger. I was sitting cross-legged and naked on the bedspread, while Aiden was sprawled out beside most of the food.
I’d gotten over my nervousness about my changed body, and I had no qualms about sitting in front of Aiden naked now. Honestly, I was starting to believe that I turned him on just the way I was.
All I could really think about was that it was a darn good thing that we had a king-sized bed to accommodate all the food we’d ordered.
“Are you complaining?” I joked.
He caught my gaze and slowly shook his head. “Never. It doesn’t really matter to me. I just thought you needed to experience taking it slow in a damn bed for once.”
I snickered. “I don’t think we know how to take it slow. And it doesn’t matter to me, either.”
“You do realize that we didn’t even think about protection,” he finally said. “You’re the only woman who has ever made me forget about that.”
“You’re safe. I’m clean. And I still take birth-control pills.”
“No worries here, either,” he admitted. “I’ve been checked, and I haven’t been with somebody else in a long time. And never without a condom.”
We ate in silence for a couple of minutes before he asked, “How do you want it, Skye? Tell me what really turns you on. What are your fantasies?”
How could I tell him that every naughty fantasy I’d ever had was about him? And that it didn’t much matter how we got to the hot and sweaty parts.
I shrugged. “I don’t think I really have any except for being nailed by you. Positions are optional. I just don’t like it doggie style. Or . . . anal.”
He must have heard the trepidation in my voice, because he nailed me with a sharp look. “Why? Did he hurt you?”
I’d polished off my cheeseburger, and I wiped my hands with the napkin. “You know he did.”
“With anal?”
I nodded slowly. I was done with not telling Aiden everything. We were having a sexual relationship. He deserved to know. “Yes. It hurt. I think he liked that. He always pushed me down on the bed face-first, and then did it that way.”
His expression turned thunderous. “You can’t just do it. Granted, it’s never been a big thing for me, but you need lube, and to take it slow. Work into it over time.”
“That’s never the way it happened,” I said with a shudder.
“Is that why you never got pregnant again?” he asked in a softer tone.
“God, no. He was an equal-opportunity abuser. That was just his preference a lot of the time. I took my birth control like clockwork. I hid them so he didn’t know. The last thing I wanted was to get pregnant with his child.”
“You know I’d like to kill that bastard?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Don’t. Don’t hate him. He’s not worth it. None of them are worth it.”
I’d learned a long time ago to not give Marco the power to make me feel anything, even hate. He didn’t deserve any emotions from me. I couldn’t help the lingering PTSD that I had, but I refused to consciously let myself feel anything about the criminals I’d helped put away. They’d taken up enough of my life.
“Maybe not,” he grunted. “But you’re worth it. I hate him and every bad thing he ever did to you. But the bastard is in jail, so I can’t kill him.”
“I wouldn’t let you even if he wasn’t,” I said softly. “Then I’d lose you.”
I could see the tension in Aiden’s muscles release. “I’m not going anywhere,” he rumbled.
At that moment, I wanted to move across the bed, climb inside his gorgeous, naked form, and stay there for the rest of my life.
For the first time in a long time, I felt . . . safe. And I knew Aiden made me feel that way.
“You know I’d never hurt you, right?” he asked.
I popped a fried mushroom in my mouth and chewed as his laser-sharp gaze was trained on me.
“I’m not afraid of you, Aiden. I never have been. Maybe I was worried when I found out that you didn’t know about Maya, but I’ve never felt a single twinge of fear that you’d physically hurt me.”
“I didn’t mean to mentally hurt you, either,” he said in a powerful voice.
“I know. If I hurt you, it was unintentional, too,” I told him honestly.
He lay back on the pillow, obviously done with the food. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“I do,” I encouraged.
“You broke my heart when you left. Maybe we never talked about a future because I knew you had schooling you wanted to do, and you were so young. But even then, I wanted to marry you, Skye. I knew it wasn’t happening for years. And that was okay—I was willing to wait because you were still too young.”
My heart tripped, and then it started to throb.
He’d known years ago that he wanted to be with me?
Aiden had never told me that he loved me, but thinking back, he’d shown me that he did. Even though we didn’t talk about a serious future together, we’d planned all the things we’d wanted to do as a couple. So what if we hadn’t talked marriage? He’d let me know he was coming back, and that he considered us a couple. Sometimes actions mattered more than the words.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion.
“I really never got over you,” he continued. “It took me several years to even go on casual dates again. And it was never the same because those women weren’t you.”
“I never got over you, either,” I confessed.
“Then why did you brush me off when you first got back to Citrus Beach?”
“I wasn’t ready to talk. I was still angry that you hadn’t come after me, even though I was glad you didn’t because you could have ended up dead. Really, I was the most upset because you didn’t recognize or care about our daughter.”
“But I didn’t know about Maya,” he pointed out.
“I didn’t know that.”
“I have to admit that it still hurts that you’d think I’d ever brush off you and my child,” he said huskily.
“Then I’ll tell you that I was sad you’d ever think I’d just up and leave you because of money. I would have rather been poor with you than to be with a guy just because he was rich. I didn’t care about Marco’s money. Honestly, I never saw much of it anyway. I didn’t want to touch it.”
