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“But you never heard from me because I never read that letter,” he concluded. “I was left to assume that you wanted to be with somebody else because he had more money than I did.”
“I never wanted you to think that,” I told him adamantly. “Did I really seem like that kind of woman?”
Maybe I could understand why he had felt that way, but it still hurt.
“I had no idea what to think,” he said. “I still don’t. But if I had known that you didn’t want to be with Marino, I sure as hell would have found you.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said in a tremulous voice. “I thought you’d just trashed the letter after you’d read it, and you didn’t think about me anymore.”
I flinched as Aiden’s fist came down on the table. Hard.
“You knew damn well that I was crazy about you,” he snapped. “Did you really think I wouldn’t have responded to a cry for help from you?”
I’d been so damn hurt that I’d thought exactly that. When Aiden hadn’t shown up to take me away, I’d given up all hope of being happy. All I’d focused on was my daughter, and survival.
But honestly, now that I was older, I probably should have wondered why a man like Aiden had just chucked me out of his life without another thought. “Just like you, I didn’t know what to think,” I said quietly. “I was scared.”
“So where in the hell do we go from here?” he grumbled. “We didn’t even have enough faith in each other to go and find out the truth.”
“I’m not here to get you back. I know you don’t believe me, and I don’t blame you for that. Really, we hardly knew each other. We only went out for a couple of months.”
The time for me and Aiden had passed a long time ago.
“So you just wanted to close this chapter of our life?”
“Not exactly.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “There’s another reason why I was really scared of becoming homeless. If it had just been me, I would have done it. But it wasn’t just me.”
He gave me an assessing look, one that seemed to be able to see my soul. “Who else was there?” he asked, sounding confused.
I took a deep breath. “I was pregnant, Aiden. I think I conceived the night before you left for your long fishing job. Maya isn’t Marco’s child. She’s yours. My little girl is your daughter.”
CHAPTER 5
SKYE
The silence in Aiden’s enormous home was deafening.
He didn’t speak.
He didn’t react.
He didn’t move.
But I could see the shock and horror in his expression.
That long, stretched-out period with no words spoken between us was the instant I truly realized that Aiden had never known the truth. He really had thought I’d left him for money without a qualm.
Maybe I’d understood that with my head since last night, but I hadn’t known it in my heart . . . until now.
It was hard to change nine years of disappointment and sadness over the fact that he hadn’t wanted Maya in his life, but the truth had just slapped me in the face.
He hadn’t not wanted her.
He hadn’t not cared.
And he sure as hell would have been there for both of us if he’d known.
He just . . . hadn’t had a clue.
I was flooded with regret, an emotion I was perfectly familiar with. Regret and guilt seemed to be the two feelings I could never banish. They lived with me like the only items of clothing I owned, clinging to my skin.
It’s better that he didn’t know.
Considering the mess I’d gotten myself into with the Marino family, Aiden not knowing had probably saved his life. But those thoughts were cold comfort as I stared at the face of a man who looked completely devastated.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, finally breaking the silence between us. “I didn’t know that you never got the letter.”
His expression was thunderous as he stared back at me, his blue eyes darker in his anger. “So what, Skye?” he growled. “You thought I had just ignored the fact that I supposedly have a daughter? That I could go on living my life not knowing how she was, or how she was doing without a father? Jesus Christ! You never really knew me at all, did you? What kind of guy does that?”
Don’t cry. Don’t let him see that you have emotions. Don’t let him see your weaknesses.
I’d been so well trained by the years I’d spent with Marco that my survival instincts took over.
My heart was breaking.
But I’d be damned if anybody would ever know it.
My daughter’s safety had always depended on the way I handled the family.
“I don’t think either one of us really knew each other,” I said flatly. “You thought I’d leave for the money, and I was under the impression that you knew about Maya but didn’t want to be part of her life.”
“I would have wanted to be part of her life. For fuck’s sake, I raised my siblings, sacrificed whatever I had to in order to give them a better life. Did you really think I’d feel any differently about my own daughter?”
Unable to look at his furious expression anymore, I turned my eyes to the surface of the table.
“I was young, alone, and pregnant, Aiden. Do you really think I had a lot of rational thoughts? I wanted my baby to be safe. That’s all I was thinking about.”
“Why in the hell didn’t you contact me again before you married the mob?” His voice was raw. “Why didn’t you check to make sure I got your letter, and that I knew that the baby was mine?”
I shrugged. “Why didn’t you find out for sure why I’d left with Marco?”
“It seemed pretty damn obvious,” he snapped.
“As obvious as your rejection appeared to be. Look, I’m not saying I did the right thing,” I explained. “But it seemed like the only solution for me at the time.”
Feeling restless, I stood up. Aiden rose from his seat, too.
“You’re not leaving until I have answers,” he said in a slightly calmer voice. “We could rehash all the details over and over again, but it isn’t going to change the fact that I have a daughter I’ve never gotten to know and never knew existed. Your days of running away from everything are over.”
I flinched at the insult, but maybe he was right. When I was eighteen, I had run away. It was only as an adult that I learned to face things head-on.
“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. If I hadn’t wanted you to know, I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Aiden scraped a hand through his hair in apparent frustration. “Was he good to her? Did he treat her like a daughter?”
I wasn’t even going to pretend I didn’t understand what he was asking. If the roles were reversed, I’d want to know the same thing. “Marco never took to Maya. He was never abusive to her physically. He just pretended like she really didn’t exist.”
I’d been more than willing to take any punishment my ex-husband had dealt out so he didn’t turn his malevolence toward my daughter.
“He knew you were pregnant?”
I nodded. “He used the pregnancy as a way of getting me to marry him. I would have never done it if he hadn’t known and understood that my child was my priority. But after we were married, he completely ignored her, and I kept Maya away from him as much as possible.”
