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“So I was not about to give you the one thing that would allow you to fully destroy me” Darius looked back at her, his features sombre. “I would never have used a child Sara...never”, his words soft and low as she looked away, wiping away yet another tear with the back of her hand, nodding softly. “I’m sorry Darius. I know that things have been going so well...but I couldn’t take the chance...not with Carly. I have to make things right for her...I have to get things sorted”, looking desperately at the corner of the room. “She shouldn’t be there...she should be with me”, her voice disappearing into a whisper.
For several moments there had been silence between them before he once more spoke. “You said ‘what was left of your savings’ what did you mean by that?” Sara’s look flew to him, a small frown of surprise on her features before she answered slowly, “About two days before Tara died Ted Roberts phoned me” Darius remembered the burly foreman, a man he admired and liked very much, the only person that her father -an arrogant and bullying man - had seemed to respect, the two men having grown up together.
“He was retiring and my father stipulated in his will that he and his wife be given an all-expenses cruise as a final gift...apparently the cheque for the holiday bounced and he couldn’t get in touch with Nick or Angela...he called me because the money had to be paid that day” Giving another sigh she smoothed down her dress.
“So I went down to the travel agents and paid the cost myself...ten thousand dollars...I just assumed that there had been a mistake...that I would get the money back”, anger coming into her eyes. “But I didn’t get it back. You were coming against us and Nick was telling everybody how well we were doing...how you would fail...but the whole time he had been siphoning off money and lying about everything. A week after Tara’s death and being constantly brushed off for the return of the money, I went down to the office and demanded the return of my money or that I would call in the police” Her head dropped again. “That night he disappeared...and then everything came out. I had no money, no job and faced everything blowing up and becoming a media circus which would have killed my chances of adopting Carly”
Sitting back, Darius regarded her seriously, “So you have been trying to sort out everything by yourself? And all because of Carly?” Miserably, she nodded, “Yeah”, her tone full of defeat as she wiped away another tear, her voice becoming harder. “My mother and Angela ... God they make me so mad...but for David and Carly...I had to do what I could...even accepting your ‘demands’”
She looked up as Darius rose, his voice soft. “I should let you get back to Carly...she needs you” Sara was surprised, watching as he moved over to the door, holding it open for her as she also stood, expecting him to ask more, not sure why his lack of interest seemed to fill her with even more hurt. “Y...yes...thanks” Moving out of the room, he turned, his expression unreadable.
“I will have some clothes sent over for you...take as long as you need” Sara nodded, murmuring a thanks as without another word he spun around and moved back down the corridor, something so deep inside Sara tearing that he had left her when she needed him most. Pulling herself together she pasted on as bright a smile as possible, standing taller as she moved back into the room, Carly’s relieved look making the pain dull just a little.
Chapter Eight
The whole evening she sat by Carly’s bedside, the small girl waking several times as the pain in her stomach become too much for her, Sara soothing the child who would cling to her hand until sleep would finally take her once more. She did not care what a strange sight she made, her hair now falling around her naked shoulders, her elegant cocktail dress now creased. She slept fitfully on the uncomfortable high winged chair which had been brought in by some kindly nurses. Sara was glad even for it, as they apologised that they had nothing else to offer her. She was thankful also that the nurses brought her tea, their friendly smiling faces welcome, after the coldness which seemed to fall on Darius as he left.
That their relationship was over she was in no doubt. His need to get away from the hospital - away from her - testament to that, she having to fight the tears which threatened each and every time she thought of him. Was this not what she wanted? Had she not needed to get away for her and Carly’s sake? Time and again the answer “yes” would stick in her throat while her heart cried “no”.
As the grey half-light heralded morning, Sara rose, stiffly moving her aching muscles as she unwound herself from her curled up position on the chair. The dress was a mess, its once exquisite flowing material now crinkled and sticking up and out at odd angles. Moving to the window she peered at the clock on the wall, sighing softly - 6:00 already. In an hour they would be down to take Carly to surgery, her stomach flipping at the thought of her beloved Carly undertaking such an operation, fear and concern filling her. She knew that it was routine, but it was Carly... her little girl. With a gentle smile on her face she looked over at the child asleep on the bed, her features so serious, her small heart-shaped mouth set mutinously, brows drawn in a frown, Sara’s heart filling with the love she felt for the little girl.
The movement from the door made Sara jump, smiling warmly seeing Rachel standing with a large bag in her hand. Motioning the other woman in, she looked at her with the surprise she felt.
“Rachel? How...what?” the questions falling over themselves as she whispered in confusion. Rachel gave a small chuckle, her eyes falling onto the small child still sleeping in the bed, a gentle compassionate look entering her features. “How is she? Darius phoned and told me that you were here with the little girl you are adopting”, her voice kindly, Sara feeling the slamming awareness of his name. “H...He did?” she managed gently, Rachel nodding.
“He had me up at four this morning”, waving away the apologetic words that rose to Sara’s mouth. “No...Its fine”, her gaze once more returning to the bed. “I was around at some warehouses I know...they are open super early, so it was no problem. I think I got everything on his list”, handing over the large overnight bag, gently patting Sara’s arm. “If you need anything else...anything...I promise it is no bother, just ring me”
Sara nodded as she once again thanked her, Rachel slowly and silently once more backing out of the room, giving her a final wave as she disappeared out of sight. Opening the bag, she gave a smile seeing the jeans, t-shirt and trainers, sighing with pleasure at the small silk bag full of toiletries. Delving deeper she drew out small bright pink pyjamas decorated with images of princesses and nightdresses also, smiling at the expensive and wonderful items, her eyes once more looking at the small girl on the bed, wearing pyjamas which had seen better days, thankful that Darius included items for Carly on his list.
Delving further, she felt the small happy tear rise to her eye as she pulled out a large teddy bear, one of the softest she had ever felt, her lips curling into a large grin as she quietly moved over to place the bear on the bed beside Carly so that it would be the first thing she saw when she woke up. An assortment of books and toys completed the contents of the bag, and Sara placed them on the nightstand, brightening the austere room instantly.
She hoped that there would have been some word from Darius...a note, a card, but there was nothing, the happiness she felt from the many gifts marred by his silence. He had left for Italy with a last kindly act...and silence for her, Sara feeling the pain of knowing that he must have nothing but contempt for her. She wished that she could tell him how she felt...how she loved him...but it was too late for that. With a heavy heart she wondered if he would even look her up when he did eventually return from Italy.
The stirring of the little girl on the bed as she woke pulled her thoughts back as Sara moved over to sit on the chair. “Good morning sleepyhead”, she chuckled softly as Carly’s eyes fluttered open, a sweet smile on her lips as she saw Sara so close. As she moved, her hands touched the bear, her eyes flying to it as she gave an excited squeal. “Look...look Sara...I got a teddy bear”, her small features becoming momentarily so serious. “I told you I was brave” Sara nodded as the child pulled the bear against herself, hugging it lovingly before holding it out for her to see.
“You are the bravest little girl I know”, Sara stated somberly as Carly giggled, pulling it to herself once more. “His name is Teddy”, she declared, as Sara held back the laugh, nodding seriously in agreement. “The best name ever”, she declared, delighting the little girl.
The entrance of the nurse, so jovial and kindly saw all the nerves return once more as they prepared Carly for surgery. She had been allowed to walk as far as the theatre with the little girl, holding her hand, ignoring the looks of those they passed as she still wore the clothes of the previous evening. With a final kiss on her small cheek and a promise to look after Teddy, Sara returned to the room, the nurses allowing her to use the bathroom to shower and change, Sara gaining some relief from feeling clean once more.
