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“She is a beauty that one”
Tessa still not responding determined not to give him the satisfaction of asking who he was talking about.
“He calls her his Best Project Manager”
John had given another laugh, his voice full of innuendo, as it had sunk into Tessa who he was talking about, her stomach feeling sick at the knowledge. Clara was beautiful, she was smart and sophisticated and Alexis’s {same} mistress, this knowledge tearing painfully at her as she had fought hard to keep her face emotionless so as not to give her grandfather the satisfaction he was looking for, the whole time her heart breaking into thousands of shards which tore painfully at her insides. The memory of the last night before they had travelled to Greece had rushed back to haunt her. The knowledge that he had needed to spend one more night with his mistress before marrying her, tearing painfully at her, as she had fought hard not to show her heartbreak.
Finally able to speak she had given a noncommittal shrug of her lovely shoulders.
“That is his business; I knew what I was signing up for”
Rewarded by the disappointment in the other man’s face as he had grunted and turned from her,
“Just make sure you never forget that Tessa”, finally leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Feeling two hands slide around her from behind Tessa had jumped, giving a shaky smile as Alexis had looked down on her.
“Everything OK?”
He had asked, seeing the stricken look in her eyes, something many would not have noticed, but already knowing her well enough.
“Yes…..I…I just have a headache that’s all” she had finally managed, her eyes not able to meet his. Instantly his expression had turned to one of concern.
“Then we should go” he had said with finality in his voice, as Tessa had shaken her head,
“No……we should stay till the end”
He had looked down at her.
“I am sure that they will understand - we are newlyweds after all” moving in closer whispering into her ear,
“It is almost expected, Cara…..I think many others would like to leave too……but they can’t until we do”
Tessa had given a small half smile, nodding her head, with the realisation that what he said was true, wanting to be as far away from her grandfather as she could get.
“OK…….yes let’s go”
It had taken them a further half hour to get out of the hall, as people moved forward to say goodbye and wish them both well for the future, Tessa’s last image of the room, that of her grandfather glowering angrily at her.
Back in the car, Alexis had seemed distant, quieter than earlier and Tessa wondered if he was missing his mistress. If he was wishing himself to be with the beautiful blonde, the thought bringing her so close to tears that she could feel her heart once more breaking with this new knowledge, knowing that the honeymoon was well and truly over.
When they had moved back into their bedroom, he had moved around the room, his tone polite but still so distant, that Tessa could feel her head start to throb for real. As they had slid into bed, he had given her a small kiss.
“You were beautiful tonight Tessa, how are you feeling?” he had said, his voice thoughtful, as though there was more he wanted to ask.
She had given a shaky smile up at him.
“I’m fine……just a headache. I’m sure a good night’s sleep will get rid of it”
A long strained few seconds of silence had followed, as though he were fighting hard with himself, wanting to ask her more, and Tessa had found herself holding her breath instinctively knowing that it was important. Finally he had given a small sigh leaning in and gently kissing the top of her head.
“Then sleep, I am up early tomorrow, Clara and I have to attend a meeting”
As he had spoke he had turned to extinguish the bedside light and had not seen the stricken look on Tessa’s face at the mention of the other woman’s name.
That night for the first time since their marriage, they had not , and Tessa had turned her back on Alexis, her whole insides churning, as silent tears had slid down her lovely face. She had heard his breathing become deeper as he had fallen asleep. Sleep eluding her, as every time she had closed her eyes, visions of her husband, the man she loved, would fill her mind. Visions of him to the beautiful woman she had met at the charity ball, the visions mocking her as she realised that there would be many more Claras in their marriage. She had chastised herself for making the biggest mistake that she could possibly make knowing the terms of their marriage, the mistake of falling in love with him.
The following morning, as Alexis had risen Tessa had too. He had been shocked to see how white she looked, telling her to go back to bed. However, she had given a small smile shaking her head.
“No…….too much to do” seeing the look of surprise on his face.
“What is so important?” he had asked.
Tessa had looked back, giving a soft sigh.
“Well I need to check on the studio…..there are a few repairs that need done before the new term starts”
Alexis had stopped looking at her with surprise.
“What do you mean new term?”
A frown had appeared on his face as she had looked on in surprise.
“My dance studio”
She had answered her voice full of the surprise she felt.
“There is no need for you to keep the studio going now Tessa…….you have all the financial security you need”
Tessa had stood, slowly moving over to him.
“I don’t do this for security Alexis……I do it because I love teaching” a feeling of dread slowly filling her.
“You know I love teaching dancing”
He had watched her, his fingers racking through his hair as he had chosen his words.
“I thought you understood…….you are my wife and hopefully very soon the mother of my children, your place is at home with them, not gallivanting all over town running a dance studio”
Tessa had felt the hairs on her neck bristle as she had held his look, hers every bit as determined.
“No…….I do not recall having any such conversation, and neither did I remember you making any part of our wedding vows that I was required to move back fifty years. I think I am more than capable of looking after children and running my studio”
“No” he had bitten out as though talking to a small child.
“If you want to keep it fine, but you can hire a manager to run it for you. Your place is here”
Tessa could hardly talk as she had glared back at him, the anger shining so brightly out from her lovely eyes.
“No?……no?……..I am not some kind of puppy for you to train, and I will not have you tell me what I can and cannot do”
He had moved to grab his suit jacket before swinging back to face Tessa, his expression dark with the anger on it.
“What is it with women, why do they think they can do it all, juggling family and a career, because the only people who end up getting hurt are the children. My mother thought she could do it and she couldn’t, so Tessa I don’t give a damn what you think, you will be giving up running the studio and you WILL be staying here with our children”
As she moved forward to continue arguing, he had grabbed his briefcase and moved out of the bedroom door.
“Don’t wait up; this meeting will take most of the day and night, now I’m late for Clara as it is. Goodbye Tessa”
The mention of the other woman’s name had knocked all the fight from her, bringing with it tears which stung her already tired eyes as they streamed down her cheeks. She had moved back to the bed flinging herself onto it as the images of the two had once more flooded her, the pain tearing at her once more, only this time accompanied by anger. It was OK for his mistress to pursue a career, to have that freedom, but not her, not his newest accessory. The anger had consumed her, as she had kicked the mattress with her feet, for the first time allowing herself to be overcome with the unjustness of her situation. To save Andrew she had given up everything, including the one thing she never thought to be in jeopardy, her heart.
For several minutes she had lain there, wallowing in self pity, before images had pushed their way through to her angry mind. Images of them on the dock as they had enjoyed the picnic he had planned. Images of the hurt in his eyes as he had told her of his mother and of growing up without her sacrificed to her career. With each one her anger had subsided a little more until she was calm, the hurt melted away as her heart had reached out to him, reached out to that lonely sad little boy.
But she was not like that, her dance studio was part of who she was, it was her way of giving something back to so many children, and Tessa loved children, and she would love their children she knew. She would love them more than anything else in the world.
Sitting up she had wiped away the tears before with determination she had placed a call to her general contractor to meet her at the studio. She would not give up on her dream; somehow she would prove to him that she could find the right balance.
