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"Well, since I don't have any pot on me which would work just as well..." I said as I walked toward the door.
"Wait wait wait," Reeve's voice called, sounding amused. "You can't just make a pot comment like that and slink off. You smoke?"
I fumbled for words for a second, settling on a shrug. "Only if I'm really hurt. I would rather smoke a harmless plant than take dangerous pharmaceuticals. Babcia used to grow it," I told him, wanting to share that with someone, anyone else. There was no one else I would have trusted with that information.
"No shit? The old broad was holding out on everyone, huh?"
"It is a medicinal herb," I objected, lifting my chin a little.
"Sure, babe," he said, smiling big.
And I mean big.
It was the first wide, genuine smile I had seen from him.
And, good god, it was a sight to see.
"Out of curiosity," he went on, lips twitching hard, "do you and your Babcia also consider mushrooms medicinal?"
"Shut up," I said with a laugh, shaking my head at him. "Though, there have been many studies that suggest mushrooms can help ease depression and trauma. But, no, I have never shroomed, so you can stop looking at me like that."
I didn't mean it.
I never wanted him to stop looking at me like that.
With joy.
Joy.
Even as battered and hurting as he was.
He was showing me actual happiness.
It was the most stunning thing I think I had ever seen.
"Go on, babe, get the pills. I'll tease you when you come back. And get in the bed with me."
I know he didn't mean it that way, but my sex clenched almost painfully as I turned to go out the door.
I came back with his pills, handing him two because I knew it would knock him out, then moving in under the covers when he patted the spot next to where he was resting above them, not wanting to smear the salves all over them by climbing in.
The room was pitch with the light out, but I could feel his eyes on me as he turned as much as his sore body would allow before reaching out to stroke my cheek.
"How are you holding up really?"
I turned my head to kiss the wide, rough skin on his palm. "I'm holding up," I informed him, leaving it at that, not wanting to lie because I knew that once he passed out, I was dragging myself in the animal room and crying into Charlie's feathers.
"Deserve better," he said, sounding groggy already.
"I'm not sure there is better," I replied a moment later to his, I was sure, sleeping body.
Because, quite frankly, I didn't think it was possible to find another man even half as amazing as he was. Sure, he was a biker. And, yes, he had a past that seemed troubling, something that might always haunt him. But that didn't change anything.
He was kind and sweet and loyal. He had a teasing sense of humor. He was built like a Greek god. And he thought of everyone else before himself.
A man like that, I was sure, was rare.
I wasn't sure I had ever met one before.
As I snuck out what seemed like an hour later and closed myself in the animal room where someone had already dropped off the play stands, I let the animals out to stretch their wings as I checked for safety concerns. After blocking off the sole cord in the room, I decided it was safe to leave them free as I moved over to the bunk to curl up.
And, as expected, I cried.
Not just because the emotions of the night were catching up to me, overwhelming when all of them confronted me at once. Fear, adrenaline, worry, confusion, and back again in endless circles.
But, as Charlie curled in at my side and made grinding sounds with his beak to try to comfort me, I had a sneaking suspicion that - more than anything else - I was crying because this felt like the beginning to the end.
If he was determined to push me away, eventually, he would succeed.
Besides, if he couldn't find a way to let me in, we were doomed before we even began.
I fell asleep on that bunk, my heart breaking a little in my chest.ELEVENReeve"Oh, Jesus Christ," I grumbled, coming awake with the god-awful smell of all of Rey's ministrations all over me, somehow smelling worse after they had dried, though I was sure that wasn't even possible.
I had fallen asleep with her by my side.
But I woke up alone.
Not sure if that was because the pain meds had knocked me out for a long spell or not, I got up, and dragged my sore body to the shower, scrubbing off all the crap on me before moving over toward the mirror, surprised to find all the cuts had sealed over, and weren't even the bright, angry red color you would expect so soon, but rather a light, healing pink.
