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"He doesn't have it much better there. Most of his brothers have wives or girlfriends. There are women everywhere. Though, to be honest, he doesn't mind it. He really loves women. He seems to sort of view them all as extended family, like a whole other group of sisters."
"The poor guy," she told me with twinkling eyes. "I hear you have some loved ones. Anytime you want, you can bring your family here. I have a feeling your family will be our family sooner rather than later anyway."
I liked how easily she accepted the fact that they were my family even though, technically, they weren't. Everything about Grace seemed welcoming, open-armed, a quality I had never come across before. Except maybe in her son.
"They are all the way in the city."
"Yes, I heard about that. Distance, that can be difficult, no?"
"I honestly don't know. I've never tried it before."
She nodded at that, going into one of the pots to start scooping peas into a bowl.
"Do you like Navesink Bank?"
She wanted to know if I would be taking her son away from her.
Honestly, there had never been any question of that. His club was in Navesink Bank. If things got serious between us, I would have to be the one to relocate since I had nothing keeping me in one place. My people aside. But Astrid had made it clear through her many text messages showing me screenshots of local Navesink Bank attractions, eateries, and real estate that she was perfectly on board with moving if things with Roderick and I progressed.
As for Cam, I didn't know. I hadn't had time to debate it all out with him before I left. And, the little snippet of conversation he'd graced me with aside, he hadn't changed his ways suddenly according to Astrid who claimed he was still about his looks and grunts.
It was a conversation I wanted to have. Because even though I was over-the-moon at the idea that Astrid was all in this with me no matter what it meant change-wise for her future, I couldn't picture my life without Camden in it. I didn't want to imagine him leaving us, going off on his own. I had to have him with me. No number of new friends could ever fill a Cam-shaped void in my heart.
So I needed to know where his head was at.
But that was something that needed to be done in person and, quite frankly, I wasn't ready to go back yet.
Getting more time with Roderick only made me want more time with him.
I wanted to sit around the common areas, bullshitting with his friends, learning all their inside jokes, meeting the rest of their women. I wanted to fall into his bed, enjoying each other until our bodies gave up on us, then fall asleep in his arms, getting the luxury of full nights of sleep that I could only have with his arms around me, his body beneath mine.
I wanted to wait out the rest of the cold months with him then take a trip to the beach when the summer got hot. I hadn't been able to spend much time lounging on beaches in my adulthood, and the idea of doing them with him - especially with how much he loved it there - made me giddy as a kid on Christmas Eve.
"Do you want children, Liv?" Grace asked, point-blank, as Roderick warned me she would.
"I do," I told her honestly. "I wasn't ever sure it was something I could have. With my lifestyle, y'know? But I would like kids."
"You would have to retire, no? To be a mother."
"I guess that would likely be true. Safety hasn't exactly been guaranteed in my line of work," I told her, waving to the scar on my face.
"Oh, that. Don't let that make you feel insecure, mija. I have more than my fair share as well. It is interesting, no, how life only etches the bad times on our skin. There is no proof of the smiles, the laughter, the dreams fulfilled, just the pain."
"Maybe that's the point of tattoos," I said, shrugging. "Unfortunately, I am not some modern-day rapper. Face tattoos wouldn't work for me."
"You have other scars, yes?" she asked, watching me hard, her expression unreadable.
"Yes."
"Maybe you and me, one day, we go and get something happy etched over the pain."
"I could design them," Ana suggested from the doorway, making me wonder how long she had been standing there. Grace, however, didn't seem the least bit distressed. I would imagine with six children, she had long ago given up the idea of privacy, even in her own home.
"I saw your art on Roderick's walls in his room. You're amazing."
"He has my art up?" she asked, eyes brightening at the idea that her big brother thought they were good enough, the look of joy something precious on her face.
