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I had a feeling I knew who.
Since he was coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in one hand, the spoon raised in the other.
West.
"He said the damndest thing," Astrid continued, struggling to get the little circle of tape off the tab tuck closure.
I was sure he did.
My gaze went to him, likely accusing, making him hold his spoon-hand up. "Didn't say shit that wouldn't be obvious if they were around here," he said by way of defense. If I wasn't completely mistaken, there was a hint of accusation in his voice as well.
It never would occur to me that West would feel - even in the slightest bit - protective of me. At least outside of a life-or-death sort of situation. But just as a person, protective of my feelings and such.
It seemed pretty clear, though, that he was irritated with Liv and Astrid. For what? For getting their own lives? For not coming around as much as they used to?
A part of me bristled, the side that was defensive of the girls no matter if they were right or wrong.
The other part, though, felt a bit, I don't know, thankful toward West. For seeing - despite how hard I tried to bury it so that even I didn't see it - that the distance from the girls bothered me more than I cared to admit. That he knew I was struggling with the separation, with feeling connected to anyone the way I was with them.
Picking up on the tone, Liv's eyes went sadder than I had seen them since she settled down with Roderick.
"There really isn't any excuse," Liv said, shaking her head. "I'm busy, but I'm not so busy that I can't find a few minutes to check in with you more often. I've been a shit friend."
"You?" Astrid asked, face scrunching up. "I don't have the kid excuse. I'm just a selfish bitch," she said, shaking her head as she gave up on the tape, ripping the top off of the donut carton instead before moving toward me, wrapping her arms around my body.
Astrid was not big on affection. She had her issues. They made her cautious. They made her standoffish when it came to physical contact a lot of the time. Over the years, it had lessened when we lived back in the city. She would lean on me when watching movies, throw her legs over my thighs. Comfort came with familiarity when it came to Astrid.
But since we had all moved to Navesink Bank, since she moved up to Hailstorm, she'd gotten increasingly more physically distant once again.
I got it. I understood her. I knew she had to be met at her level. You couldn't go to her with your expectations when it came to something that made her uncomfortable.
So getting an unprompted hug from her was unexpectedly welcome, sweet, and fucking needed.
My arms went around her immediately, giving her a tight squeeze.
"I'm sorry I am a shitty sister sometimes. You deserve better."
"Guys, you're killing me. I'm gonna cry," Liv said, already sniffling.
"She won't admit it," Astrid said in my ear. "But I think she's knocked up again. Hence the waterworks."
One arm released Astrid to summon Liv over. She came easily, quickly, colliding with the two of us, nearly knocking me off balance.
"Okay, enough of that," Astrid said a breath later, untangling from us, shimmying her shoulders like she needed to shake off the warm feelings. "So, you'd never believe what that pain in the ass told us," Astrid tried again, handing out donuts.
"Who is she?" Liv blurted out, biting into a Boston Cream. Which pretty much confirmed Astrid's suspicions since Liv cringed at the cream filling in the past.
"And don't try to shrug or furrow your brows," Astrid demanded. "We won't fall for that. You have a girl?"
Was there any reason to pretend I didn't?
Because, even though we hadn't had any discussion about it in any way yet, there was no denying that was what was going on with us.
I didn't hand out my number to women. I didn't sit around and wait for them to text me back. I didn't try to go out of my way to get them coffee, donuts, takeout. Just because I knew it would make their day.
That was the shit I saved for Liv and Astrid.
My family.
And the guys.
My brothers.
I didn't do it for random women.
I didn't need to do it to get a woman in bed.
That had been all I wanted from women in my life. A relationship seemed like a perfectly asinine idea. I didn't figure most women were down to have one-sided conversations from now to eternity. Assholes might quip about how women just wanted someone to talk at. But after living with Liv and Astrid for so long, I knew that was bullshit. They wanted a deep connection. It wasn't exactly easy to connect with someone when you couldn't speak with them.
