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“How’s the damage out there?”
“It’s not pretty, but it could be worse.”
She looked away a little awkwardly, staring at her cup. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”
I fought the urge to sigh, to let her know that those words, however innocent she may have intended them to be, had a lot deeper meaning than she realized. Because women you were interested in, who you were dating, when you brought them back to your place, went down on them, fucked them, fed them, then slept with them, yeah… they didn’t fucking thank you for letting them crash. Whether she was aware of it or not, that was her guard slowly going back up.
“Come here,” I said.
“I’m right here,” she said, brows drawing together.
I snorted, taking her coffee out of her hands and putting it on the counter before grabbing her and hauling her against me. “I meant come here,” I said against her hair, smiling when I felt her arms go tentatively around me.
“Oh.”
“You aware that you take up the entire fuckin’ bed when you sleep?” I asked and I could feel her laughing silently.
“Yeah.”
“You also kick.”
“I do not!” she insisted, pulling back far enough to look at me.
“Got a bruise on my leg that says differently,” I smiled and she actually looked sheepish.
“Sorry.”
“I think I’ll survive. I washed and dried your clothes.”
“Oh,” she said again and, if I wasn’t mistaken, she almost sounded disappointed.
“But there’s no rush on that. You want breakfast?”
Her nose wrinkled up. “I’m not much of a breakfast person,” she admitted and it was just another little piece of her I got to have.
“Alright. Want to fuck in the shower?” I offered, half-joking, but totally willing to deliver if she wanted that.
To that, I got a rare, stunning smile out of her. It lit up her whole fucking face. “Well, I definitely want a shower in that spa of yours.”
“Alright,” I said, releasing her and stepping away. “Go get washed up,” I said, swatting her ass hard when she turned to walk away. She threw me a smirk over her shoulder but kept going.
I let her have her shower, though I knew that she was going to use the time to steel herself against me and also despite the fact that I genuinely would have liked to fuck her again. She came back out half an hour later, hair pin-straight wet and her jeans and long-sleeve black tee on from the night before. She looked good, but I preferred her in my tee. Or naked.
“I stole your extra toothbrush,” she said as she came up to the counter and took her mostly-cold coffee and started drinking. “So you might want to stock up before you have overnight guests again.”
Right then I did sigh. “Alright, I think we can both agree that I’m not exactly the kind of man to keep his opinions to himself.”
“No, really?” she asked, her voice taking on a sarcastic pitch.
I ignored it. “I’m also not really the kind of man to analyze shit to death or deny myself something I want.”
“Ah, okay…” she said, brows drawing together.
“So what I’m saying is, this shit with you and me? I’m in.”
“This… shit with you and me? There is no shit. We’ve had some good casual sex and…”
“Stop,” I said, shaking my head. “This hasn’t been casual and you know it. It’s more. I might have been a little slow at realizing it at first myself too, but Lea… I fucking built a fence and installed a security door for you. I barely fucking knew you but I wanted you to be safe. Now, I’m not romantic. I won’t be writing you poetry or sending you sappy texts or shit like that. That’s not me. But I’ll show you I give a shit in my own ways: keeping you safe, making sure you have what you need, fucking you until you can’t see straight. That’s what I have to offer you. Take it, leave it, that’s your decision. But don’t call this casual because there is nothing casual about it.”
“Shane, we don’t even know each other.”
I resisted the urge to say well, whose fault is that and took a deep breath instead. “We know enough. Don’t pull that. We know enough to start something. People start on less every God damn day. I get you’ve been through some shit and you’re hesitant and scared…”
“I’m not scared,” she snapped, hackles rising.
“Lea, fucking terrified. But that’s fine. I get it. It’s probably even smart of you to be. But if there’s one thing I want to make real fucking clear right now… I don’t do that shit. If you can’t see that, then maybe it’s smart to end this right now.”
“I see that,” she said, voice uncharacteristically quiet. “If for no other reason but that I think your mother would roast your balls like hibachi,” she added, lips tipping up.
